When Love Awaits(44)

“Right now he is overcome with remorse for failing you so terribly,” he finished.

She was sickened. Why had she not once tried to force her way in to see him? She might have saved herself and her father so much misery. She might have learned the truth sooner.

“I shall go to him now!”

“No!”

“No?” she cried. “How can you say no?”

“Give the man a chance to regain his self-respect, Leonie,” Rolfe said adamantly. “He will come to you when he is ready. You may be certain he will.”

She glared at him, near tears. “Do not wrap your refusal in noble sentiments! You say no to keep me imprisoned here. Why deny it?”

“Damn me!” Rolfe exploded. He reached her in two strides, taking no notice of his undressed state. “I returned here to tell you all I learned about your father, and found you run off with your lover!”

“He was never my lover!”

“Liar!” His hands bit into her shoulders. “I would not be surprised if you left his note out on purpose so that I could be drawn into his trap. You did know he had men waiting to attack me?”

“I know it now, but I did not know it then. How could I? I had not seen him before that day, I swear it.”

He was so furious, he shook her. “There were two notes!”

“There were three!” she shouted back. “But I paid no attention to the first two. I wanted only to see what Alain was doing here. He was so insistent about seeing me. And why would I leave notes for you to read when you told me you could not read? If anyone is a liar, you are!”

Rolfe sidestepped that issue entirely. “What did he tell you, Leonie?” he asked her darkly.

She wasn’t fooled by the softer tone. “That he wanted to help me, that he thought I was suffering living with you.” She lowered her voice too. “But I don’t think that is really why he drew me out there. I think those men who attacked you were there to assist him with me if I did not agree to go away with him. I think he meant to hold me for ransom.”

She lowered her eyes. That was a mistake, for suddenly she was very much aware of his nudity. Rolfe became aware of it too. He didn’t know whether he ought to believe her, but he desperately wanted to.

When he gathered her into his arms, she was shocked. How could anyone be so changeable? She tried to pull away.

“Rolfe, no!”

He crushed her to him. “Unfair, Leonie. You use my name to weaken me.”

“How can you—”

“How can I not? God help me, I want you. I cannot fight it and I will not try anymore.”

Rolfe didn’t know it, but those words worked magic on her, making her suddenly realize that he did love her—he was just too stubborn to admit it.

In truth, all Leonie had ever wanted from him was his love. Having that, she would give him everything, her heart, her life, her children.

She gave him passion to match his own, and Rolfe was nearly undone by her response. He picked her up and carried her to the large bed she had not been able to sleep in alone. There he made love to her with his hands, his lips, all of his body, showing her with his desire what was in his heart.

And Leonie loved him in return, with no thought for any time but the moment. He was hers, and she let her joy guide her, exalting in having all of him.





Chapter 44




WHEN Leonie awoke the next morning, Rolfe was gone from their room. But as that was his habit, she gave it little thought. So she was shocked later to learn he had returned to his army and was not expected back soon. How could he leave without even speaking to her? Was everything settled between them? She wasn’t sure. She even began to wonder if she had imagined all those wonderful feelings of the night before. Had she only heard in his words what she wanted to hear?

She retired to her room and did not set foot from it for two days. She might have died for all the attention she stirred in the household. Food was left at her door, but that was all. What did it matter to these people that she still felt a stranger here? She felt like an intruder and it was destroying her! She couldn’t live this way, simply could not.

When she did venture forth to ask a servant to order a bath, she discovered that Amelia was still in residence, and still acting the lady of the keep. It was the last blow. She was leaving. Just let Rolfe try and bring her back.

She packed, taking only one trunk so as not to be obvious, and ordered it taken below. That was as far as she got. Sir Evarard had orders to supply her with a fifteen-man escort if she left the keep. The men were not to leave her side until she returned. Evarard was loath to let so many men leave Crewel for anything but an emergency. The garrison was depleted, he informed her, all spare men having gone with Rolfe’s army. He was adamant in his refusal to let her go.

