He was suddenly devoid of all the emotion that had been bleeding from him just hours before. "I can't. I shouldn't have come here. This was a mistake."
My stomach plummeted. My heart sank. But the one thing I felt above all else was white-hot fury. He was not going to do this to me again.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I seethed, jumping from the bed and snatching my robe off the back of my bedroom door, using the thin silky fabric as a shield around myself.
His movements were jerky as he yanked his arms through the sleeves of his shirt and pulled it over his head, leaving his hair in disarray.
"I can't do this anymore, Lilly," he sighed, his large frame slumping in defeat. "I can't be the man you deserve. I don't have it in me to give what you want. If you'd have just been happy with the way things were-"
"Oh, I know you're not blaming me right now," I cut in, crossing my arms over my chest in order to hold myself together.
He grabbed the back of his neck and turned away from me. "No, I'm not blaming you. This all just got so … goddamned complicated! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, Lilly. I keep hurting you no matter how hard I try not to."
"Then stop doing it!" I cried, blinking rapidly against the tears that wanted to fall.
"It's not that easy," he stated with a heavy frown.
"Yes, Quinn. It is. I know what happened tonight was intense and scary," I said, pointing toward the bed where he'd made love to me only a handful of hours before. "It was the same for me. But I saw it in your eyes. You felt the difference just like I did."
He held my gaze, his lips in a firm, hard line. He couldn't argue, he knew I was right. I closed the gap between us, balling his sweater in my fists. "I love you," I whispered.
"Stop."
"And I know you love me, too. But you're too fucking terrified to admit it." I continued when I got nothing but more silence. "But if you'd just let me help, let me be here for you, you'd see how great this could be."
His fingers wrapped around my wrists, pulling my hands away as he took a step back. "You deserve someone better than me."
"I deserve to be with to be with the man I love!" I fought back.
He broke eye contact and studied the ground at his feet for several seconds before saying, "Look, I'm sorry-"
I lost my mind. "Stop saying that!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Jesus Christ, Quinn! Do you get off on ripping me apart? Is that what this is? Some sick fucking fantasy where you see how many pieces you can cut from me before there's nothing left?"
"Of course not!"
I ran my fingers through my hair and balled it in my fists. I was teetering dangerously close to the edge of insanity, and it was all his fault. He just kept hurting me over and over. And I kept fucking letting him!
"So this is it." It wasn't a question. I didn't need to ask. Despite what my actions would lead most people to believe, I wasn't stupid, I knew what he was doing. "You're just going to walk away, again."
His expression grew devastated as he whispered, "I wish it could be different."
I laughed without an ounce of humor. "And I wish I wasn't in love with such a coward. Looks like neither of us gets what we want."
I stood stiff as a board as he picked up his socks and shoes, tucking them under his arm before giving me one last brief glimpse before he turned for the bedroom door. But I couldn't leave it like that. I had one last thing to say.
"I hope your misery keeps you warm at night." He paused as I continued. "Because I'm so done with this shit. You walk out that door, you don't look back. I won't be your doormat anymore, Quinn. If you'd rather be a pathetic shell of a man for the rest of your life, have at it. I'm done letting you walk all over me."
His head dropped down, and his shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. "I'm so sorry."
It was too late. I didn't care. "So am I, more than you could possibly know. I'm sorry I ever opened my heart to you. Now get the fuck out."
The echo of my front door opening and closing put the final nail in the coffin that was our relationship.
I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. I spent the next several hours curled up on my couch, staring out the window at nothing. And as the sun finally began to rise over my sleepy mountain town, I picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts.
As soon as Eliza's groggy voice came through the line, I broke down into tears. Once I was finally able to speak again, I gave her the whole truth about every depressing, heartbreaking thing that had been going on in my life, pouring out every single detail of my time with Quinn. I sobbed, I cussed, I yelled. And she listened to everything I had to say, once again, giving me exactly what I needed.