“I bet you were a cheerleader in high school, right? Miss Popular,” James asked. Declan felt Megan stiffen beside him. Something James had said touched a nerve. Declan wanted to ask her about it, both as a therapist and as a friend, but he knew this wasn’t the time or the place. He placed his hand on the small of her back in hopes of comforting her, and he actually felt her relax under his touch.
“Nope, not me. My teenage years were a bit rough, but that’s in the past now.” It wasn’t; Declan knew that. But he knew Megan wasn’t going to share that with his friends, and she shouldn’t have to. He was about to say something to steer the attention from her when Megan spoke up herself. “So, how do you all know each other?” He was proud of her. She was hanging out with three new people. And not just any people, but guys specifically. And very intimidating guys, at that. She was holding her own and even deflecting from what could potentially be an awkward situation. Damn, maybe Megan didn’t really need his help after all. Maybe she just needed a push. Well, that was even better then. Soon, she would be good to go, all on her own. Deep down, Declan didn’t like that. He wanted to be there for her in all the situations she found herself, being her rock. What the hell am I thinking? This was not good, not good at all.
He barely heard James answer that they were in the military together as his mind was spinning with the realization that he had feelings for Megan. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Not good. Not fucking good.
“You were in the military?” Megan asked Declan.
“Uh, yeah. Got out about two years ago, pretty much the same time as all these guys. We left together.”
“Wow, that’s wow. I’m, I, I don’t even know what to say. Thank you.” Her words were so sincere.
“Thank you?” he asked. He had gotten that a lot since he served, but his mind was still reeling and he couldn’t process her words.
“Yes, thank you. Thanks to all of you, actually, for serving this country.”
“I’d serve for you any day,” Marshall responded, and that got a smile from just about everyone. Declan smiled too, but his wasn’t so natural. The awe on Megan’s face when she learned his was a military man damn near broke his heart. Can he continue being her therapist? He had to. They were making progress. And he wasn’t going to jeopardize her wellbeing because he was stupid enough to care about her. Hell, maybe that was a good thing. It was more incentive for him to do his best.
The rest of the night was a slight blur, but it went great, from what his mind could process. Megan joked and laughed with his friends, and they even watched a few ball games on the big screens behind them. He learned that Megan knew a thing or two about football, which just impressed the hell out of him even more.
When he dropped her off at the car, she turned to open her door and then stopped. She swung around to face him and then leaned in and hugged him. She was tentative and so was he, but his reaction was from surprise. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her scent.
“Today was great. I had an amazing time, and your friends are awesome. I felt so comfortable with them. Thank you, Declan, really.”
“Dec.” He smiled.
“Fine, thank you, Dec.” She giggled.
“I’m glad you had fun. No need to thank me. I do need to warn you that now that they know you exist, I might not be able to shield you from them. It looks like you’ll have to join me again next time,” he joked.
“Oh, the horror. Well, I guess I’ll have to endure for your sake. You know, so they don’t give you a hard time.” She laughed. And then she got serious, pulling away and looking him in the eyes. “I don’t know what it is about you, but I feel like a different person around you. Like I can actually let go and be free. I really appreciate everything you’ve been doing.”
“My pleasure, Meg. My pleasure.” And it really was. He watched her drive away and secretly thanked the gods that he had canceled tomorrow’s appointment with her. He needed time away from her to calm his nerves. He could be a friend to her and nothing more. He could do it; he would do it.
*****
It took everything Declan had not to spend every moment thinking about Megan. He visited his parents, decided he needed to work on his lawn, fixed some things around the house, and hung out with his friends. Pretty much anything to keep him distracted. So, when it was time for Megan’s appointment the following week, he couldn’t decide whether he was happy or stressed. He definitely wasn’t sad—no, he couldn’t be sad when he was around her. But happy was a stretch since it was starting to feel like torture. God, she was so beautiful, it hurt. And that sweet smile that she seemed to bring out more and more around him. Damn, he needed to calm down.