When Leonie found Amelia, she came right to the point. “I am leaving. I shall not be back, no matter the inducement. Does this suit you, Amelia?”

The older woman was too delighted to pretend otherwise. “It suits me very well.”

“So I thought. Then will you help me? Sir Evarard will not release the number of men Rolfe insists I have for escort. He seems kindly disposed toward you. Can you persuade him to change his mind? Tell him I will be gone no more than a few hours.”

“But if the escort are needed here—”

“They will return here once I am safe inside Pershwick,” Leonie assured her.

“Pershwick? But Rolfe will find you there. Can you not leave England instead?”

Leonie sighed disgustedly. “It is not my intention to hide, Amelia. It doesn’t matter if Rolfe finds me, for Pershwick will be closed to him.”

“Oh.” Amelia smiled. This was even better than she had hoped for. For Rolfe’s wife to pit her men against him would sever their relationship for good. He would not want her back after such an action. “You may leave Evarard to me,” she said graciously.

Evarard allowed Leonie to leave Crewel, however much his sour countenance spoke of his reluctance.

The usually short ride to Pershwick took longer because of the baggage wain carrying Leonie’s trunk. And when she arrived it was to find Sir Guibert absent for the day. That was just as well, for he would disapprove, she knew that, and might even try to prevent her. There would be little he could do when he returned to find the deed done and Leonie firmly ensconced in Pershwick.

She herself gave the orders to secure the keep. Her escort might have become suspicious over all the activity, but Leonie kept herself from them and there was nothing they could do when those suspicions were borne out. The major preparations finished, she had them removed from the keep, explaining only that she would not be returning to Crewel, and ordering them to return without her.

Aunt Beatrix was sympathetic. Wilda, on the other hand, showed surprising objections. She was disgusted that Leonie would let Amelia have Rolfe without a fight. Her feelings where Amelia was concerned were quite strong, and she revealed that it was Amelia who had ordered her and Mary whisked out of Crewel. If Amelia could use foul means to get whatever she wanted, why couldn’t Leonie show some of her fighting spirit? Leonie simply kept Wilda busy so that she would not have to listen to her.

She could not do the same with Sir Guibert. When he arrived that evening and was told her plans he was furious. He strode into the hall to find her, glowering as he approached.

“Have you taken leave of your senses?” he demanded without even a nod of greeting. “You would make war against your own husband? I cannot—”

“Not war,” Leonie interrupted. “I just refuse to abide with him any longer.”

“You cannot do that!” Guibert sputtered. “God’s mercy, Leonie, he is your lord now. You are bound to him in every way!”

Truth or not, the saying of it grated on her. She would not give in. But she needed Guibert’s support, so she did something she had never done before. She burst into tears, gauging the effect it had on the man who had been like a father to her. In between heart-rending sobs, she confessed everything to Guibert, sparing nothing, not even that she was carrying her husband’s child—his second child.

But the revelations she made about Amelia were not as shocking to him as she had hoped they would be, for she had forgotten that her situation, though painful, was not unique.

“You are not the first woman who has been asked to raise her husband’s bastards, Leonie,” Guibert scolded gently. In truth, he was shocked at Rolfe’s behavior, and he hurt for Leonie, but coddling would do her no good now.

“If it were only that, I could live with it,” she said. “But my husband will not send this child’s mother away. I have asked him and he refuses. He flaunts her in my home. He gives her responsibilities that are mine by right. I feel like a second wife!”

“You exaggerate, Leonie.”

“I do not! I have told you plainly how it has been. I tried to live with it, Guibert. If—if my feelings were not entangled, perhaps I could. But—”

“You love him?”

“Yes,” she said, sobbing in earnest now. “I fought against loving him, I did. I knew it would cause me only pain. And he expects me to continue sharing him with that woman. I cannot do it anymore. It is killing me, Guibert.”

Guibert sighed. “I do not see what you hope to accomplish by coming here, Leonie. The man has besieged stronger keeps than this and won them.”