He gritted his teeth against the ache of wanting what he couldn’t have, but he couldn’t stop himself from cupping her soft cheek in his palm.
She breathed out a quiet “oh” and stepped back, her face wary. “I guess I should…get…ready.”
Her words tumbled out, tripping over each other, as she backed away. So unlike the Lana he remembered. She had always been cool and confident. He had never seen her unnerved.
Lana bumped into a chair and froze.
Something moved inside him, triggered by her desperate retreat. Frustration that she no longer trusted him? Wounded pride? Fear he might never heal the rift between them? Anger at her rejection? He didn’t know, and right now he didn’t care. He needed to touch her, reassure her and let her know he only wanted to keep her safe.
He closed the distance between them in three easy strides. Although his mind told him to stop, his body kept going, reaching for her, drawing her in, not slowing down until he held her in his arms. And then he just hung on, wishing he could have made a different decision two years ago.
Lana’s breath hitched, and trepidation carved lines into her face. With a gentle stroke, he swept his hand along her jaw, cradling her face and tilting it back, until their gazes met, locked. Without thinking, he dipped his head and brushed his mouth over her soft, lush lips.
She pulled away.
“Please…James.” Her voice broke and dropped to a pained whisper. “Don’t.”
He froze and silently cursed himself for giving in to his base desires. He’d made his decision two years ago. His circumstances—the past—hadn’t changed. It didn’t work then and it wouldn’t work now. He was just making things worse.
For both of them.
Lana drew James’s hand away from her cheek. He offered no resistance, as startled by her words as she was. When had she ever turned him down? But he was moving too fast and presuming too much. Although she appreciated his concession, she still didn’t trust him. Not by a long shot. Not with her heart.
Still, she didn’t miss his sharp intake of breath, or the way his shoulders tightened when she stepped away.
“We’d better get going.” His voice was cool now, guarded. “The sooner we let everyone know you’re mine, the sooner we can get you out of danger.”
Mine. Her breath caught in her throat and longing squeezed her heart. Her father hadn’t wanted a daughter, particularly one he hadn’t planned, and after her mother had died, he’d wanted her even less. Rejection and a desperate need to be loved had sent her into Levi’s arms. But he wasn’t the savior and protector she’d thought he would be. She had been his possession but she had never had his heart. And he had never had hers.
Oh God. What was she doing? Reality crashed down on her fleeting moment of happiness. Could she really face a biker clubhouse again?
She sank down onto the couch and scrubbed her face with her hands. But nothing could banish the memories—so many hands, so many voices. Struggling, screaming…and the pain. So much pain. Her body chilled and a violent tremor shook her body.
James knelt in front of her and rested his hand lightly on her head. “What’s wrong? Do you not want to go? I won’t hold you to it. In fact I would be relieved if you don’t go. I can deal with the fallout and Rex.”
Lost in the past, she barely registered his words, and when she tried to answer, her throat tightened and she couldn’t speak, much less meet his gaze.
“You’re afraid.” His calm, even voice held no trace of judgment or scorn, just puzzled curiosity.
He brought her hand to his face and pressed his mouth to the sensitive underside of her wrist. Warmth flowed through her veins, beating back the chill of old memories. He’d never seen her afraid because she’d never been afraid around him. James had always made her feel safe. But she’d been too ashamed to tell him about her past when they’d been together. She was too ashamed now.
“You don’t have to worry, babe.” He threaded his fingers through hers and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “If this is what you really want to do, I won’t leave you alone. Not for a minute. You’ll be safe with me.”
Safe. Lana swallowed past the lump in her throat. She hadn’t felt truly safe since the night he’d left. But, of course, he would feel obligated to keep her safe. His unerring sense of duty had been one of the things that had attracted her to him. Like her, he wanted to put things right. But, unlike her, James had a clear path to follow. She’d always envied James the strength and purpose he got from the simple act of doing his duty. So unlike Levi and his flagrant disrespect for the law.