Clearly, something happened. It seems as though I’m on the outs with Anton and his crew, though I can’t be sure exactly why. I’m sure it’s a bunch of different reasons, from not training Riley the way they want all the way down to the disappearance of that guard.
I don’t have much time left. According to my last message to command, they’re nearly ready to get started, they’re just waiting on more numbers from me.
Unfortunately, they’re not going to get those numbers. I can’t wander around risking my cover anymore. Things are too dangerous. I’m going to have to message them with this update and recommend they make a move as soon as possible.
It’s the only thing that makes any sense. I can’t keep fucking around, putting this off, gathering intel. I can’t keep risking Riley. She wants to be free and I want her to be free, along with all of the women at this compound.
More than that, I’m tired of keeping secrets from her. This feeling that’s been growing inside of me is beginning to take shape and form, and I know what it can finally turn into if I let it. I got a taste of what things can be like between us if she were free, and I don’t want to go back.
But the last thing I should do right now is break character. If anything, I need to lean into my cover. It’s going to be a few days before command can get a team together to take this place down, and I need to make sure that I remain an insider during those critical days. If I get caught and removed from this place, Riley will be in danger.
I don’t want to imagine what they’d do to her. Probably something horrible. They’ll see that she’s not entirely broken, or really, not even close to broken, and they’ll destroy her. Beating, rapes, torture, and more. I can’t even imagine what they’ll do to her.
I’ve gotten glimpses. From the other girls. I’ve seen the things they do, and Riley can’t go through that. Nobody should.
Which is why I’m doing this. I’m doing it to destroy these bastards, once and for all. I just have to hold on.
That night, I bring Riley her dinner as usual, but this time it’s different. During breakfast and lunch, she was lying on the cot facing the wall and ignoring me. But this time, she’s standing up in the corner, arms crossed, and watching me intently.
I shut the door behind me and smirk at her. “So, you’re not ignoring me now?” I ask her.
She nods. “I’m not.”
“Good.” I place the tray down on her cot. “You’re more fun when you’re talking.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to be fun tonight, Logan.”
“Don’t you?” I smirk at her and sit down, crossing my legs, ankle over knee. “Why not?”
“What do you want from me?” she asks. “Why are you doing all of this?”
I cock my head and keep the smile on my face. “You know why, Riley.”
“No, I don’t.” She lets her arms fall and steps toward me, her face suddenly pleading. “You tell me you don’t want to hurt me. You want to save me. You take me outside, but you bring me back into this ...this prison. I don’t understand what you’re doing.”
I take a deep breath and slowly release it. I want to tell her the truth. Hell, she probably deserves to know, and the raid is going to be so soon.
But I still can’t risk it. I need this to go well if I want to save her and all of these women. Things are too precarious right now, and I’m balancing on the razor’s edge. If I tell her, things will probably be okay. But if they aren’t, the results would be catastrophic.
I won’t risk it. As much as it will make us both feel better, I can’t risk it. I can’t be selfish about this.
“Do you know what they do to the other girls here?” I ask her finally.
She shakes her head, watching.
“Torture. Rape. Worse.” I stare at her as I say each word. “I saw one girl get fucked by six guards yesterday. Or at least I think it was six. I didn’t stay to watch, but they were lined up and ready.”
Her face slowly drops into a look of horror as I speak, and I hate myself for what I’m doing, but I need her to play ball. It’s just too important.
“I saw another girl get branded. Another was cut hundreds of times until she eventually bled out. They tossed her corpse into the ocean. Another died of internal bleeding from getting fucked so many times.” I stand up and step toward her, eyes locked on hers. “You think you have it bad, Riley?”
She shakes her head slowly, eyes wide, terror clear on her face.
“I won’t hurt you,” I say to her. “I promised it from the start and I’m saying it again. I won’t hurt you and I won’t let them hurt you. But you have to do as I say if you want me to keep them from you.” I stand directly in front of her and for a second, I want to reach out, grab her, and kiss her as hard as I can. I want to tell her the truth so she understands why I’ve done everything.