A wave of sadness, deep and poignant, washed over Phoebe. If only she and Leo had met under other circumstances. No pain and heartache in her past. No devastating illness in his. Just two people sharing a riveting attraction. They could have enjoyed a sexual relationship that might have grown into something more.
Now, they stood apart, when only twenty-four hours ago, give or take, Leo had been turning her world upside down with his lovemaking. Their recent fight echoed in her mind. She had accused Leo of not wanting to change, but wasn’t she just as cowardly? She had gone from one extreme to the other. Workaholic to hermit. Such a radical swing couldn’t be considered balance at all.
In the faces of the crowd tonight, she saw more than the bonhomie of the season. She saw a kinship, a trust that came from working side by side. That was what she had given up, and she realized that she missed it. She missed all of it. The hard challenges, the silly celebrations, the satisfaction of a job well done.
So lost in her thoughts was she, that she jumped when Leo took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. Again, as at her cabin, firelight painted his features. His eyes were dark, unfathomable. “I have a proposition for you, Phoebe, so hear me out before you say anything.”
Her hands tightened on her wrap. “Very well.” A tiny piece of gravel had found its way into her shoe. And she couldn’t feel her toes. But not even a blizzard could have made her walk away.
He released her as though he couldn’t speak freely when they were touching. She thought she understood. Passion had flared so hot and so quickly between them when they first met, its veracity was suspect given the length of their acquaintance.
“First of all,” he said quietly, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the heart attack. It was an ego thing. I didn’t want you to think less of me.”
“But I…” She bit her lip and stopped, determined to listen as he had requested.
He ran a hand across the back of his neck. “I was angry and bitter and confused when I met you. I’d spent a week at the hospital, a week here at Luc’s, and then to top it all, they exiled me to Tennessee.”
“Tennessee is a very nice state,” she felt bound to point out.
A tiny smile flickered across his lips. “It’s a lovely state, but that’s not the point. I looked at you and saw a desirable woman. You had your hang-ups. We all do. But I didn’t want you to look too closely at mine. I wanted you to see me as a strong, capable man.”
“And I did.”
“But you have to admit the truth, Phoebe. Last night in my office. You stared at me and saw something else.” The defeat in his voice made her ill with regret.
“You don’t understand,” she said, willing him to hear her with an open mind. “I was upset, yes. It terrified me that you had been in such a dangerous situation. And I was angry that you didn’t trust me enough to share that with me. But it never changed the way I saw you. If you felt that, then you were wrong.”
He paced in silence for several long minutes. She wondered if he believed her. Finally, he stopped and lifted a hand to bat away the snowflakes that were increasing in size and frequency. “We jumped too far ahead,” he said. “I want to say things to you that are too soon, too serious.”
Her heart sank, because she knew he was right. “So that’s it?” she asked bleakly. “We just chalk this up to bad timing and walk away?”
“Is that what you want?” He stood there…proud, tall and so alone her heart broke for him.