A Castle of Sand(31)

Sitting there that afternoon, my mind was torn between the constant ache in my chest over how I felt for Derek and how anxious I was over Ashley’s predicament. Seeing her turn triggered memories of my childhood that I long since buried, memories that I wished could’ve remained buried. After Ashley’s turning, it haunted both my dreams and my every waking moment.
The fever raged for more days than my nine-year-old self could remember. I kept tossing and turning on my bed, calling for Mommy, but she didn’t come like I wanted her to. I couldn’t remember anything that happened before the fever. Only Daddy was there to make sure I was alright. I hated looking at him, because he had the saddest eyes whenever he looked at me. It felt like I did something wrong, but I didn’t know what it was. When I woke up one night, my entire body was so hot, my skin felt like it was about to burn up, I found Daddy crying, his face buried in his palms as he sobbed. I wanted to complain about how hot I felt, but I felt too sorry for him. That’s when I realized that something bad happened. I wished that I knew what it was.
Seeing Daddy cry, I couldn’t fight back the tears myself. Every part of my body hurt, but not as much as the pain I felt inside as I wondered what could’ve made my wonderful father cry. I tried to hold it back, but I could no longer stifle a sob. Daddy heard it and he looked at me.
“Hey, baby…” he whispered, his voice hoarse and dry. “How are you doing? Why are you crying?” He walked up to me and touched my forehead. He withdrew his hand in surprise. A bad word came out of his mouth. I never heard him talk that way before. “You’re burning up, Sofia.”
He looked angry. It made me feel bad that my body was so hot. I couldn’t understand what was going on. I was in so much pain, with no idea how to let him know, so I just let the sobs rack my small body.
“Hush…” he whispered in an attempt to comfort me, but he too was in pain I could tell. After I recovered from the fever, I realized why Daddy was so sad. Mommy was gone. Daddy told me that she went off to another home, where they could take care of people like her—people who’d gone crazy.
When Daddy left me with the Hudsons, I cried myself to sleep for weeks. Only Ben saw me crying.
“Why do you cry every night?” he asked me once.
I heaved a sigh and stared into the distance. “My mommy went crazy. Do you think my daddy left me because he thinks it’s my fault?”
Ben stared at me for a few moments, his blue eyes wide and thoughtful as he tried to comprehend what I had just said. In response, he shrugged and squirted his water gun at me.
At that memory of Ben, I couldn’t help but smile. He always did have a way of making heavy situations feel a lot lighter than they were. I looked around me and held back tears as I realized how much The Shade had changed him—how much it changed me.
“What’s with the weird half-smile, half-frown expression on your face?”
I looked up to find Gavin leaning against my doorpost, arms crossed over his chest. His tousled red hair and the boyish smirk on his face were enough to lift my spirits.
I smiled. “I just remembered my best friend…Ben. The memory of him makes me both happy and sad at the same time.”
Gavin’s brows rose in surprise as he strode toward me. He then plopped himself on the couch beside me. “Wow. So there were actually other men in Sofia Claremont’s life before the great Derek Novak.”
“Just Ben.”
“He must be quite a guy to compete with the likes of the prince.”
He tried to compete. He failed miserably. My smile was bittersweet. “I miss him.” Or at least the version of him before The Shade destroyed him.
“Does Derek know that? I might have to report you for dreaming about other men while he’s so enamored by you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Much as I love the banter, Gavin, what exactly are you doing here?”
“You’ve been in The Catacombs for more than three days. I’d given you all the time to rest and adjust. It’s time to get your ass to work. Contrary to Derek’s opinion, you’re no princess of The Shade.” He paused and raised his brows as he gave his last statement some thought. “At least not yet.”
Gavin saw the frown in my face before I could conceal it. “What? Don’t tell me that you thought you’d be sitting pretty here all night long…everyone in The Catacombs works. You have to earn your keep, and considering how glorious your keep is, you’d better be good at what you do.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to work. I just…” I heaved a sigh. My stay in The Catacombs wasn’t exactly one that received a warm welcome. I’d already made attempts to make friends with some of the Naturals, but though they were all polite and treated me with respect, I couldn’t help but sense their resentment. “The idea of having to face the Naturals…”