And then he’d have to watch the light in her eyes die when she looked at him. Her face would go carefully blank when he entered a room, and her words would become polite and bland until they finally parted ways. He’d seen it before. Watched it happen time and again to those who’d claimed to care for him. He’d been waiting ten years to see that expression on Clara’s face.
And tonight, she’d come close enough to make his heart twist in his chest.
I’ve been alone before.
He could do it again if he had to.
Couldn’t he?
“Walker?”
The soft sound of her voice wrapped around him, banishing the dark thoughts. For a second, he closed his eyes, embracing the tiny respite that her presence offered.
“I think I have him settled.”
Sighing, he turned to see her in the doorway.
The breath froze in his lungs at the sight. Clara stared up at him, her feet bare, her hair messy, with a baby nestled peacefully in her arms. His child. She was cuddling his son, and that knowledge made his chest tighten.
“Is the crib ready?” she asked, shifting her weight in a small rocking motion.
“Yes.” The word scraped against his throat as he pushed it out.
Her gaze drifted off him as she came farther into the room. Avoiding him, she made a beeline for the crib and gently lay the baby down.
“He needs a name,” she said, tucking the child in.
“I don’t know what to call him.”
“No one ever does. Pick one that makes sense to you.”
Name another human being as if it’s nothing.
“I doubt he’ll sleep through the night, but he’s been through a lot, so who knows.”
Again, her eyes didn’t meet his.
“I’m going to claim the guest room for the time being. I took tomorrow off work, which means we can get everything settled and reevaluate what we need to do. All that can wait till the morning. I’m beat.”
She was at the door before he could call her back.
“Clara.” He tried anyway.
She paused, turning back to him. “Yes?”
“I—” The words died on his tongue. How did he explain he knew how badly he’d screwed up in her eyes? Knew she might never forgive him for it?
“Don’t worry about it, Walker,” she said before he could speak. Like a wraith, she slipped from the room.
He stared at the empty doorway, a cold certainty filling him.
He had three weeks to make this right for all of them. And if he couldn’t, it wouldn’t just be his room that felt empty.
It’d be the rest of his life.
Chapter Three
“I’m sorry. It sounded like you just said you wouldn’t be in today because Walker Beckett had a baby.”
Clara ran her hand down her face. “Again, yes. That’s the third time you’ve repeated it, Diane.”
“Walker Beckett.”
“Yes.”
“Had a baby.”
“Yes.”
“Do the scientific journals know about him yet?”
She sighed. “Obviously, there was a woman involved.”
“And just to clarify, the woman wasn’t you, right?”
“This right here? This is why people say you shouldn’t be friends with your boss.”
“I’m sorry. I’m trying to wrap my head around this. I thought it was a hoax when I got your email.”
“Which is why I’m calling. I won’t be in the office today, as you can see, but I’ll have the Barlow article to you by Friday, I promise.”
“I assume you’ll be taking more time as this plays out? We’ve got a great maternity package, but I’m not sure it applies to being the best friend of the actual parent.”
She snorted. “You should really take that up with HR at the next meeting.”
“I’ll see that it makes it on the schedule.” The humor dropped from Diane’s voice. “But seriously, Clara, what have you gotten yourself into?”
“Was I just supposed to leave?”
Diane sighed long and slow before saying, “Yes. This isn’t your family.”
She flinched, old memories of a different time and place flashed through her mind. One where she stood at a window looking in on a smiling family that would never open their arms to her… “I know,” she said, dragging her mind back to the present. “But Walker may as well be. All we have is each other.”
“I hate to point this out, but if there is a baby in his life that isn’t yours, that belief isn’t so justified anymore.”
“I said I’d help him for three weeks,” she said, ignoring how Diane’s words stabbed through her. “After that, things will go back to normal.”
“Clara…”