The Outcast Dead(46)

They are silent for a few more minutes. The sea is as calm and still as glass.

If you didnt think it was Cathbad, says Judy, who did you think it was?

Darren looks away, his voice muffled. I thought it was Dave Clough.

Clough? Now its Judys turn to sound astonished. You thought I was in love with Clough?

Well, you seemed so close. You were always working late with him. And hes always been really interested in Michael. And Michaels dark, like him.

Cloughs a friend, says Judy, no more. She reflects that even a few days ago she would have hesitated before calling Clough a friend.

So, says Darren, turning to look at her. She knows that his face at this moment will haunt her for the rest of her days. Do you want to live with Cathbad?

Im sorry, says Judy. If I could forget Cathbad, I would. God knows, Ive tried. Ill always love you, Darren. Youre my best friend. But I cant live without Cathbad. Ive tried and its killing me.

Does he love you? asks Darren.

Yes, says Judy. Yes he does.

What about Michael?

Youll always be his father, says Judy. Cathbad understands that. Hell have two fathers.

Oh my God, Darren turns away, half-laughing, half-crying. What are my parents going to say?

Whats everyone going to say, thinks Judy. Not only the two sets of grandparents but her colleagues, Nelson, Ruth. Theyll all think shes gone mad. But she fixes her eyes on a future with Cathbad and Michael. It is all that has kept her sane over the last few days.

Itll be horrible, she says now. But theyll accept it in the end.

I dont want to worry about what people will think, says Darren quite aggressively, Im not that sort of person.
 
 

 

No, says Judy. Youre not.

Its just  …  He looks at her, his eyes transparent with tears. Ill miss you both so much.

And now Judy cries too. They stand on the pier, holding each other and crying, as the happy families trail past them.





CHAPTER 37


Thanks for having us, Simon says. Its been great.

Weve enjoyed it, says Ruth. And this is no more than the truth. The last week of Simons visit, with the knowledge that Michael is safe, has been really enjoyable. Fun, for want of a better word. They have visited Norwich castle and paid their respects to Boadicea. They have been on a wherry and have caught a train over the beach at Wells. The boys have been body-boarding and horse riding. Kate now knows all the words to Glory Glory Man United (for some reason both Simon and his sons, neither of whom have ever been north of Birmingham, support this team). Simon and Ruth have shared several more bottles of wine. Ruth has told Simon about the Bronze Age and he has tried to teach her about computers.

I wish we could stay longer but I promised Cathy that wed be back today.

It was only yesterday that Simon told Ruth, rather shamefacedly, that he was going back to his wife. Im glad, she had said. Im really glad. You must think Im an idiot, said Simon, looking so like his ten-year-old self that Ruth had almost laughed. Were all idiots, she said, isnt that what its all about?

The holiday in Norfolk has apparently shown Simon that he needs to change himself before he changes his life. Hes going to get another job, learn Spanish, go on a creative-writing course. Ruth wonders what Cathy will make of it all. Shes all for it, Simon said. Shes going to do an Open University degree. Ruth wishes them all the luck in the world but she cant help hoping that her sister-in-law doesnt turn up at one of her summer schools.

Bye Kate, says Simon, kissing her. See you soon.

Claras coming, Kate informs him. The boys are pulling monkey faces from inside the car.

Whos Clara?

My babysitter. Shes coming tonight.

Going out on the razz as soon as we leave, eh? Simon might be a much improved version but he still sometimes says things like out on the razz.

Im going to a ruined church to exhume a body, says Ruth.



Judy and Cathbad are also on their way to the church. Michael is with Darren  –  one of his two fathers. The last week has been hellish. Darren moved in with his parents, who were at first fairly understanding, attributing Judys behaviour to delayed shock about Michaels abduction. Now, as their daughter-in-laws resolve to end the marriage shows no sign of weakening, Judy is sure that their tolerance is wearing thin and she doesnt blame them. God knows what theyll say when she moves in with Cathbad. Judy and Darren are agreed that they want to sell the house in Castle Rising. For her part Judy never wants to set foot in the place again. It will always be associated with those nightmare days of Michaels absence, watching endless television and waiting for the Grim Reaper to knock on the door.

