Clara let out a little laugh, shaking her head. “I’m not sure.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s our last night,” she said with a sigh.
“What does that mean?”
She drew her nail along the wooden edge again. “It means, I promised to live here for a set time before returning to my own life. And tonight, that limit comes due.”
“Ah,” Emily murmured.
“Exactly.”
“And you’re wondering what happens next.”
“Pretty much.” Her shoulders drooped. “Walker is hard to predict sometimes. I’m not sure how fast he wants this to move.”
Because she was all in. She’d move here permanently the second he offered. She’d take on the responsibility of raising Hunter with pleasure. And she’d spend the rest of her life loving both her boys if Walker would give her the chance to.
Or maybe he’d ask her to move out. To go back to her own apartment so they could date at a normal pace and slow things down. After all, his life was still in an upheaval and would be for a long time to come. It was no big deal if he asked her to move out.
But no matter how she sliced it, it felt like a step backward when they’d already wasted so much time tiptoeing around each other.
“I know the solution,” Emily said.
She perked up. “What?”
“Talk to your man.”
The air rushed out of her in a chuckle. “That easy, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Maybe you’re the genius.”
Emily grinned. “I’ve worked with many couples. I’ve seen ones who stay together for the sake of their children and ones who love each other to distraction. Which category do you think you and Walker fall into?”
She blushed. “He’s never told me he loved me. Not in a romantic way, at least.”
“Have you told him?”
No. I can face down drug lords and dirty politicians, but I flinch when it comes to having an honest conversation with the love of my life.
Because what if she found out she wasn’t the love of his?
“It’s never easy, starting a relationship,” Emily said, her voice understanding. “Then again, it’s not like the two of you are starting from scratch. You’re basically an old married couple who just rediscovered the joys of sex.”
She groaned, dropping her head into her hands.
Emily patted her back the way she’d seen her do to Hunter. “My point is, your connection to each other isn’t fresh. It’s deep and binding. I don’t think you need to be afraid of being honest with Walker.”
“No,” she mumbled into her arm. “I shouldn’t be.”
“But matters of the heart aren’t logical, huh?”
“Not even slightly.” She sat up, shaking her head. “This part of adulthood should come with a warning label.”
“Love at your own risk?”
“Something like that.” Dragging a hand down her face, she rolled her shoulders back. “You’re right, though. I need to talk this out with him. One way or another, I want to know where we stand.”
“Good luck.”
She squeezed Emily’s hand. “Just so you know, you’re the best nanny we could have found for Hunter. I’m grateful for the help you’ve given us this last month.”
The other woman gave her a wide smile. “He’s a great little boy. I’m happy to have found this position, too.” Glancing at the clock, she continued, “Though I will also be happy to snuggle into my own bed tonight.”
“Go, go. Don’t let me keep you.”
With a parting wave, the nanny slipped off her chair and headed out.
Clara waited until she heard the door close before heading for the stairs. She needed to have a chat with her lover.
Who happened to be coming down the stairs as she headed up.
He paused, seeing her, before continuing down. “I got Hunter to sleep,” he said softly. “We’re should be free for the next few hours.”
“Good,” she said, backing down the steps.
He joined her on the landing and opened his mouth as if to speak, only to close it again.
“We should talk,” she said.
He nodded and gestured toward the living room. Silently, she followed him to the couch and dropped down beside him. He was close but not touching, and she wrapped her arms around herself in comfort.
“So,” she started. “Our time is up today.”
“I know,” he replied, his voice equally soft. “Thank you for what you’ve done. I would have been lost these last weeks without you.”
“That first day you held Hunter like he was a bomb about to go off.”