“If you leave during my speech tonight I will be unhappy with you.”
“Then make it interesting.”
* * *
Tonight, she was wearing the pink gown. That fluffy confection that had been fitted to her the first day she was here in the palace. Her dark hair had been tamed into a sleek bun, a tiara resting on her head.
It was so foreign. Yet familiar at the same time. This had been her life once. Parties, beautiful dresses, crowns. She had been royalty in the palace and Tirimia. In her daily life she had only ever felt the distance of royalty, and none of the benefits.
This was different. Tonight, she would stand with the entire royal family. Part of something. Not apart from something. Tonight, Kairos would be announcing that she and Andres were getting married after the Christmas service tomorrow morning, in the old church down in the city.
The most beautiful dress had been created for her. Zara could scarcely believe it had been made up so quickly. It glittered like the snow that fell here in Petras. Lace with little glass beads stitched all over it.
She couldn’t think of anything more beautiful to wear while becoming Andres’s wife. And she couldn’t think of anything more beautiful to wear tonight for when the country found out she was becoming his wife.
And all of it mattered more because she had realized something over the course of the past few days spent in his penthouse. She loved him.
She had no experience of love, that much was true. She didn’t even remember what it felt like to be loved by a family. But that was why she knew what this was. She imagined you never appreciated food more than you did when getting it after you’d been starving. That everything tasted better, each bite more precious, worthy of savoring. You didn’t need to have experience of feasts to understand that you were dining at an exquisite table.
She knew. Knew that this was everything she’d been waiting for.
She’d thought of it as home the other day. Thought of him as home. Had thought of this as destiny, the fulfillment of the promise of her royal birth. She could see now it was more than that. The feeling people talked about when they discussed their homes was love. And as much as you could love a place, she loved a person so much more.
Andres.
Her first foray out of the woods. Her first real human connection, in so long.
Being with him was more healing than time or distance. Being with him, choosing him, forced her to realize that while the clan had certainly been distant, she had been distant, as well.
It wasn’t until Andres that she had reached out.
“Are you ready?”
She turned and saw Andres standing there, looking perfect in an expertly tailored tux. A striking black jacket, a matching bow tie and a crisp white shirt. He was clean shaven, his dark hair brushed off his forehead. He looked less rakish than usual, but he was as devastatingly sexy as ever.
He was going to be her husband. He really was hers, to keep. The very idea made her giddy down to her bones.
She couldn’t recall ever being giddy in her life before this.
“Yes. Ready.”
“This is a massive party. And the service tomorrow will be even bigger. I hope you feel adequately prepared.”
“I don’t know if it’s possible to feel prepared for an event on this magnitude. But I’m not going to revert to an animalistic state and hide under a table.”
“Well, that is reassuring. Though I must say I wasn’t particularly concerned.” He held his hand out and she took it, electricity sparking over her fingertips, straight to her heart as their skin made contact and he pulled her close. He kissed her and the world fell away. “We will have to dance, though.”
“I’m ready if you are.”
He smiled. “I’m always ready.”
She slipped her hand down between them, cupping his arousal. “I know you are.”
A rough sound vibrated in his chest. “You can’t do that. We have to go. Kairos will notice if we’re late.”
“I suppose it’s bad form to upset the king. Especially if he’s about to be your brother-in-law.”
“Very good advice.” He kissed her cheek, then looped his arm through hers, turning them both toward the door. “Advice I would like to ignore.”
“Poor Andres. Forced to behave.”
“We’ll see how long it lasts,” he said. His tone was dry, but it wasn’t as full of humor as his voice often was. There was something strange beneath it. Something she couldn’t identify.
“Do I have to worry about you gnawing on chicken bones?”
He grinned, his expression wicked, and she was forced to admit she might have been imagining the strangeness in his earlier statement. “Possibly. You never can tell.”
They walked down the hall together, staff members bustling to get out of their way as they made their way through the corridors, down to the ballroom. The entire entry to the castle had been transformed. Great boughs of holly and evergreen were draped over banisters, hung over doorways. White lights twinkled on every surface, peeking out from the dark green trees and decorations, giving everything a special glow.
Zara couldn’t remember the last time she had celebrated Christmas like this. Couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen a Christmas tree until this week. They did not celebrate in the same fashion in the clan. It wasn’t part of the traditions. They had celebrated at the palace, and all of this was like a vague, foggy fantasy come to brilliant, glittering life before her eyes.
“It’s magical.”
She looked back at Andres, who looked as though he was suppressing laughter. “I’m very glad you like it.”
“It’s my first Christmas party in...ever. My parents used to throw them at the palace in Tirimia. But I wasn’t invited because I was too young.”
“Well, you aren’t too young now.”
“No.”
“Let’s go inside. Wait until you see the ballroom.”
He led her inside, and she couldn’t help responding to his enthusiasm. As if she needed any encouragement. The ballroom was stunning, trees stationed every few feet, in a circle around the dance floor, tables situated between. White lights were strung between them, casting a net of stars over the partygoers. It was as if a little snow globe had been captured, enclosed by the ballroom rather than glass and water.
“It’s beautiful. Really beautiful.” She turned and smiled at him. “I think that sounds silly. Like not enough. I’m being obvious, I know. But I don’t know what else to say.”
“That’s how I feel when I try to compliment you.” His dark eyes were serious, and it made her stomach tighten. Made her heart beat faster.
Made her wonder if maybe, just maybe, he loved her too.
Andres moved easily through the crowd, greeting everyone they encountered. They were congratulated by countless people, because while they had not made a formal announcement of the engagement, it was being treated as common knowledge. People of course didn’t know the circumstances surrounding their engagement, but Zara imagined it didn’t really matter now. Not now that their relationship was real.
“Shall we take our seats?” he asked.
Zara nodded, and let him lead her to a table at the far end of the ballroom that allowed those sitting at it to get a view of the entire proceedings. Kairos, Tabitha and a few people Zara had never seen before were already seated there.
Andres leaned in. “Diplomats. Politicians. It will be a very dry table.”
“I think we’ll manage.”
“This will be your life. These kinds of parties. This sort of company.”
She tried to make sense of his words. Tried to figure out if any of it mattered. If she cared one way or the other. “Well, it will have you too. So the rest doesn’t really matter.”
He drew back, frowning. “I wouldn’t count on me being one of the perks, Princess.”
“I’ve spent quite a bit of time with you over the past week. There are a great many perks to you.”
“Perhaps to my body. To what I can do to yours. As a human being I tend to fall short.”
She frowned, matching his. “I’ve yet to see evidence of that.”
He said nothing, rather he continued over to the table, so she followed him. She was irritated with him. It had been a while since he was irritating. Or perhaps, she had simply been insulated by the good things he made her feel. That was entirely possible. He did make her feel some very good things.
She took a seat beside Andres, with Tabitha on her other side. The queen was very quiet, and very purposefully not looking at her husband. Zara had to wonder again if this was her fate, inescapably. It was this relationship, so clearly strained, that had made her nervous at the last meal they’d shared. She had been so convinced recently that she and Andres had something entirely different, but then, there were these moments when he would shut down on her completely, and she wasn’t entirely sure after that.
As with everything else at the party, the meal was lovely. Zara mainly listened to people talk about topics she wasn’t very informed on. Andres seemed to be doing the same. Zara turned to Tabitha. “Did you enjoy dinner?” Probably a silly question to ask the queen, who very likely had planned the menu. But she was hopeless at talking to women. She had not had very many friends in her life, Andres was the closest thing, and he wasn’t a woman. Far from it.