Finally, she did.
"I'm a mess," she said.
"You're allowed to be," I whispered. "I'm so sorry."
"I didn't want to be here for this," Ava said.
"Come here," I said.
I walked her to a little side patio and got her to take a seat. She had makeup running down her cheeks. I knew she was safe here because inside the house was going to be hectic and eventually they'd have to take Bethany out.
"I didn't want to see it," Ava said.
"I know, I know," I said. "But she was with you. You could take some kind of com-"
"Ava, there you are," a voice said.
I looked and saw Axel lumbering toward us.
"Axel," I said.
"Not now," he growled at me. He looked at Ava. "What the hell are you doing out here?"
"I didn't want to see that," Ava said. "That was unfair."
"Fair?" Axel snapped. "I've been here for how long? You came three times. That was it. You left her!"
I swallowed hard.
"Fuck yourself, Andrew," Ava said.
"Don't you ever call me that," Axel said. "That was our piece of shit father's name. You saw what he did to all of us. That woman in there tried her best for us."
"She didn't give a shit to leave him!" Ava said, crying. "We were left to fend for ourselves. She played it like nothing was happening!"
"Cut that shit," Axel said. "Give her a second now, Ava. She just died."
"Maybe I don't care," Ava said. She wiped her eyes. "Maybe it's all numb to me."
I suddenly had a vision that I was Ava. Weeping over my own mother's death. Feeling that pain but not enough of it. I had no idea what the entire story was here …
"You're being a selfish bitch," Axel said.
"Eat shit, Axel."
He took a step. There was violence in his eyes.
I stepped in and got between them. "Axel, just give us a second. I'm so sorry."
"And where the fuck were you?" Axel spat right in my face. "You were supposed to be saving her. You and that bitch out front shoved her to the grave. The two of you did it."
I felt like someone squeezed my throat shut. I gasped and couldn't breathe.
"Fuck this," Axel said. "I'm out of here." He ran a hand through his hair. His eyes welled up. "Fuck all of this."
He stormed away and a few seconds later I heard the rumble of a motorcycle.
I took a step and Ava grabbed my wrist. "Don't. Let him cool off."
I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I looked down at Ava.
"I'm sorry you saw that," she said. "We always disagreed on our parents. It's not that I didn't love her … "
"I lost my mother, too," I blurted out. "She and my father tried to control me and I finally had enough and left. I still don't know how I feel."
Ava nodded.
She started to cry again.
I started to cry with her.
I managed to get myself cleaned up by the time River appeared. He left his truck running and ran after me, scooping me up. His hands grabbed my face as he kissed me over and over.
"Fuck, darlin'," he said.
"River, Axel took off," I said. "He's so angry."
River looked at Ava, then at me. "Where did he go?"
"I have no idea," I said. "He's hurting bad."
"Little Mikey's," River whispered.
"The bar?" I asked.
"Makes sense," Ava said.
"Let's go then," I said.
"No. You go." Ava wiped her eyes again. "I'm going home. I've seen enough."
"What about … "
But I bit my tongue. It wasn't my business. I could see the pain in Ava's eyes. What had happened when they were younger was still bothering her. I could only hope that she would find some kind of peace.
"We have to get him," River said. "Get him cornered and get him to calm the hell down a little. If he goes deep in a bottle he won't stop. I've seen it a few times over his ex."
I opened my mouth to tell River what Axel had said to me but I held back. It wasn't about me. It was about Axel. Trying to get him to a safe place so he could grieve.
River had my car parked in the yard and said to just leave it. Before I knew it, he was opening the passenger door of his truck and pushing me inside. I didn't want to come back to the house for my car and see it quiet and empty. Because that's what it would be soon enough. Ava gone. All the medical personnel gone. Bethany gone. Maybe the only thing lingering would be her spirit, if you believed in that kind of stuff.