Adam finally looked at his children, the edges of his mouth turned up just slightly. Then, his gaze moved along the mess on the island. “Is everything all right?” he asked.
Carrie wiped a runaway strand of hair off her forehead with the back of her wrist, wondering if she’d put a streak of flour across her face. Worry tickled its way up her neck. What if she was overstepping her bounds? What if Adam didn’t think that making pancakes at the age of four was an appropriate activity? She’d have to have enough self-confidence to explain herself, and she still felt like falling over every time he entered the room.
“Yes, everything’s fine,” she said nervously. “We’re just making breakfast.”
He nodded slowly. “Well, I’m off to work.”
She waited for the children to say, “Bye, Daddy!” and try to hug him with their dirty hands, but they didn’t say or do anything. They just watched him with blank faces. Finally, David offered a little wave. Adam held up his hand to say goodbye then turned around and headed down the hallway. Her worst fears were confirmed. These children didn’t know their own father. They didn’t have a bond with him at all. They were missing out on such a warm, kind man, and he was missing out, too. He was missing seeing their faces light up with joy, their sweet giggles, and all the tiny moments that were slipping away. Why didn’t he make an effort? What was keeping him from getting to know his children? Carrie looked at their perfect, little faces, and she couldn’t fathom how he could live with them day in and day out when they were here, and not spend every single minute with them.
“Say, ‘Bye, Daddy,’” she coaxed the children.
“Bye, Daddy,” they said in unison.
“Have a good day!” she called down the hallway as the front door shut, and he was gone.
Chapter Five
Surround yourself with positive energy. Carrie had read that once, and she believed it did help. How could the children enjoy the season when there wasn’t the first shred of Christmas in the house? With the kids finally in bed for the night, she opened her laptop on the kitchen table, holding Adam’s credit card in her hand. She typed Christmas decorations into the search bar and hit enter. With only a few more clicks, she’d put a wreath for the front door, window candles for every front window, greenery and ribbon for the banisters, more white lights than she could count, and seven boxes of ornaments into her virtual shopping basket. She hit the Purchase Now button and entered Adam’s details, making sure to choose the most expedient shipping options. On a pad of paper, she jotted down the amount she’d spent and took it into his office for his review. It was time to get this house ready for Christmas.
There were a few things, however, that she hadn’t purchased on purpose. One was the tree and the other were the presents that Adam had asked her to buy. Somehow, she was going to get him to buy both. The children were going to get presents from their father and not from her. She wasn’t quite sure how she would do it, but she was going to try. She looked at the clock on the oven. It was nearly eight o’clock at night, and he wasn’t home yet. She pulled out the dish of lasagna and put it into the oven to reheat.
As she sat in the silent kitchen, now clean with no trace of the pancake making, she felt very alone. She’d had a fantastic day with the children. They’d really enjoyed the pancakes, and after, they’d played in the snow and made the rainbow snow volcano with her food coloring. When, begrudgingly, they’d had to admit that their little hands and feet were too cold to stay out any longer, they’d come inside, had a bath, and she’d made them hot chocolate. The rest of the day, she’d spent playing games. By the time they’d had dinner, she could see the exhaustion on their faces—their drooping eyelids, their rosy cheeks. They’d fallen asleep by ten minutes to seven, leaving her an hour with her thoughts.
She wondered if Adam had any idea how lucky he was. He had an amazing home and two wonderful children who were capable of so much love. As she was putting them to bed, David reached up and kissed her cheek. “I had lots of fun today,” he’d told her, his eyes blinking from fatigue. She’d only known him a day, and he’d given her a kiss. She saw the way he looked at Adam this morning, as if he wanted to him to stay, his hand raised in the air to say goodbye, his eyes watching Adam so intently. How much David could learn from his father.
And Olivia—did Adam ever watch her as she danced? Had he seen her spin circles until she crumpled to the ground in laughter? Why hadn’t he ever grabbed her hands and spun her around? It would be so easy to do. It was as if the children were just waiting for him to make a move, to put forth some gesture of love toward them. He had so much right there in front of him, and he was missing it! One day he’d wake up and they’d be teenagers, leaving home to go off to some college far away—and he’d never get this time back. The reality of that fact was heavy on her shoulders.