Declan shook his head, clearing his thoughts. The jokes. God, he missed the jokes. No wonder his mind remembered that night. It was a good night in a time when there weren’t that many. He emptied his glass and poured himself another that he downed in one gulp. There was something his mind didn’t want him to think about, and he wasn’t about to push himself. He had another long day tomorrow, and it was time for bed.
Chapter 4
The next week was so packed with clients that he had to not only work late, but also work the weekend. He didn’t even have a chance to think about Megan until he finally stopped to look at his week and saw her name on the schedule for that day. He felt the slow creep of a blush spread up his neck. What am I? In high school? Since when do I blush? She was a patient, someone in need of his help, and yet all he was thinking about was her full lips. Especially since she was clearly terrified of getting close to someone thanks to the horrible trauma she suffered. What is wrong with me?
By the time he heard the soft knock before Megan poked in her head, he had composed himself and was back in therapist mode.
“Ah, Megan, please come in and sit down.” He spoke as if she were a guest in his home. He did it with all his patients. He didn’t like the stigma that therapists got. He wasn’t just someone who listened, made notes, and judged. He liked to engage; he liked to have his patients feel like they were just casually venting to a friend. That way they would allow themselves to open up more, and Declan could get to the bottom of things faster and with the patient remaining at ease. After all, that was his goal, to help people feel better prepared to face the world as soon as possible.
Megan smiled slightly at his behavior before sitting on the couch next to the chair he was seated in. “Thank you, Mr. Connors.”
“Forgetting my first name already? And here I thought we had something special,” he tried to joke. It worked since he saw the faint outline of a dimple. Hmm, dimples, nice, he briefly noted before pushing that thought down.
“Thank you, Declan,” Megan repeated, a shy smile touching her lips.
“Thanks for coming back,” he said. “I guess that says something about me, huh?” He laughed.
“I guess so,” she answered a bit shyly. Okay, so she was not opposed to banter, that was good. It must be just physical contact.
“I thought about what you said last week,” Declan started. He had thought about her reasons for wanting to be in a relationship, or rather the ability to be in one. They were valid, but deep down, he had a feeling it ran deeper.
“Oh?” she inquired.
“Yep.”
“That’s it?” she asked, her eyes scanning his.
“Oh, did you want me to elaborate?”
“Well, that would be nice,” she remarked dryly.
Declan laughed. “You hold your own pretty well.” She nodded as if confirming his observation. “You might be onto something about your reasons for being in a relationship.”
“Might?” she interrupted and raised her eyebrow. She looked adorable; he couldn’t help the errant thought that escaped.
“Well, I think we should discuss it more, but it’s a good start.”
“A good start?” she asked mockingly. “Declan, I’ve been stuck inside myself for quite a while with plenty of time to think about and figure out what my problem is. I may not be able to fix it myself, but I know what I need. I know what caused this and the side effects that plague me. I’m broken. I’m not trying to hide that. I’ve made some great strides myself. I wasn’t able to talk comfortably with anyone, let alone a guy. I wasn’t able to touch a guy, even if it was after talking myself into doing it; when it came time to touch a man, shake his hand, anything, I couldn’t bring myself to actually do it. I can do those things now; see, living proof.” She pointed her finger back and forth between the two of them. “But it’s a far cry from where I need to be, where I want to be.”
“I’m not saying you don’t need help. But Megan, you are only twenty-three, why do you want a serious relationship? You have time to experience these things.”
“It’s not the relationship that I care about so much as the ability to have one.”
“You clearly have no issues speaking with a guy. And you are very attractive. I don’t see you really having a problem going on a few dates here and there. And maybe, after being comfortable enough with a guy you know well, you might be able to take things to the next level with him.”
“You sound like you don’t really want me to be here.”
“No, on the contrary. I don’t want to just listen and have you tell me your problems. I want you to explain them to me so that not only do I get them, but maybe I can ask the right question to get you to think of things in a different way.”