Cathbad says that hell sell the caravan and buy a house. Hes got some money saved, he says. Judy cant really imagine Cathbad owning a house but she goes along with the suggestion is the same dream-like way that she has been acquiescing with everything recently. Are you sure youre OK? said Nelson, when she explained the situation to him. You seem in a bit of a trance. Not that I blame you, mind. Nelson had been kind. He had even (looking acutely uncomfortable) suggested counselling. Youve been through a lot. It might help. You think counselling would stop me being in love with Cathbad? asked Judy. Nelson had smiled, though Judy thought he had looked rather sad. Theres a limit to what counselling can manage, hed said.

In fact Cathbad and Judy have seen very little of each other since Michaels return. This gives the evenings expedition a rather holiday-like air. Our first date, said Cathbad, and its to an exhumation. Something to tell the grandkids. Judy ponders these words as she takes the road for Saxlingham Thorpe (she might love Cathbad but she doesnt trust his driving). Its funny to think of them being on a date. She and Cathbad seem to have been through heaven and hell without ever having done any of the bits in-between. They have never had a meal in a restaurant, been to the cinema or shared a holiday. They have a child, though, and as Judy parks by the Mill Inn she thinks about the other implications of Cathbads remark. Grandchildren? Does he mean Michaels children or the descendants of the hypothetical children still to come? The thought that they might have more children together makes her suddenly feel dizzy with emotion. As they get out of the car and walk towards the wood, she reaches out and holds Cathbads hand.



Exhumations are usually done at night says Kevin Davies, a local undertaker (and acquaintance of Nelsons). Its to show respect, you see. Nelson says its more about avoiding unnecessary publicity. But when Ruth mentioned this tradition to Martin, the new director, he had been wild with enthusiasm. The moonlight, the abandoned church, ruined walls rising out of the shadows, it would all make perfect television.

The Women Who Kill episode has survived the arrest of its director, but only just. Corinna walked out as soon as the facts were known. I cant stand cruelty to children. Im funny that way. Martin, as assistant director, had a series of crisis meetings with the producers and the television company but, in the end, it was decided to continue with the programme. Now Martin is in the process of re-shooting all the early scenes with Frank as the main presenter. Much to her embarrassment, Ruth has also been given a much enlarged role. She thinks cynically that the extra publicity wont hurt the ratings.

Now Martin is getting ready to shoot the midnight dig. There was a lot of discussion about whether to allow the TV crew to film the exhumation. Eventually Nelson gave the go-ahead, subject to a few conditions: Martin mustnt film the bones themselves and the footage must be given to the police for approval. As Ruth approaches she sees that the cameras have already been set up. The space between the crumbling arches already seems full of people. As well as the film crew there is Irish Ted, whos going to do the actual digging, several other members of the field team and, standing hand in hand, Cathbad and Judy. Next to them is an elderly man wearing a clerical collar. And with a lurch of the heart, Ruth sees Frank talking to Dex the cameraman.

Cathbad waves and Ruth makes her way over to him. Cathbad introduces the clergyman as Father Tom Douglas. Father Toms just going to say a few prayers over the body.

Ruth doesnt question why Cathbad has decided to bring along a priest  –  or a vicar, whichever he is. Its typical of Cathbad to introduce an element of mysticism but not, Ruth acknowledges, entirely inappropriate.

If we find a body, she says.

Ted starts to trowel. The last two days have been wet and the earth crumbles easily. A yellow moon appears fitfully from behind the clouds and somewhere nearby an owl hoots.
 
 

 

Bloody hell. That scared the hell out of me, says Ted cheerfully.

Cathbad has identified Saint Rowan as the statue with a faint tracery of leaves around its brow. Ruth has found the same adornment on the head of the figure in the medallion. Saint Rowan holding a child. Why did Jemima Green have such a fondness for this particular saint? Was it because of the statue here, in the ruins of her parish church? Did someone tell her that Saint Rowan would protect the dead children, like Jemimas little sisters who are also (they assume) buried in his shadow?

Cut! shouts Martin. Can I have a close-up of Teds face?

Fame at last, says Ted.

Its ironic, thinks Ruth, watching an assistant holding a light-meter next to Teds gleaming bald head, the programme is now the one that Dani always wanted to make. Frank will sift the evidence and come to a considered historians conclusion. There will be no melodrama and no hook-handed monster. Even so, this scene, with the silhouetted figures digging in the shadows of the old church, will add a Gothic touch to the proceedings. Ruth wouldnt put it past Martin to add spooky sound effects either. And Carmina Burana in the background  …  I think weve got something, says Ted. Over to you, Ruth.