The click of the lock behind her might as well have been a death knell.
…
Stress.
He'd kissed her because he was exhausted and stressed out of his mind. It hadn't been jealously. Hadn't been dormant feelings awakening. She'd just been the closest woman present when exhaustion had made him snap.
Clara punched the elevator call button with more force than was necessary. Here she was, spinning her hopes around what turned out to be nothing more than a simple mistake. He didn't feel the way she did. He didn't want her the way she wanted him.
It might have been stress that made him do what he did, but to her it had meant so much more.
I'm a fool to have thought it was the start of anything.
No matter how long she waited, Walker would never be the man she needed. It was time to pull up her big-girl pants and move on.
Stepping into the elevator she concentrated on what mattered. She had a date with a charming man, and he deserved her undivided attention. Much more than her ridiculous roommate did.
She kept that thought front and center on her journey to the restaurant. They'd have a fun evening out and she'd forget about the man she left behind. It'd been far too long since she made time for dating. This would be good for her. Maybe she was only fixating on Walker because of their current situation. Maybe it was just stress for her, too.
That's the answer. Nothing more than that.
When she walked into the Italian restaurant and saw Todd already seated at a table near the door, she forced a smile to her lips.
"Clara," he said, rising to his feet as she approached.
"Hi, Todd," she replied, kissing his cheek in greeting. "It's great to see you again."
He smiled easily, giving him an almost boyish charm. The dark suit he wore fit him well, though at the back of her mind she couldn't help comparing him to another man she'd seen suited up recently. But when Walker reached for a tie, it was usually because there was a problem at his company that required his personal attention. And when that happened, heads tended to roll. Walker in a suit was always a bad sign, even if he cut through the crowd like a shark through water. The easy-going tech guru vanished beneath the expensive trappings of a powerful CEO not to be trifled with.
His intensity was a far cry from the open, welcoming smile on Todd's face.
"You look lovely," he said as she took her seat.
"Thanks. I'm glad we're doing this."
"I almost couldn't believe my ears when Diane told me you'd agreed to come out tonight." He flashed her another smile. "I was hoping you'd accept, even though my schedule made things difficult."
Just wait till you hear about the new changes in my schedule.
"Thanks for the invitation," she said.
"Any time."
His smile was back and she couldn't help thinking it was just a touch bright. Walker tossed her those little half smiles that were little more than a quirk of his lips, and it made her heart beat just a little bit faster.
"Diane tells me you're in the financial sector," she said.
"Yeah. I always had a knack for numbers. Seemed like the logical path to follow."
"Absolutely."
"Everyone in my family is either an accountant or a banker. It was expected that I go into the industry, too."
"Did you ever want to do anything else?"
He shrugged. "Not really."
Walker never followed the expected path. Hell, he'd blazed his own trail for most of the time she'd known him. But it wasn't fair to compare a brilliant entrepreneur to Todd. He liked his lot in life. There was no shame in being …
Normal.
Normal is good for me. Normal won't screw with my head or keep me awake at night replaying a meaningless kiss.
"I've read some of your pieces," he said. "You must also like what you do to write so vividly."
"I do," she agreed. "And Diane is a great boss. I was lucky to end up at the paper."
"She speaks very highly of you."
"How did the two of you become friends?"
Todd launched into the story of how he'd first come to meet Diane, and she tried her hardest to pay attention. She was out with a gorgeous guy, at a well-rated restaurant that smelled amazing, and she planned to enjoy the evening.
Even if she couldn't quite manage to banish the specter of Walker from her mind.
Chapter Eleven
"I'm an idiot. Yes, I am," he said to Hunter.
The baby just gurgled in response.
With a sigh, Walker paced around the first floor, bouncing his son in his arms. "Doing the right thing is about as satisfying as I always suspected it would be. Doing the wrong thing feels so much better."
Better, like pushing Clara up against a wall. Or bending her over the kitchen island. Or best yet, tossing her onto his wide king bed. Despite his best efforts, it's not like he could deny giving her the starring role in a fantasy or two. He could almost see her there, staring up at him with eyes darkened in lust, an inviting smile teasing her lips. He'd crawl over to her, rising above her as she stretched out beneath him. Her fingers would tunnel through his hair as she arched up to bring their lips together …
"Idiot," he said again. He'd sent his best friend off with someone else, and there was nothing he could do about it.
"It's for her own good."
But that truth was poor consolation. He didn't want to be the gentleman who watched from the sidelines. Being the rogue was so much more … satisfying.
She's not for me. Clara wants a happily ever after and deserves to get it. What could I offer other than a topsy-turvy life where babies end up on my doorstep?
But logic was a cold bedfellow.
Especially when it kept him from the one person he truly wanted.
The home phone started to ring, and he crossed the room to grab the receiver.
"Hello."
"Hey, Walker. This is Diane. Is Clara there?"
Setting Hunter down in the playpen, he shook his head. "She's out on her date."
Diane blew out a sigh. "Oh good. She wasn't answering her cell, and I was afraid she was holed up over there avoiding Todd."
If only.
"No, she headed out around seven. Maybe the date's just going too well for her to check her phone." The words burned like acid on his tongue.
"I hope so. She deserves a little happiness."
"Yes," he admitted, dropping onto the sofa. "Yes, she does."
There was a beat of silence before Diane asked, "How about you? You're doing okay with Hunter?"
"We're fine," he replied. "He's been on his best behavior tonight."
"Good, good."
Silence stretched again. "I guess it must not be an easy adjustment. Good thing you have Clara to rely on."
"Yes," he agreed. "I don't know what I'd do without her."
"Have … have you told her that lately?"
"What?"
He heard rustling through the phone, as if Diane was shifting uncomfortably.
"I'm sure she'd like to hear it. I know she sometimes feels like you guys aren't on equal footing. I'm sure it would make her feel great to hear what a help she's been to you."
"Not on equal footing?" he demanded.
"Well, you know the two of you are an odd pairing. That's all I meant."
"What?"
"Come on. The billionaire and the reporter? You're from very different worlds for starters. Who keeps their university friends these days? It's wonderful you two have been able to stay so close."
"Clara feels this way?" Did she feel out of place in his world?
"I just … I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't think I was mentioning anything you two didn't already know."
"I had no idea." But maybe he should have. Perhaps they were already drifting apart without him even noticing.
"Damn. Any chance you avoid telling her this grand revelation came from me?"
A wry smile twisted his lips. "I'll keep it to myself. But just so you know, Clara's the most important person in my life. I've never viewed her as lesser in all the years we've known each other."
Diane stayed silent another minute. "Maybe you should mention that to her, too," she said at last, her voice soft.
He sighed. "I can't," he replied. "I don't have the right."
"I shouldn't be having this conversation."
He ran a hand down his face. "I understand. I'll tell her you called."
But Diane didn't hang up. Staring up at the ceiling, he waited.
"You know what I've always wondered?" she said at last.
"What?"
"Ten years together. Ten years where you have been each other's closest confidants. How did you manage to survive that long with her without ever once considering asking her out?"
The air rushed from his lungs. "Another thing Clara's been wondering?" he asked.
"I don't speak for her," she said, dashing his hopes. "This is all me, Mr. Moneybanks."
"What good would come of asking, Diane? I'm not the right man for her."
"Then you've considered it?"