“Of course,” Joyce said.
“Thank you.” Without any further explanation, she walked down the hallway to the office.
Chapter Eleven
Look confident, even when you don’t feel it. Carrie repeated that line to herself. She had been toying with an idea for a craft for the kids, and she’d gone back and forth about it, not wanting to bother Adam, but she felt like it was the right thing to do. She was meddling, but she didn’t care. She just couldn’t stand by and watch the children lose out on having a fantastic father. She worried that her gesture may backfire like it had at the tree lot, but doing nothing wouldn’t change the situation, so she pressed on. He may send her right out of his office, but she didn’t care about that either. She wouldn’t leave until he agreed. With a shaky hand, she knocked on his door.
“Come in,” he said, his voice sounding preoccupied.
She opened the door all the way and walked in, her hear pattering.
“Everything all right?” he asked.
“Yes. I was wondering if you could stop your work for just a few minutes. It won’t take long, I promise. I’m doing a craft with the children, and I’d like you to participate.” She knew what he was probably thinking: I’ve employed you to watch the children, not me. Why are you bothering me? She could feel the question pelting her all the way across the room. It gnawed at her, but her resolve was like steel when it came to the children, even if confronting him rattled her to the core. The children had no advocate but her.
Adam scratched his forehead, then rubbed his eyes. “I’m waiting on a call…”
“And what will happen if you miss it?” she asked boldly. She was out of line, she knew it. She was being demanding, but she knew that he was in a tight spot. What other nanny could he possibly get short term and during a snowstorm? She was willing to take her chances for the children.
His eyes narrowed and with a controlled, even voice, he said, “I won’t miss the call.”
“So that call is more important than your children?” There. She’d put it out there. It was completely not her place, but she felt so strong asking him. It was an important question to ask, and even if it cost her the job, he needed to hear it.
He stood up behind his desk, leaning on the surface of it with his hands, his fingers spread wide, his shoulders tense. “Pardon me?” She’d never seen him look at her with such a fierce expression, and it made her want to sink into the floor and hide there, but she wasn’t backing down. “This call is for my children. If I fall down on the job, the whole thing will go under, and I won’t be able to provide a thing for them. Your services certainly aren’t free, are they? This house, their private schooling, everything they need is paid for by me.” He took in a deep breath, let it out, and sat back down, clearly getting himself back under control. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a job to do. As do you.”
Yes I do, she thought, and I’m not going to let the kids down. “Do you know what Olivia wants for Christmas?” His face didn’t show a single change; he just waited for her to get out whatever it was she was going to say. “She wants you to take her ice skating. That is what’s most important to her. To Olivia, ice skating is as important as your call is to you. I know you don’t think it’s important, and she knows that too. She told me that you were going to take her once, but you got involved with work and forgot. I sure would hate for the person who’s calling you to forget to call. To drop the ball. To abandon whatever it is you are working on.”
Carrie knew she’d upset him—it was crystal clear—but there was still something about the way he looked at her that made her feel like it was more him getting it off his chest than it was actually calling her out. He wasn’t angry, she thought; he was defensive. She could work with defensive. Carrie walked over to his desk and sat down across from him. Cautiously, she said, “I know you work hard to provide for your children. But you have to show them sometimes that what they need is important. If you don’t, they’ll grow up thinking you don’t value their needs. It’s vital to show Olivia how important ice skating is to you—even if you have to fake it—because to her, it’s the most important thing.” He looked up at her, his face still hard and tense. “They need more than your money.”
“I don’t have time for this right now.”
“You’re a busy man. I don’t know if you ever have time for this conversation,” she said, her voice gentle and empathetic. She could feel how raw his emotions were at that moment, and she wanted to be so careful not to make him close up. Telling Adam what he needed to hear hadn’t been nearly as hard as she’d expected, and she felt a kind of exhilaration at standing up to him. It made her feel strong and significant. “Let them see who you really are. I can help you, and, I promise, it won’t take but a few minutes of your time. Show them today how important they are.”