A Boy I Used to Love(59)

When I saw the six-six monster of a man standing in the kitchen, I froze. His arms were covered in tattoos and he looked something out of a motorcycle gang.

I sucked in a breath and hated myself for judging the guy.

He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm the new hospice care nurse here. For your mother. You must Andrew."

"And you're Lacey," he said.

"Excuse me?"

"I've seen your picture before," he said.

"I'm sorry I don't … "

The giant of a man started to laugh. He offered his hand for me to shake and I took it.

"How do you know … "

"My mother named me Andrew," he said. "But everyone calls me Axel. And one of my closest friends is River."



It took everything out of me not to fall over.

River?

Axel?

My jaw was dropped.

"I work at St. Skin," Axel said. "And wow, you're the real Lacey."

I started to shake my head.

"How is she today?" he asked me.

I couldn't speak.

"Right," he said. "I'll go check on her. You catch your breath."

Axel walked out of the kitchen. I grabbed for the counter and turned to face it. I started to breathe heavily. What was happening? How was this happening? How small of a world did I live in? I should have gone east. South. North. I was too close.

Unless …  fate …

"No," I whispered.

I had a job to do here.

I collected myself and moved from the kitchen.

Axel was lumbering from the hallway through the living room.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

"She seems as good as could be," I said. "I'm very sorry for what you're both going through."

Axel swallowed hard. "You know, you're the first person to say that. That it's both of us."

"I understand the situation," I said. "I've been through this many times. I can promise you I'll do everything to make her happy and comfortable."

"Lacey," Axel said again. "Interesting."

I ignored him. "She kept asking about fixing the toilet."

Axel laughed again. "That toilet hasn't been broken in at least ten years. I fixed it after my father died. He always took care of that shit. I guess that's her first memory of me after the old man kicked it. Hey, I need a smoke. Why don't we go out and have a little chat, you and I." 

"I should stay in here," I said.

"No. Lacey, I have some questions. And I have some things to say."

I checked on Bethany and she was napping. I really could leave anytime I wanted since Axel was there. I marked down all the paperwork that needed to be done for Bethany and I stepped out to the front porch.

I caught Axel at the tail end of his cigarette. He tossed it into the front yard and turned to face me. He was as big as River. He looked older than River, though. He was going through some really rough stuff and that went beyond his mother preparing to pass on.

"So, you're the one," he said to me.

"The one what?"

"Don't play games. River keeps to himself for the most part. I've tried to cut that guy open for a long time. But I know one thing about him …  he loves you. Nothing matters as much as you do. Not a chance in the world with that one."

"I'm supposed to be here talking to you about your mother."

"There's nothing you can do," Axel said. "She's going. Half the time she thinks I'm her brother. The other half she spends terrified my old man is going to come home and smack her."

I gasped. "Wow."

"He was a prick. Not worried about him, though. He's gone. You're not. River isn't. Don't live that life, Lacey. Don't let regret take away anything good."

"A man of wisdom, huh?" I asked.

"I've been through a lot. I've seen River and what he does to himself. Forcing himself into some relationship and then, right on cue, he breaks up with her. And then he always leaves for one day. The same damn day."

To go to our spot to meet up.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"Because he's hurting. And you look the same as he does. So, whatever you two got between each other, get it out of the way, Lacey. He's never going to get over you. You're never going to get over him."

"Does he know your real name is Andrew?" I asked with a grin.

"No. And I'd appreciate if you could keep that our secret."

"I think I can do that."

"I'm not messing around. I don't know what happened to him when he came to St. Skin, but he was in rough shape. But he came back to life through his work. Now? He's not the River I know. He's lost. I don't know whether you need to settle up the past or what, but you both need it. Don't waste time in regret." Axel stepped toward me. He towered over me. "And I'm going to be blunt about this shit, too. That woman in there? The dying one? She lived a life of regret. Letting my old man control her in a way that broke my heart. And I never want to see that happen to anyone I care about. So, if you and River think there's anything there, you two better start fucking talking this out. I don't know anything about your past with him. But I know this. The past …  it's the damn present, Lacey. It's real."