If all I have is this one chance, I don’t want to spend my life wondering what if.
It’s not like she couldn’t survive a little humiliation if he pulled away from her.
But could I survive losing him if we can’t go back to being friends?
It was a decision she couldn’t make.
Perhaps her indecision showed on her face because the corner of his lips curved, and he started to lower his head toward her.
“Hunter went right to sleep without any fussing.”
They leapt apart as if they’d just touched a live flame. Turning guiltily, she saw Emily standing in the doorway, suddenly looking unsure of her welcome.
“Sorry,” she said. “I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. Please, ignore me and enjoy a few moments together. I know how hard it can be for new parents to find a moment alone.”
Clara groaned, dropping her forehead against Walker’s arm. “I can’t explain it again. Your turn.”
A warm chuckle filled her ears before she felt the brush of his lips against her forehead. “I’ve got this one.”
Moving away from her, he guided Emily toward the living room.
Dropping back onto the island barstool, Clara watched them go.
Only when she was sure she was alone did she reach up and brush her forehead right where she’d felt his lips.
And tried not to think about how it hadn’t been even close to the kiss she’d really wanted.
…
“Forget the paper. You need to turn your life into a blog. It’s better than a soap opera, these days. Really it is.”
Clara sighed. “I knew I should have taken another day off. Rookie mistake.”
“You’d have to come back eventually,” Diane said. “You’ve got that assignment to finish, after all.”
“Which is why I’m here. You’re the one who pulled me into your office to gossip when all I was trying to do was my article.”
“Sounds like those are some poor working conditions. You should complain to your boss.”
“And what would she do about it?”
“Bribe you with chocolate to give me the goods.” Diane reached into a drawer and pulled out a bag of chocolate-covered almonds. “Do I know you or what?”
With a laugh, Clara accepted a few almonds and tossed them into her mouth. She’d been uncertain if she should come in to work today, but now that she was here she knew it was exactly what she needed.
They’d vetted Emily thoroughly the night before, and she’d agreed to start right away on the daytime shift. Between her and Walker, Hunter would be well looked after, giving her the opening she needed to tie up some loose ends at work. She needed to fulfill a few projects and then she’d max out her vacation days and help Walker at home.
It’s not your home.
Her stomach clenched even as she lifted her chin. For the next few weeks, it was as close as she’d get. Last night had certainty felt homey when she taught Walker the joys of changing a baby’s diaper and then helped settle Hunter to sleep in his crib. She hadn’t been able to look away from her friend when he’d gazed down at his son, oblivious to anything else, even her.
For all his talk about not being ready, there’d been no mistaking the caring in his eyes. Conflicted, perhaps, but caring nonetheless. Hunter was a lucky child.
I just hope he’s really Walker’s. She didn’t think her friend could take the cruelty of growing attached to a child who wasn’t really his. And what woman would have done that to him?
Therein lay a question she wasn’t ready to think about. Somewhere out there, Hunter had another parent. It was a truth they’d have to deal with eventually.
But not today. I need to write this article and get back home. That’s all I can handle right now.
“So, you had your little illicit yet adorable moment of teenage uncertainty in the kitchen,” Diane said. “What happened after that?”
“Nothing,” she said.
“Come on. He didn’t try to make another move?”
She shook her head. “We interviewed the nanny, started babyproofing the house, and went to bed.”
Diane opened her mouth but Clara was faster.
“Separate beds. Where we spent the night. Alone.”
Her boss sighed. “What I was thinking would have been a better twist.”
“My life is not your personal video game.”
“Too bad. I’d help you level up way faster.”
“About that Barlow article…” she tried.
“Did you want him to make a move?”
She leaned back in her chair, grabbing a few more almonds. “He’s my best friend.”
“And you don’t want to jeopardize what you have. Blah, blah, boring blah. Did you want to jump his bones, or didn’t you?”