Twisted Pride (The Camorra Chronicles Book 3)(47)

I stared up at the ceiling in my room. It was already late, and I needed to choose a dress, get ready, and help Mom, but I couldn’t move. For the last two hours I lay motionless, except for my shallow breathing.

I’d got my period the last week of August. It was the end of October now. My fingers traced my belly, terrified, immobilized.

Slowly, I got out of bed and perched on its edge for a long time, letting a horrible realization fill my bones. Two months since my last period. Closing my eyes, I swallowed. I’d never taken the pill during my time with Remo, and he had never used protection, wanting to claim me without that barrier between us. I stared up at the ceiling, praying that it wasn’t true. It would be the end of all my hopes, of everything.

I swallowed again. A knock sounded. “Fina, are you awake?”

Samuel. It was already late and what he was really asking was if I was okay. I wasn’t. I should be getting ready, should play my part, be strong for appearance’s sake.

“Come in,” I said.

He opened the door and stepped in, already dressed in dark pants and a royal blue dress shirt. His eyes took in my rumpled state. He moved toward me and crouched down in front of me. “What’s wrong?”

I considered keeping my suspicion to myself, but it was a truth I wouldn’t be able to hide from them. If it really was true ...

I met his gaze. “I think I’m pregnant.”

Samuel froze, eyes widening in shock. “You mean ...” He swallowed, staring at my flat stomach. His expression twisted with anger, sadness and worse ... disgust.

Disgust, because this was Remo’s baby. He leaned his forehead against my thigh and released a shuddering breath.

“I will kill him. I swear it. One day I’m going to kill Remo Falcone in the cruelest way possible.”

I touched his head. “Can you ... can you get Mom? I need a pregnancy test. I need to know for sure.”

Samuel straightened and stood. With a last glance at me, he left. I couldn’t move. If I was pregnant with Remo’s child ... I couldn’t even finish the thought. I didn’t want to, not yet, not before I had certainty.

A few minutes later, Mom stepped in, her face pale. We looked at each other before she walked toward me and touched my cheek. “Whatever happens, we’ll get through this, Fina. We will get through this.”

“I know,” I said. “Can you get a test for me?”

“I will ask Valentina. Maybe she’s got a spare test. She and Dante are trying for another child.”

Mom dropped her hand and left the room. I stood, taking a deep breath. Maybe there was another explanation, but deep down I knew the truth.

Mom returned with a test. I took it from her with shaking hands. “Can you leave me alone? I’ll come downstairs once I’m ready.”

Mom hesitated but then she kissed my cheek. I watched the closed door for a while before I forced myself to get up from the bed and move to the bathroom. My heart beat in my throat when I unpackaged the test.

Fifteen minutes later I stared down at the test in my hands, at the truth that shattered the last shred of hope I’d held. Hope that I could ever find my way back into the Outfit. Hope that I could forget Remo. As if there was a way I could have ever forgotten him. I stared at the two lines on the test.

Pregnant.

With Remo Falcone’s child.

A man of unparalleled cruelty and mercilessness.

The man who’d robbed me of my innocence, of my future ... of my heart.

Body and soul.

I own you.

Oh, Remo, if you knew what you gave away ...

I set the test down and touched my stomach. It seemed unreal, impossible.

Pregnant.

My heart was a war-torn land: two conflicting emotions battling for dominance, leaving nothing but devastation in their wake. Unbridled happiness that a small human was growing inside of me. A small part of Remo that would always remain with me. And raw fear of the future, of my—of our future. Our world was cruel to women who got pregnant out of wedlock; it was even crueler to children born out of wedlock.

Damned to be called bastards. A child of Remo Falcone couldn’t hope for a kinder name. I’d protect my child, but I wouldn’t always be there to fend off the attacks. It would be strong enough to defend itself, no doubt, but the idea that my baby would have to grow strong out of necessity, because the world forced it into a corner, made me furious. I tried to calm my raging emotions. I was getting ahead of myself. I came from a good family, maybe things would be different for my child, no matter who their father was.

