Something she seemed to be doing a lot these days.
Since Jordan had come back into her life, she'd been jumping in all different directions. Behaving like she normally wouldn't. Stepping outside her comfort zone. Agreeing to things that were a huge risk.
Especially to her heart.
If anyone had tried to tell her that on a whim she'd go to an unfamiliar state in an unfamiliar situation with a man who embodied the word dangerous, and jump in bed with him, she'd have told them they'd bonked their head too hard. If anyone had told her she'd do all the naked things she'd done with Jordan-­happily and willingly-­she'd have told them they were a quart low in the gray matter department. If anyone had told her she'd march into the local newspaper office and threaten the proprietor, she would have put them on the waiting list for counseling.
Everything had changed.
It scared her.
And yet, at the same time she felt good. The worst thing had happened. She'd faced it and won. She didn't crumble or cry. She'd stood up to wrong and it felt very right. The only thing that didn't feel right was walking away from Jordan.
She'd told him they'd never fit. But they did. So why was that so hard for her to accept?
How could she go on with her life status quo when she now knew what it felt like to share special moments with him? What it felt like to be in his arms? What it felt like to wake up beside him?
A car pulled up in front of her house and she squeezed her eyes shut. Prayed it would not be him because she needed some time to think. Time to accept that she'd gone down to the newspaper office to stand up for Jordan because she loved him.
She swallowed.
Yes. She was crazy, heart over head in love with a man she had no business loving.
A knock on the door had her peering through the curtains.
Of course it was him.
"Go away," she shouted. "There's nobody home."
"Open the door, Lucy."
"Lucy's not here."
"Open the door or I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your door down. I'm not leaving until I see your face."
"It looks the same as an hour ago."
"Open. The. Door."
She sighed. Went to the door. Opened it a fraction and stuck her face in the opening. "Satisfied?" When she went to close the door he stuck his foot in the way.
She sighed again and backed up to allow the inevitable. As expected, Jordan pushed his way inside.
"I know what you're doing." Eyes sharp and focused, he advanced toward her and forced her to back up into the living room.
Ziggy barked a welcome and Jordan briefly reached down to pet her dog on the head. Kindness in a heated moment. Moments like that totally melted her heart.
"What is it you think I'm doing?" Besides hiding like a coward from the plethora of feelings she'd developed for him.
"You're trying not to care because you think it will keep you safe," he said. "But you walking into that newspaper office and taking on the person who printed that article? You were thinking more of me and my family than you were thinking of yourself."
Emotionally drained, she shrugged like it didn't matter.
"You care, Lucy."
"So sue me." Her chin tilted in a show of defiance.
"Oooh." A grin flashed across his face. "I like it when you're feisty."
"I'm too exhausted to be feisty."
"Really?" The tilt of his head told her he didn't believe her. "So you're too exhausted to fight if I do this?" He pulled her into his arms.
She gave a feeble attempt to push him away, but it felt so good to be in his arms she caved in a blink.
Silly weak woman.
"You can't walk away from this," he said.
"This? What's this? You overpowering me?"
"Baby, you know I'd never do that." He loosened his hold but didn't let her go. "I'm talking about whatever this is developing between us."
"Nothing's developing. You know we don't fit."
He pulled her in tighter to prove her wrong.
"I'm not talking about body parts," she said.
"Neither am I."
"Jordan. You live an exhilarating full-­steam-­ahead life. You know you'd get bored with me. You need to find someone more exciting."
"What if I don't want anyone more exciting?"
Great. He agreed she was as dull as rust.
"Sorry. That didn't come out right." He tucked her head beneath his chin. "I need you, Lucy. I need your calm. Your patience. Your ability to cut through the bullshit and get right to the point."
"A good therapist can do all that."