"Crying," she whispered, and although she still wore a smile, I could see the sadness had returned. "Yeah. You kind of caught me on a bad day."
Suddenly I was aware of what I must have been putting my loved ones through, because even though I knew it wasn't fair, I wanted to push her to talk about whatever was bothering her. Instead, I ignored that curious niggling in my gut and said, "You know, I might not be as good a listener as you are, but if you ever need to talk … "
"Thanks," she smiled. "It's okay. I'm okay. I just got some bad news the day before." She stopped long enough to inhale deeply before she continued. "My dad's sick. Cancer. I found out about it the day before."
"Christ," I hissed. "Lilly, I'm so sorry."
"It's all right. I was struggling with how to cope, you know? I couldn't imagine … " Her voice cracked and her throat moved as she swallowed. "I still can't imagine not having him, and knowing he's going to die … it really fucking sucks." When she let out a self-deprecating laugh, it took everything I had not to jump across the table and wrap my arms around her. I'd never felt more out of my element with a person before, yet, at the same time, I could relate to her better than most.
"I went down to the studio before it opened and put on the music and just … escaped for a little while. I've always used dancing as a way to escape. When I was little, I had trouble in school. I'm dyslexic and it took a while for the doctors to be able to diagnose it. I know it's not really a big deal, but when you're in elementary school and have trouble reading, well, let's just say the kids can be real assholes.
"My mom enrolled me in dance classes and I discovered that when I was moving, when the music was playing, all the mean things those kids said about me just … disappeared. It was my escape, to this day it still is. So, to answer your question, that's why I never wanted to pursue something like New York. It might sound weird, but what I do now, when I dance, even when I teach my kids, it's all for me. If I tried to join a company, everything I did would be for them. Doing what I do now, I don't have to answer to anybody. I don't have to worry about the routines becoming monotonous. I get to leave my head for a while and not worry about the outcome. Does that make any sense?"
I hardly recognized my voice, the sound rougher, almost jagged as I said, "It makes perfect sense." I had no clue what was coming over me, why I was reacting the way I was, but I couldn't stand to see that heartache in her eyes any longer. Standing from my place on the floor, I held my hand out to her. "Come on. I want to watch you dance."
"What? Now?" she asked incredulously. "You want to watch me dance right now?"
I gave a casual shrug and let my lips curl up in a grin. "Why not? You got other plans at the moment?"
"Well … no, but-"
"Perfect, so nothing's stopping you." She didn't seem convinced, and for reasons beyond my comprehension, I wanted nothing more than to see this gorgeous woman dance. So, I pushed.
"Come escape with me for a little while."
Lilly
"COME ESCAPE WITH me for a little while."
He couldn't have possibly known how much those words meant to me just then. After finally opening up and telling someone about my father, the need for an escape was beyond intoxicating.
And Quinn realizing that and giving me exactly what I needed meant the world to me. I couldn't have denied his request, even if I wanted to.
Taking his hand, I let him pull me off the floor. Once I had my feet firmly beneath me, he broke the connection, shoving his hands in the pockets of his faded jeans. My skin still tingled from the contact, and my heart squeezed at the loss of it, but I pushed forward, heading to the door that led to the internal stairs, grabbing my keys and phone off the counter on the way.
"This is really convenient," Quinn spoke up from behind me as we headed down the stairs. "No commute, no having to worry about traffic."
I looked back at him and smiled as I flipped the switch that would light the lobby area and moved to the main studio door to unlock it. "It's pretty great. The place used to be smaller when Chloe lived in it. She had the apartment built when she opened the bakery, but when they expanded and I decided to open a dance school, they gutted the place and made it stretch over both businesses. I love the apartment, but I have to admit, I'd like a house one day."