A Boy I Used to Love(24)

Before I knew what I was doing, I had thrown the car into reverse.

In the big open woods, I felt like there was no air to breathe.

My car crept backward as I stared at River. A quick look of hurt and confusion swept across his face.

I shut my eyes for only a second, but in that second, I lost all sense of direction.

I opened my eyes, hit the gas pedal, and looked around. I was flying back, and I cut the wheel to turn the car. I hit the dirt, bounced over some rocks, my body instantly panicked. I looked over my right shoulder and tried to straighten the wheel, but it was too late. There was a big tree that looked hardly an inch away. I slammed on the brakes, cut the wheel to the other side, and felt the car skid and stop with a thud.

No, I hadn't hit the tree.

I'd lost my back left tire to a small ditch off the dirt road.

I put the car into drive and hit the gas pedal. The car tried to move forward, but I was stuck. The tires spun and pulled but there was no getting the back tire out of the ditch.

I looked forward and saw River walking to the end of the gravel driveway. He stood there and stared at me.

How stupid did I look then?

Waiting ten years to see him, then freaking out and trying to escape.

I released my grip on the wheel and showed my hands like I was busted criminal. I shrugged my shoulders.

River started to walk toward me again.

If the day couldn't get any more overwhelming …

I burst into tears.



Just like that, River was back in my life. He opened the door to my car and offered his hand silently. I took it, tears running down my cheeks. I got out of the car and wanted to jump into his arms. I wanted him to lift me up and hold me. Carry me away from everything.

Instead, I just stood there, looking up at him. He was still holding my hand.

"Lacey," he said. "You came. Finally."

He didn't ask about the tears. He didn't make me feel stupid for crying. Because that's not what he did. He never made me feel stupid or guilty or worried. He never tore into me over anything.

Yet I had just tried to run from him.

"River," I said. "Holy shit. River."

He laughed. His smile was addicting. The only time I could say he looked cute. He slowly reached up and wiped away a few stray tears off my face.

"You got yourself there," he said.

"I know. I fucked up."

"No, you didn't fuck anything up, Lacey."

"I don't know why … " I shook my head. "River, I didn't think you'd actually be here. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for anything," he said. "You came. I'm here. It's what we talked about, right?"

"I just … I don't know what to do next."

"The good news is that nobody travels this back road. So your car is fine the way it is."

"It's stuck."

"I can get you out of there, okay? But before that, come for a walk with me."

I just stared at him, feeling lost and in awe. This felt like the first time I'd met him. Through all the people in the world, it was his eyes that were locked to mine. His command over me.

We walked to the big rock.

Just seeing it there was enough to give me butterflies. Memories flooded through my heart and my mind. The nights. The stars. The warm whiskey. The warmer kisses.

I looked at River and felt a warmth spread through my body.

Ten years. Ten full years.

"This is where we said," he said to me. "This spot right here. Right?"

"Yeah." I pointed behind River. "Is that cabin yours?"




       
         
       
        
"No," he said. "A friend built it. He doesn't use it that much. I have a key to the place. I come up and check on things. Check on him."

"You've been here more than just today?" I asked.

River put a hand to the rock and grinned. "Ten years, darling. What have you been doing for ten years?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Nothing that seems important now."

"Hey. Anything you do is important, Lacey. You know that. Nothing matters but going forward from here on out, okay? We did it. We made it through whatever we had to to get to this moment. That has to mean something, right?"

"I'm sorry I tried to drive away," I said. "I panicked, River."

"Why?"

"I didn't think you'd be here," I said. "You were always living so fast. I figured you'd be doing something amazing by now."

River grinned. He reached for my hand and took it. How could ten years feel so long yet the simple touch of his hand to mine make it feel like it had only been a week since I'd seen him last?

"I'm a tattoo artist," he said. "I work a little ways from here in Hundred Falls Valley. A shop called St. Skin."