Did I do something to displease him? I can’t help but have that thought. I get off my cot and get the tray, but I don’t really feel hungry. I sit back down and pick at the food.
I don’t understand why he wouldn’t come himself. We usually have a little conversation during lunch and it’s my favorite time of day. Maybe something happened to him. Maybe he got in trouble for going so easy on me. I’m sure these guys aren’t supposed to be kind to us. He’s probably supposed to beat me and hit me like all the other girls got beaten.
The more I think about it, the more I realize how different Logan is from the other guards. My experience with them has been pretty limited, but I’ve noticed that they’re angrier, gruffer. They seem more like what I guessed this would be, like they’d hit me at the drop of a hat. They’d kill me in a second if it came to that.
Logan doesn’t seem that way. He’s controlling and dominating but he’s not doing it through force or violence. As much as I hate to admit it, he’s seducing me, and it’s working. I can’t believe that I’m upset that he didn’t show up this afternoon to push my buttons, but here I am, wishing he was standing against the wall and watching me eat. He always has this cocky little smile on his face and at first it drove me crazy. Now, though, I can’t get enough of it. I see that look in my dreams.
I finish lunch and pile the tray in the corner. The rest of the day slowly slides by with no sign of Logan. I’m not sure why or what happened, but he never shows up.
Slowly the sun sinks across the sky. I get tiny glimpses of it through the small window. The light gets longer as the day progresses and I can tell it’s almost dinnertime.
I’m engrossed in my book when I hear the footsteps again. I glance up at the door but I don’t get my hopes up. Logan brings my dinner but he doesn’t normally stay. He probably sent a guard to do this again.
The door opens and I glance up, hope seizing my chest. Logan steps inside and shuts the door behind him, a tray in his hands.
I can’t help myself. A smile breaks across my face as soon as I see him. He grins back at me. “You look happy,” he says.
“Do I?” I say, blushing a little.
“You missed me at lunch.” He places the tray down on the cot next to me.
“No,” I say quickly. “That’s not it.”
“Sure it is.”
“Where were you, anyway?”
He grins. “I knew it.”
“I’m just asking.” I pretend to pick at my food, trying to hide my curiosity.
“I had some important work to do,” he says softly.
“Work for this place?” I ask.
“No,” he says. “Not for this place.”
“What do you do, anyway?”
He pauses and looks at me. I cock my head, wondering what he’s thinking. The cocky smile is gone and he looks like he’s struggling with something.
“I’m a freelancer,” he says finally.
“Is this what you normally do?” I ask him.
“No,” he says. “You’re my first.”
I laugh softly. “You’re my first, too.”
He pauses and suddenly moves away from me. I’m not surprised that I’m the first girl he’s tried to train like this. He seems like he knows what he’s doing, but he’s not bad, he’s not malicious.
“How did you end up here?” I ask him. “You don’t seem ...“ I trail off, not sure how to put it.
“Like I belong?” he finishes.
“Exactly. You’re not rotten like everyone else is.”
He looks at me with this strange longing, but quickly covers it up with a smile. “I’ll tell you one day,” he says. “Hopefully soon.”
“Why not tell me now?”
“I can’t. Not right now.”
I can’t help my curiosity, but I let it drop and go back to eating. He watches me in silence and I can feel a thick tension between the two of us.
Why can’t he tell me how he ended up here? I can’t help but think it’s something bad. Maybe he’s ashamed of it, and doesn’t want me to know. He says I’m his first, and so I can imagine he’s not doing this because he wants to do it. He doesn’t seem like he enjoys it.
Well, not all of it. He seems like he enjoys getting me naked and making me do things. But we both enjoy that. I can’t hold it against him.
“I have a new game for us to play,” he says as I finish my meal. “Do you want to know what it is?”
“Yes,” I say, feeling a thrill spike through me.
“Good,” he says, smiling. “I think you’ll like this game. Because the prize is something you want.”