I see he's really fucking laying it on thick—like peanut butter thick—and the crowd is going wild. I mean it. They're really eating this shit up. Especially with the thin margin of victory during the last election, he knows he needs to push this issue not just with his supporters, but with his opponents as well, to cover his ass. I look over at Jocelyn to see if I can detect any hint of emotion from her face, but she's standing stoically, looking ahead, smiling, clapping, and for all outward appearances, playing the part of the Mayor's happy and devoted wife. She looks perfectly put together. I don't fucking blame her. Play the game or get eaten. But she notices that I'm looking at her and she whispers, "We can't keep doing this, Lance."
It's what I don't want to hear. I mean, I know she's right, but I can't seem to bring myself to admit it. Why is it that I want this woman so fucking bad? I can have any woman I want. Why this one?
"I know," I whisper back, but even when I say it, we both look at each other in a way that suggests we only half believe what we're actually saying.
"I'm a married woman; we need to take a break from each other," she continues at a soft whisper.
"But how do you stay with him? I've seen the way he doesn't even look at you at home. It's like you don't exist."
"I owe it to my father to make this marriage work. It goes beyond just Michael and I, you know. Like I said, a lot of people are depending on me. And besides, Michael isn't a bad man. I don't have a terrible life with him."#p#分页标题#e#
"So, you're saying you're happy living in the same house with a man who doesn't love you? A man who refuses to show you the affection you deserve? A man who won't so much as touch you?"
As soon as I say that, I regret it. I know I've struck a sensitive nerve because there's a pained look on her face.
Instead of answering my questions, she says, "You're young, so much younger than I am. What could we possibly have in common, in the grand scheme of it all? And besides, you're my son. Albeit, my stepson, but can't you understand that this is an impossible situation that we've found ourselves in?"
Of course she's right. I fucking know she's right, but it kills me to admit it. I hate it. Instead of responding, I let her words sit in my mind and I look ahead and listen as my stepfather wraps up his speech, driving home his point even further, "Instead of just talking about family values, let's start really valuing those closest to us and make a difference in the generations to come. As your Mayor, I promise to uphold these values both publically and privately, and together, I know we will bring the real meaning of family back to modern families here in New York."
Hearing him say these things is almost unbelievable. I know as soon as he gets home tonight, he won't heed his own advice. He won't so much as look at Jocelyn and I. He'll have the TV on, or disappear into his study. I watch as he waves to his supporters again amid cheers, and then steps away from the podium. Staffers are now making their rounds through the crowded room, handing out handshakes and pats on the shoulders to supporters. I see that my stepdad has his eyes on one staffer in particular, a young, dark-haired man. He must be new because I don't recognize him. He's broad chested with well manicured hair, and he stops him for a quick moment. They are standing a few feet from Jocelyn and I.
"Do you work for UPS or something?" he asks the staffer.
"I'm not sure what you mean, sir?"
"Well, I could've sworn I saw you checking out my package just now," he says in a bold and brazen tone. He's smiling so big that I can see his teeth.
"I see," the staffer says, smiling in parallel when he understands the euphemism. He seems to immediately warm up, "In that case, I just may be the delivery driver you're looking for."
I can hardly believe what I'm seeing and hearing. A minute ago, my stepdad was pointing to Jocelyn and I, talking on and on about family values, and now here he is, hitting on a staffer. Actually, I shouldn't be surprised at all. I mean, I know him all too well, but what's shocking is that he's willing to do this at a public event, and risk making himself look like an ass. I'm trying not to stare. I mean, honestly, if he wants to continue to fuck up his marriage and throw away a woman as gorgeous as Jocelyn, I say let him. I'll gladly fucking step in, but I can tell Jocelyn is hurt. She's hearing this too, and is trying to pretend as if she isn't, but it's pretty fucking obvious as we continue to hear him. It only confirms what I've already told her—Michael is gay.
The staffer extends his arm and ever so slightly brushes his hand against my stepdad's suit. "By the way, I love this suit; it looks great on you, but I must admit, I'm curious to see what it would look like crumpled on the floor of your limo. My name is Kenneth, in case you don't remember… I'm sure you'll be screaming that out later."