A Blazing Little Christmas(30)
With shaking fingers she swiped impatiently at the wetness coursing down her cheeks but the tears were instantly replaced by a new flood. God, how was it possible to hurt so much? She felt as if her heart were hemorrhaging. “You sound surprised,” she said, her voice trembling and bitter. “Did you think I’d turn cartwheels when you broke our engagement?”
His tissue-laden hand froze halfway to her cheek and he stared. “What are you talking about?”
She snatched the tissues from his hand and scrubbed at her eyes. Her diamond glimmered in the firelight and she squeezed her eyes shut to block out the sight of the ring that had represented all her hopes and dreams.
His hands cupped her wet face. “Jess, look at me. Sweetheart, please…”
A sob caught in her throat. Great. Not only did he not want her anymore, but he was tossing out pity endearments. She opened her eyes and found him staring at her, his confused gaze intent on hers. “You think I’m breaking our engagement?”
She blinked at the incredulous note in his voice. “Are…aren’t you?”
“No! God, no. Never. No.” He peppered kisses all over her wet cheeks. “How could you possibly think that?”
“Uh, I guess because you were saying things like ‘it’s over’ and ‘I’m done.’”
He wrapped one strong arm around her waist and yanked her against him. With his other hand he dabbed at her tears. “I was talking about the wedding. Not us.” He cupped her cheek in his palm and looked deep into her eyes. “Jess…I love you so much. I would never give up on us. Ever.” There was no missing the hurt that flashed in his eyes. “I can’t believe you’d think I would leave you.”
Her relief was so intense she felt light-headed. “I’m sorry. At first I couldn’t believe it. But you were so upset when we overheard my mother, and so serious now with your ‘we need to talk.’” She kissed him, once, hard, then leaned back to glare at him. “You could have made yourself clearer, you know.”
“I thought I was being clear.”
“Yeah—like mud.”
“In my own defense, it never occurred to me you’d think I was dumping you.”
She framed his face between her still-not-quite-steady hands. “As if you could.” She hiked up her chin. “I’m not an easy woman to dump.”
“Sweetheart, it would be impossible. How could I live without my heart?”
Her chin quivered. “Okay, that was a very romantic thing to say.”
“And totally true. Ending our engagement never once crossed my mind.”
“You scared me to death.”
“I’m sorry.” He brushed his mouth over hers. “Sorry I scared you, sorry I made you cry.” He raised his head and searched her eyes. “Forgive me?”
“I suppose.” She sniffled. “But only if you promise never to frighten me like that again.”
“Promise.” A glint of humor flickered in his eyes. “Good to know, though, that you’d have missed me.”
“Ha. I wouldn’t have missed you one bit.”
“Yeah, that’s obvious, Miss Waterworks,” he teased, gently blotting away the last remnants of her tears with the wad of tissues he pried from her fingers.
“I wouldn’t have missed you because I wouldn’t have let you get away. I have silk scarves to tie you up with and I’m not afraid to use them.”
He grinned. “You’ve been reading my letter to Santa again.” Then his expression sobered. “Jess, what I was trying to say about the wedding is that it’s caused nothing but problems, ones that seem to multiply no matter what we do. So let’s not do it.” He cupped her cheek in his hand. “I want to marry you, so I can spend the rest of my life with you. A fancy wedding doesn’t make a damn bit of
difference to me. Saying vows to you does.” Clasping her hands in his, he dropped to one knee in front of her. “Jess, will you marry me? I mean marry me—not have a fancy wedding with me?”
Another batch of tears rushed into her eyes. A half laugh, half cry rushed from her. “Yes. God, yes. Please, yes.” He stood and caught her up in his arms and spun her around until they were both laughing and breathless. And then he kissed her, a deep, passionate kiss that tasted of love and happiness. After he lifted his head, she said, “This is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. I shared a very long and exhausting conversation with my mother, but it did us both a world of good. We cleared the air about a lot of things and after a lot of arguing, tears and finally some laughter, we came to an understanding.”