I put my hands to the railing and pressed. The old wood cracked a little, giving way but not crumbling. I took a deep breath of the country air and smiled. I knew everything racing through my mind was all dreams.
Truthfully, the only thing I wanted right then was for River to come back. I didn't like when he wasn't working legit at the auto garage. I had heard stories about what happened behind closed doors there. Guys dealing with stolen parts and cars. And then in the junkyards, they had illegal fights. They would bet money on the fights, too. It was a scary way to live, but it was the only way River knew how to live. That's what attracted me to him. He was the dark side, the bad boy that every good girl fantasized about. But with River, he never tried to pull me into it. He brought me close enough to fire, to feel the heat, but I never once got burned.
I loved him for that.
I went back into the house and forced myself to climb into the sleeping bag and shut my eyes. I didn't expect to sleep, but I did. My body was warm and sore. My experience with guys was little to none, so River was everything to me. The biggest. The best. The hardest. The wildest. My body was a little mad at me for what I had let happen, but my heart and mind wanted more.
I could have sworn I had only shut my eyes for a minute when I heard the rumble of a truck.
My eyes popped open, and I jumped up. I grabbed my phone and saw two hours had passed. I really had to get home. I told my parents I was having a girls' night with some friends. Since I wasn't old enough to drink, I couldn't use the excuse of having too much wine and staying somewhere. They were protective of me, and I guess they had every right to be when you considered where I was and who I was with.
I hurried to the window and peeled away the dusty, frayed curtains. I saw River standing in the bed of the truck. He was shaking hands with the other guys in the truck. It was such a weird setup. He never introduced me to those guys. Sometimes he was working just as hard as my parents to protect me. It was really sweet.
I knew better than to go out to the porch until the truck was gone.
So I waited and watched as River jumped from the truck. The vehicle then sped away, and River walked toward the steps with his head down. He touched the left side of his ribs and winced in pain.
I hurried to the door and threw it open.
I met him at the steps. I was on the top step, and he was a few down from me, putting us at eye-level. Only River wasn't looking at me.
"You waited," he said.
"Of course," I said. "Where were you?"
"Working."
"River, look at me."
River slowly lifted his head. I gasped at the sight of his face. His right eye was swollen and purple, even against the pale light of the house. At the corner of his swollen eye was a large cut, blood dried to his cheek. On the opposite side of his face, the corner of his lip was all torn up. He was sweaty and dirty, obviously beaten up.
"How bad?" I whispered.
"I took care of myself," he said. "You should see the other guy."
"You always say that to me. Did you win? Not that it matters. Shit. Sorry."
I shook my head. I hated that I asked that question. I didn't want to glorify what he did to make money.
River reached back and dug into his back pocket. He pulled out a wad of cash and grabbed for my hand, placing the money in it.
"Yours."
"What?"
"You said your car needed tires," River said. "I don't want you living off your parents anymore, darlin'. So they can't hold shit over you."
"River … "
"No. Listen to me. This is important shit. I want to take care of you. I want to provide for you."
"I don't know what to say right now," I said.
"You're going to go get some damn tires for your car," River said. I touched his lip and wiped the blood on his shirt.
"I can't do this," I said. "I mean, I can't take this money. You … worked … "
"I'm fine for money," River said. "This popped up last night. Lance called me and said one of his boys was setting up something. Since I went last week, I was supposed to go, but the payout was going to be great if I did. People were going to bet against me. So I cleaned up good."
"You look like hell."
River laughed. Then he touched my face. "Darlin', wounds heal. You'll never know I was in a fight in a week, maybe two. This one was pretty rough. But the way I feel about you, that's real. That won't heal. We're forever, Lacey. You and me. Do you believe that?"
"I do," I said.