Waking the Beast(42)

My parents loved me, but I remember all the times I spent watching them. The way they loved each other, there were times when I really think they forgot I was there. I want a love like that some day. I want to know when my husband looks at me, I am all he can see, all he desires in the entire world. Foolish dreams.

My grandmother tried to help me when I went home with her from the hospital. But even I knew I wasn’t the same. The laughing, carefree girl disappeared the day my parents died, and I can’t seem to want to bring her back. I did my best to behave and be the good girl my grandmother was always telling everyone I was.

I studied and learned, excelling and easily taking the top spot in my class. I didn’t join any clubs or after school activities. Instead, I used the excuse that my grandmother needed me to help her. I’ve lost track of the lies and reasons I told her as to why I came straight home. I’d tell her I had too much homework, but it wasn’t school that kept me in my room all those nights researching.

It was a love that even death couldn’t shake. A love for lions and the legend of the paka watu. I knew my grandmother was afraid for me, and sometimes I wondered if she was afraid of me. She taught me things, about hiding and fighting. She signed me up for a self-defense course and encouraged me to learn how to shoot a gun.

I’m not sure what she feared, or even if that fear was founded. At times she was the sanest woman I knew. And sometimes, she made little sense at all. The only thing I’m sure of anymore is that she loved me. She loved me, and all I could do was think of my parents and hope loving me didn't kill my grandmother too. They said it was a heart attack that took her from me, but sometimes I question that.#p#分页标题#e#

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“This is as far as we go,” Logan said as he pulled the truck to a stop along the dirt path Abby had pointed out.

“We’ll do our best to camouflage it,” Tah said. “How far is the hike from here?”

“About three miles if I remember correctly. I was with Jess last time I was here.”

“Good grief. Was the Professor preparing for the end of the world?” Logan asked.

Tah growled and Abby realized he was picking up on her sadness. She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not sure what he was preparing for.”

“I’m sorry, Abby,” Logan offered with sincerity.

She nodded as she let Tah tug her out of the truck after him.

“Are you okay?” she asked immediately.

He grinned, but she could see the flush of the heat riding his skin and her worry only increased as he nodded. “I’m fine. I think I might be able to keep from pawing all over you until we reach the cabin.”

Logan laughed as he went around the back to start unloading the few supplies they’d picked up. But Abby could see the control Tah was exerting just to hold himself together.

“I’m here whenever you need me,” she whispered softly to him. “Any time. Any place.”

He nodded his head and gave her hand a squeeze before he began looking around. “I’ll grab some downed limbs and stuff to see if we can at least make the truck look like it’s been here for a bit. I won’t go far,” he promised. “Stay close to Logan.”

Abby nodded as she watched him move away.

Logan was pulling supplies out and stacking them on the ground. He was opening backpacks and packing them with the things they’d bought.

“Can I help?”

He glanced up with a smile and went back to packing. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to help carry stuff. I only brought three packs, but with Reno coming in later, it would help if you took one.”

“I can carry a backpack, Logan. I usually don’t go anywhere without mine.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I remember you always lugging it into the bar with you.” He sighed as he stood and shuffled from foot to foot while he looked around.

“Just spit it out,” she finally prompted, but she wasn’t prepared for the anger she saw in Logan’s eyes when he looked at her.

“What happened to him, Abby? What did you do? He was at work fine one night, and then he didn’t show up the next day or the next. Then Reno gets a call that Tah’s on the run and needs help. Tah. On the run. Never thought I’d see the day. Everyone loves Tah. Everyone. Then we show up, and he’s practically jumping out of his skin, making animal sounds that scare the piss out of me and acting like the most possessive man I’ve ever met. Tah’s never been possessive of women. He takes what they offer and moves on. He’s restless that way. I’ve never seen him act the way he does when he’s with you.” He stopped and shook his head, and Abby realized some of the hurt she was feeling at his words must be showing on her face. “I’m sorry. I’m not knocking how he is with you. I want him happy, and you seem to make him happy. I’m just trying to understand what the hell is going on here.”