A Better Man(84)

"People called me a liar. They said I was making up stories just so I could get a big divorce settlement. I didn't want money; I just wanted my life and my dignity back. I didn't want to see my name in the newspapers anymore. It took me a long time before I regained my confidence and could look people in the eye again. I walked away with a suitcase of clothes and a hefty bill from my attorney. But I can tell you that no amount of money I might have received would have made up for what I'd been through."

"Jesus, Lucy. Who was this guy you were married to? Didn't you ever file a police report?"

"Who would have believed me?"

"No one? Not even your mother?"

"My mother and I haven't spoken in years. Her life revolves around cigarettes and a bottle of her poison of choice. If she never came to my defense when I was a kid, how could I ever hope she'd do so now?"

"I'm sorry, Lucy."

"You have enough on your plate, Jordan. You don't need to be worrying about me." She closed her eyes. "Devote your time to your career and your family. They need you."

"What about you?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Then what about what I need?" He clasped her arms. "I need you, Lucy."

"Jordan." She turned her head. When she faced him again there were tears in her eyes. "Please. This is the way it has to be."

Jordan dropped his hands.

Inside he was absolutely ripped apart; devastated that she didn't have enough confidence in him-­in them-­to see things through.

When she leaned in and kissed his cheek his heart shattered in a million pieces.

On Saturday morning Jordan woke up in the bed at his grandfather's cabin in a foul mood. Last night he and Nicole had dropped Lucy off at her house on their way home. After he'd gone inside to check and make sure there were no bogeymen hiding in her closets, he'd wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her good-­bye, but she'd kept enough distance between them to make that impossible. Unless he'd tackled her. Which, as bad as his heart ached, had been a possibility.



       
         
       
        

On the flight home she'd sat at the back of the plane with Nicole, listening to a new song his sister was working on. When the music ended, the two of them put their heads together and chatted about this and that, completely excluding him. He was sure that, once again, he'd be the bad guy. A fact proven when he drove Nicki up to the main house, carried her bag inside, and was given a snippy "Thanks" for his efforts. He didn't know how the hell he kept getting himself in that predicament but apparently all those penalty minutes he'd racked up during the games had leftover karma.

A nasty one at that.

After two strong cups of coffee he wandered over toward the main house to sit down with his brothers and go over the newest details of the missing money and exactly who was going to live in the house with Nicole until she went off to college.

When hopefully she went off to college.

On his way to the house he walked up and down a few rows of vines. The first buds had started to appear and the ground was moist from the early morning rain. He walked up to the event center and went inside. Any signs of the night he'd taken Lucy to the prom had long ago been cleaned up, removed, and delivered back to the high school. But even with everything gone, he could still picture her in that lovely gown, looking up at him as he danced with her in his arms.

Presently there was a full staff decorating tables with blue and purple flowers and peacock feathers for an afternoon wedding reception. A large white tent was being constructed outside to keep the wedding party and guests dry from the light rain that had been predicted for the afternoon.

Usually he never paid attention to things like weddings. For some reason the sight of one being set up on his family property coiled around his heart. The only one of them who had tied the knot or even gotten close had been Ryan. None of them ever thought Laura was the right woman for their oldest brother, and she'd proven them all correct. Still, they'd supported Ryan a hundred percent before the wedding and after she skipped town.

Jordan had never thought much about marriage other than he figured it would eventually happen someday. He'd never gotten the right feeling for or from a woman.

Until Lucy.

It hadn't been even twenty-­four hours and he already missed her so much it ached deep in his chest.

He needed to keep walking. Find something to distract him from fighting the need to go over to her house and kiss some sense into her.

With his hands on his hips he took a good look at the property-­the rolling hills, the creek, the rows upon rows of grapevines, the buildings in need of updating. What he saw was potential. There were so many ways they could make this a destination instead of an afterthought.