Taking a deep breath, I headed downstairs. My family was gathered in the dining room, and when I entered they all fell silent. Mom. Dad. Valentina. Dante. Samuel. Dante’s kids. Anna, Leonas, my sister Sofia. The room was already decorated for the event, and in the garden a white tent had been set up, which held the dance floor. The caterer would arrive in about two hours, the guests in three. A day of celebration.

Mom motioned at Sofia, Anna, and Leonas. “Out. Go to your rooms for now.” They did, no protests. In passing Sofia gave me a small smile.

I looked at Samuel. He got up, slowly, hesitantly, and our eyes met. His expression fell, turning desperate.

“I’m pregnant.”

Mom covered her mouth with her hand, and Dad closed his eyes. Valentina regarded me with sympathy, and Dante gave a terse nod. No celebrations. No happiness.

Samuel slowly sank back down onto his chair. From hundreds of miles away and not knowing it, Remo had landed another hit.

“It’s still early. We can call the doc and he will get rid of it,” Dad said, face pale and worried when he finally met my gaze.

My stomach tightened and something angry and protective reared its head in my chest. My child.

Mom nodded slowly. “You don’t have to keep it.”

Samuel only looked at me. He knew me. Until recently better than anyone else, but Remo had seen parts of me nobody knew, my darkest parts. “You want to keep it,” he said quietly, uncomprehending.

I touched my stomach. “I will keep this child. I will take care of it and love it and protect it. It’s mine.” And the moment the words left my mouth, I knew it with certainty. This child would be born, and whoever tried to take it from me would see how strong I was.

Silence greeted me. Then Dante nodded once. “It’s your decision.”

“It is,” I said firmly.

Mom got up. It was obvious that she was fighting with herself. I walked up to her because she couldn’t move and touched her shoulders. “We will get through this, right? This baby is innocent. It’s my baby.”

Mom smiled shakily. “You are right, sweetheart.”

Dad got up and touched my cheek. “We will stand by your side.” I could see how much these words cost him. I wasn’t sure if my family could get past the fact that my child was Remo’s child. Would they love it because it was mine or hate it because it was his?





CHAPTER 23





SERAFINA

I sat in front of my vanity and brushed my hair, stroke after stroke, trying to find calm. I could hear the first guests downstairs, could hear laughter and music.

I needed to go down. Taking a deep breath, I stood. I’d chosen a floor-length form-fitting dark blue dress matching the color of Samuel’s shirt. I touched my stomach, still flat, but I knew in a few months I couldn’t wear dresses like this anymore.

Remo’s baby. I closed my eyes. I was happy and sad, terrified and hopeful. What would Remo say if he knew? Would he care at all? I had been a means to an end, a queen in his chess game, and he’d won.

He had let me go as if I was nothing.

I’d heard the rumors of his cage fights. He was back to fighting, back to living his life. I wondered if he’d already moved on to one of the many whores at his disposal? Probably.

I had been stupid.

Sam was right. Remo had twisted my mind so he could control me, and I had let him.

A familiar knock sounded and Samuel stepped in. We hadn’t talked since I’d revealed my pregnancy to my family. It had become obvious that they needed time to let it sink in, time to put on their public masks so our guests wouldn’t find out the truth. Not yet.

He stopped near the door, watching me like I was breaking apart right before his eyes. I turned around myself, showing him my dress. “We match.” I wanted to see his smile, anything but the soul-crushing darkness.

“You are beautiful,” he said, but he didn’t smile. I walked toward him, and as I did his eyes were drawn to my stomach. “Fina, get rid of it.”

I froze. Sam stepped up to me and gripped my arms. “Please, get rid of it. I can’t bear the idea that something belonging to him is growing inside of you.”

“Sam,” I whispered. “This is a baby. It’s innocent. Whatever Remo did, this baby won’t suffer for it.”

Samuel ripped away from me. “But you will! What do you think people will say if you give birth to his spawn? And the thing will remind you of the asshole every fucking day. How will you ever forget if you see the result of Remo’s fucking sins every day?”

I turned away and moved toward the window, clutching the windowsill in an iron grip, trying to hold on to my composure. If I wanted to show up at Dad’s party, I couldn’t lose it now.

Samuel came up behind me and touched my shoulders. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s okay,” I said. I put my hand over Samuel’s. “I need you at my side, Sam. The baby and I ... we both need you. Please.”