"Can I admit something crazy while I'm drunk?"
"Of course."
"Part of the reason I took off," I began.
"Okay. What is it?"
"The ring."
"The engagement ring?"
"Yeah. Not only was it the one I dreamed about and told him about a long time ago … I probably would have said yes to him right there on the spot. That's how much he means."
"Wow," Karen said.
"Wow is right. And I wasted it. I ran away. He probably hates me."
"Why don't you call him?"
"I don't have his number. I only know he works at St. Skin, the tattoo shop. He became a tattoo artist, something that doesn't shock me. He used to draw things … " I smiled. "And he would get picked on for it … "
"Okay, Lacey," Karen said. "You need to put your head on the pillow. You need to sleep."
"I need him," I whispered. "I need to see him. Talk to him. I need to fix everything. Ten years of everything. I need him to know I never loved anyone but him. I need to know if he loves me still."
Karen gently eased me down to the pillow. She pulled the covers up to my chest. Then she kissed my forehead.
"Rest, Lacey," she whispered. "Let me see what I can do."
My lips kept moving, but there was no sound. Just silent whispers about River. I was so lost in myself and my thoughts, I didn't think about what Karen had just said to me.
Let me see what I can do.
River
PRESENT DAY
My phone kept vibrating over and over and over and over. I finally opened my eyes and grabbed for the nightstand. It was a text message from Axel. He was at my door.
Wait, what?
I sat up and threw the covers off me. I looked to my left and did a double-take, forgetting that I had invited Ana over for dinner. In reality, that meant ordering takeout, sipping some whiskey, and enjoying each other's company for hours. There wasn't an inch on her body I hadn't kissed, and there wasn't a second of it all that I didn't regret.
Because it should have been someone else.
It should have been Lacey.
I snuck out of my own bedroom and through the apartment.
I heard someone knocking on the door.
"I'm coming," I yelled.
I flinched, not wanting to wake up Ana.
I had to somehow get her out of the apartment without any weird feelings.
I opened the door, and Axel stood there, waving his cell phone at me. "Two seconds away from giving your shit up."
"What are you doing here, man? It's one in the morning."
"I'm a vampire," Axel said, and he opened his mouth wide.
"You're drunk."
"I don't drink and drive, asshole. I wish I was drunk. But some chick decided to blow up my phone. Looking for you."
"What?"
"The bar over outside Bansler's," Axel said. "I like to skip around here and there, you know? Keep things real. I'm like you, River. I have my days and moments when things weigh on me."
"You're here because some woman is looking for me?"
"Does the name Karen mean anything to you?"
"Karen? No. I don't know a Karen."
"She's pretty serious about talking to you, man."
"Why didn't you just give her my number?"
"I didn't want to give it out like that," Axel said. "Wasn't sure if it was some crazy ex or something."
"How'd she get your number?"
"Fucking web site shit," Axel said. "Just wait until Tate corners you and makes you set up a social media life."
"Fuck that noise," I said. "This Karen, did she say what she wanted?"
"She just needed to talk to you."
"And you seriously came all the way to my place for that?" I asked. "You text me how many times? You couldn't just send a message and leave it at that?"
Axel grinned. "Okay, you got me there, man. You've been going through some dark shit lately. I didn't want to add to that pile without being here with you. Just in case."
"In case what?" I asked. "Get to the point, Axel. It's fucking late."
"Karen tracked me down to look for you," he said to me. "It's about Lacey."
"What?"
I felt like I had just been injected with the strongest coffee in the world.
"Yeah. Lacey. I guess they're friends. Lacey is at her place. She's looking for you."
"Lacey is looking for me?" I asked. "That doesn't make … "
"That's what I was told. Lacey's the one that got away, huh?"