I didn't need to ask again as one strong thrust sent him deep into me. My back arched, his breathing hitched, and my hips rolled up to feel him move within me. When he started to gently rock into my desperate core, I couldn't hold in my groan. I needed him to thrust relentlessly until I found the release I craved so badly.
"Please, Richard."
"If I don't take this slow, darling, it will be over in minutes."
"That's okay, just please!" Without ever exactly saying what I wanted, I received it. His pace quickened and I felt all control leaving my mind and body. My pleasure built as Richard rocked harder and suddenly it was all too much and I let go. An intense orgasm ripped through my body, as Richard followed. That was the moment when I believed that this was the path I was meant for now.
Peace, assurance, and the strength to move on settled into my bones. Richard was my future and now I could enjoy the idea, not fear it.
"I love you," I breathed out, as my heart beat against my chest.
"And I love you, my beautiful bride-to-be."
We sealed our love with a kiss as I let that moment symbolize the turning point deep within my aching hurt. For the first time since the day I met Stefan, I was free of the power he always held over me.
As the weeks passed everything seemed to fall into an easy, natural flow.
Richard and I kept up the calendar, making time for each other, even if it was just an hour of the day. My time at the salon was no longer a maybe thing either. Each day I was there, staying from open to close most days and truly making up the time the others picked up my slack. Kacie, Kari, Tyler and the other stylists loved that we were all able to spend our shifts together. While none of them knew the actual reasons for my absence, they could all sense the change. Everything was back to normal and most days it felt like the last few stressful, emotional weeks had never happened.
Every once and a while a single thing would remind me that despite my attempts to move forward, there was still an ache in my heart that wondered about Stefan. Almost immediately though, I pushed the feeling aside and lived in the moment, refusing to let myself slip back into things I couldn't change.
Since the night of our goodbye, Stefan hadn't reached out a single time. The flower deliveries stopped, no texts came in and never did anyone arrive to repair something of mine that Stefan wanted to have fixed. Especially in the beginning I couldn't resist looking over my shoulder, expecting him to show up out of the blue. Every day that passed I expected to see him just a little less than the day before. After two and a half weeks had passed I could hardly believe any of it had been real.
Life moved on and Stefan's brief appearance after six years became nothing but a memory, a dream, really. No one mentioned his name and every magazine in the salon that featured his picture had been removed. It was almost as if he never existed anywhere, and was nothing more than a figment of my imagination. Dwelling on the past had done nothing but keep me from living the life I had worked so hard to have.
Letting go of Stefan meant letting go of all that reminded me of him. As much as I loved Amy, that meant cancelling all appointments with her as well. In all honesty, I went to her because she had been the only person to know us both that I could honestly talk to about life. Leaving her was much more difficult than I ever anticipated, but I knew it needed to happen.
Loneliness and longing tugged at my heart for all the memories that once consumed me, but I refused to cave in. My heart couldn't handle the constant indecision and I needed to honor the promise I made to an incredibly wonderful man.
The sun rose every morning and darkness came each night and my life carried on without Stefan. A piece of my heart would always have love for him, but it no longer consumed every breath I took. Moving forward was a part of life and that was finally what I was doing.
With my heart free to love without guilt, the wedding plans were finally taking priority. Flipping through the countless bridal catalogs for the past few months had done nothing to prepare me for just how much went into planning a wedding. A stop at the bookstore resulted in me purchasing a wedding planning guide, and a dozen other self-help type books.
Once I knew the basics of what I needed to achieve, the phone calls started. Caterers, venues, photographers, florists, the list was endless and almost immediately I pulled my mother on board. Leeann Desmond flew into super mom mode and took up the reins of wedding planner. She was a beast at negotiating, and getting discounts that were almost unheard of for every single thing. It was a relief having her assistance but every day at least a dozen texts came in that were filled with new tasks that required my immediate attention.