A Christmas to Remember(51)

The door was cracked open when she got there, and she could see Adam, his elbows on his desk, his hands on his forehead like someone does when they shield the light from their eyes. He was reading something. He slid his fingers down his cheeks and rubbed his face. How can he enjoy something so much that exhausts him like it does? she wondered. She pushed the door open and he looked up, his face pink from rubbing it.

“Hi,” she said, standing in the doorway.

“Hi,” he returned. The friendliness that was usually behind his eyes and the grin that hid around the edges of his lips were both absent. He watched her enter the room, following her with his eyes only, a cautious look on his face. It was the kind of look that made her want to wave a little white flag in surrender and say I come in peace. Regardless of his actions, for him, it was a normal night, and he’d been blindsided. Carrie knew enough about human behavior to realize that it couldn’t be altered in one day. Change takes time.

There had been many instances already where she’d gotten involved in areas of the Fletchers’ life that were not her concern, and this was yet another. She knew she shouldn’t be in his office trying to do anything at all—she should be in her room—but there was something inside her that felt like she could make it better. She didn’t know how, she just felt it.

“I was just checking on you,” she said, using all her energy to make the words come out softly. She was angry and annoyed and worried all at the same time. He was an adult; he should see what he was doing, but he either didn’t see it or he didn’t want to see it. She was frustrated because she knew this was a problem that he’d created by choosing to work so much, and, being the planner and problem solver that she was nearly certain he was, he should be able to fix it. Instead, he was being selfish by working so much, and his family was suffering. Yelling at him, however, wouldn’t make things any better. It would just make him angry, and he’d probably close up more than he already had. She watched his shoulders relax and his chest rose with a quiet breath. “If you want some supper, I’d be happy to bring you some.” Then, in a whisper, she said, “I can sneak it up. They’ll never know.”

Against his will, a smile emerged. He tried to straighten it out. When he looked up at her again, the friendliness had returned to his face. She’d managed to make him feel like she was on his side, and it made a happiness bubble up like she hadn’t felt since she was a kid. She knew it was ridiculous, but she felt a little like they were a team and they could do anything together. It made no sense. She barely knew him, she had no idea of the depth of his family drama, and he would never be with someone like her, but when he looked at her, it was as if none of that were true. He was certainly charming when he wanted to be.

“Look,” she sat down on the chair opposite his desk. “I’m not here to get involved in your family’s matters. I don’t want to do anything except make sure you’re okay and that you’ve eaten.” She remembered how her mother had always said that in the south, food equals love, and she had a pinch of fear that he could see through her concern, and her little crush on him would be as clear as day. Without warning, she could feel the heat from the splotches that spread across her chest when she got nervous. She didn’t want to look down to confirm it, but she knew they were there.

“I’d love some supper, actually,” he said, leaning on his fist, his elbow propped on the desk. The way the lamplight hit his face, she could see how tired he was.

She nodded, not wanting to talk for fear that her words would come out a jumbled mess, like her thoughts. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, as annoyed as he made her sometimes, she was completely falling for him and she felt very protective of him. While his family’s concerns were quite valid, she was nearly sure that he felt they’d ganged up on him. Her feelings for him made no sense—she’d told herself that over and over. He was her boss! He lived a state away from her. He wasn’t even the kind of person she knew she’d want to be with—he was never home, he ate by himself, he didn’t know how to relate to children. He pawned off major emotional moments on others, not even wanting to buy his children their Christmas presents! On paper, everything was wrong, but she couldn’t stop herself from feeling something for him.

“I can bring you some supper in your office,” she finally said. “Want some company?” She knew Joyce and the others would understand and not take her gesture as rudeness. She was almost certain that they would want her to try and talk to Adam as much as she wanted to talk to him.