“Something like that. Leo, is that what this shit’s about?” he repeated, his patience growing even thinner. “Is a woman the reason you’re acting like a prick?”
Leo pulled another cigarette from the pack on the table and lit it, then tossed the pack to Rafe. “It’s always a woman, isn’t it?”
Rafe lit a cigarette, then nodded as he sucked in, the red burn of the paper beaming like a laser pointer in the dim in the dark room. “I should’ve known. You’re a lot more like my sorry ass than I like to admit.”
Sighing heavily, Leo dropped his half-smoked cigarette into the beer can on the side table. “I don’t know what to fucking do,” he confessed, scrubbing his hands over his face.
“You love her?”
“Hell.” He sighed. “Fuck yeah, I love her. But she deserves a lot better than me.”
“I’ll be the first one to tell you love sucks.”
“She deserves the fuckin’ world, Rafe.” His head rolled back onto his shoulders and the pain that was eating him away from the inside out was one Rafe was all too familiar with. It killed him to see his brother like that. But when it came to the woman you loved, nothing would make that pain subside but her. Nothing.
He inhaled deeply, holding the smoke in his lungs, then slowly released it. “All I know, little brother, is if you want to give her the world, first you’ve gotta find your place in it.”
• • •
Holding a glass of milk in one hand and a plate with a piece of cake in the other, Fallon nudged the back door open and walked out into the backyard, where the guys and Tilly were sitting around a fire pit. She’d been around more fire pits in the last two weekends than she had in her entire life. But with the cold nip of an October night in Pennsylvania, she was grateful for the warmth.
“You get a good catnap?” Sergio asked.
“Yesss,” she said, dragging out the word as she sat down next to Tilly. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
“No sense in apologizing, darlin’. You just make yourself at home here.”
Darlin’. She liked that. Sergio’s genuineness was admirable. He reminded her of a big gray teddy bear. Warm, cuddly. The type of man she imagined good fathers were made from.
She smiled, but it was forced. Sergio was wonderful; they were all wonderful. But it saddened her. Jealousy was an evil, sneaky creature. It latched on at the most unwelcome, unpredictable moments. She was grateful being welcomed by this family. But she was jealous she never had anything like this. She never shared simple moments like this.
Fallon handed Tilly a fork. “I’m counting on you to eat most of this for me. I’ve had two pieces already. I seriously can’t seem to get enough.”
Marco’s brows danced on his forehead. “That’s what they tell me.”
“Oh, shut up,” Tilly spat, forking a large piece of cake.
Luca’s hand was rubbing soft circles on Tilly’s back as she sat snuggled up on his lap. “Where’s Rafe?” he asked after taking a sip of his beer.
Fallon swallowed her bite of cake, then said, “Inside, talking to Leo.”
“Leo?” Marco stood up from his chair. “Fuck, he drunk?”
She blinked up at him. “Yes,” she said warily.
Luca lifted Tilly off his lap and started toward the house with Marco and Sergio not far behind. “Twenty bucks says Leo took the first swing but Rafe knocked his ass out cold.”
“Just get in there,” Sergio ordered as he pushed them through the door.
“Um, did I miss something?” Fallon asked once the guys were inside.
“No.” Tilly laughed, taking another bite of cake. “Rafe and Leo are two of a kind, so they butt heads . . . usually with their fists. But they love each other.”
“I’m noticing Rafe likes to lead with his fists.”
He was a hothead; she’d already witnessed as much. In only a couple of weeks, she’d learned his tics, the subtle signs of his approaching temper. She’d heard his tone change with a single breath, and watched as uncontrollable rage exploded from inside him. She had no doubt that he was a good man—that much she knew. But his warnings, his worry suddenly splintered her thoughts. He was always so worried that she was scared of him, always so concerned with the fear he inflicted.
Should she be worried?
Cutting her eyes to Fallon, Tilly cocked her head, disapproving. It was the first glimpse she had of the woman Fallon expected to meet. The woman who guarded these big, strong men who became giant teddy bears around her. “Yes, he does lead with his fists. But only with good intentions, Fallon.”