Twisted Hearts(16)

I stopped dead a few steps from them.

Dad smiled, but it looked tired. He’d been doing long hours in the restaurants these last few weeks. Since Diego had become a Made Man, Dad could focus on the business, but it didn’t make him work any less. I’d been helping him as much as possible in the summer break, but in two days I had to return to school.

“Angelo mio, come on over. I’ve good news.”

I trudged over to them then sank down in one of the chairs.

Diego’s expression was unreadable, but he was avoiding my eyes.

“Good news?” A flicker of hope burnt in my chest, but instead of kindling it into roaring flames, Dad smothered the last embers with his next words.

“Michelangelo asked for your hand and after talking to his father, I agreed to the bond.”

Diego met my gaze and his expression softened the slightest bit.

I couldn’t say anything. Dad had promised me to someone I didn’t want, someone who wasn’t Savio. I stood abruptly. The chair toppled over with a bang.

Both Dad and Diego looked at me in alarm. I was so mad at both of them. They’d always controlled every aspect of my life and I’d accepted it because it had seemed like a temporary restriction, but this decision would determine my whole life.

I was going to marry Mick.

Not Savio.

I rushed out, my throat constricting painfully. Just away. I needed to get away, but steps rang out behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. A hand clasped my upper arm and I lost it. Whirling around, I lashed out with my arm and smashed my fist against Diego’s mouth. He didn’t manage to dodge the blow fully and his lip burst, spilling blood down his chin and shirt. He shoved me against the wall, making my ears ring. Blood kept dripping out of his mouth with every harsh breath. “Fuck, what was that for? Have you lost your fucking mind?” Anger and confusion simmered in his eyes.

“You and Dad decided who I’m going to marry as if I’m not a person capable of making her own decision. I bet you felt mighty powerful handing me over to your friend Mick like some expensive gift. Did you barter for me? Did you and him joke about what he’d have to do to marry me?”

Diego looked disgusted as if this was so far-fetched he couldn’t even begin to comprehend how I’d ever come up with the idea. “That’s what you think? All my life, I’ve been protecting you, Gemma, and that’s what I’m still trying to do, even if you make it really difficult sometimes.” He wiped the blood from his chin with the back of his hand, only managing to spread it on his cheek and cuff. The sound of shuffling came from the kitchen—

probably Nonna listening in on us.

“Then why did you tell Dad to give me to Mick?”

Diego stepped back. Was that regret on his face? It almost made me want to forgive him. “He was the best option. We are small soldiers. We get by, but that’s it. The Amalfi is eating up too much money.”

Dad should have never rebuilt our second restaurant after it burnt down a few years ago, but he didn’t want to break Nonna’s heart who’d opened both restaurants with Grandpa. “You are working so hard, you’ll be rising in ranks, you know it.”

“Maybe, but right now our family name doesn’t offer much. Men who want you can’t better their position by marrying you. That means all the men who asked for your hand either want you for your body or they have even less to offer than we do. Especially some of the designated Captains who asked for your hand aren’t men you’d want to be married to, they aren’t men I want you to be alone with. Mick’s family is fairly well off and his father is Captain. Even if Mick’s brother is going to inherit the title, he’s still a good choice.”

I shook my head, feeling sick and sad. “So, he was the highest bidder, hmm?”

I pushed past Diego and rushed up the stairs, not stopping until I was in my room and had flung myself on my bed. Then I allowed myself a good long cry.

For some reason, I’d never considered the option that I might not end up at Savio’s side in the end. Whenever I’d imagined my future, my name had been Gemma Falcone with Savio giving me that annoying, arrogant smile. I’d never minded an arranged marriage because it had always been clear that Savio would be the one I’d be promised to. It had always felt like fate, an irrefutable truth.

Today the silly hopes of a stupid girl were crushed. Savio didn’t want me, not in the way I wanted him. He wouldn’t push me out of bed, that was for sure, but he wasn’t willing to invest more than that. I swallowed as a new wave of sobs wracked me. It wasn’t that I’d never imagined how it would be to be close to Savio, to kiss him and run my hands down his body, but it had always only been part of the reason why I wanted to be with him. He was funny, incredibly so. I’d lost count of the times his stupid comments have made me snort-laugh, often when I’d spied on him and Diego, and wasn’t even supposed to listen. Even though he and his brothers weren’t Traditionalists, they lived for their family.

After a while, I quieted down and just lay on my side, staring blankly at my wall. I didn’t even feel like crying anymore. Hollowness crowded my chest. A knock sounded, but I didn’t react. The door creaked and steps rang out before my bed dipped.

“Don’t cry,” Diego said quietly. It was funny how difficult it was for him to see tears on my face when he did so many horrible things in the name of the Camorra.

“I’m not. Not anymore.” I rolled around to face him.

He watched me for a long time. His lower lip was already swelling, but he’d gotten rid of the blood and changed into a clean T-shirt. That he wasn’t angry at me for punching him showed that he did, indeed, feel guilty. “Mick’s all right. He’s decent, and I’ll make sure he treats you right, trust me. With him I can really keep you safe. If you’d been given to some Captain or an Underboss in another city, you would have been at his mercy. I couldn’t allow that. With Mick, you’ll never have to fear violence. You don’t have to be scared.”

“I’m not. I know Mick. He’s nice.” Mick wouldn’t hurt me, I was sure of that, even if I didn’t know him that well, but given how tight Diego, Savio and Mick were, my brother probably knew every one of his dirty deeds.

Diego looked at me with pity in his eyes. I hated that look because it made me feel so stupid and naïve. Of course, that’s exactly what I was, thinking I could change Savio Falcone’s ways. Even if he married one day, it would probably be the daughter of some Underboss. “Savio’s a player, Gemma. He had the chance to ask for your hand. Dad would have given you to him. Every family would have given their daughter to him.”

I nodded. I’d known this for a long time. I’d chosen to ignore facts and stay in my bubble. I only had myself to blame. It was always easier to blame others, though. “But he didn’t ask. I thought…” I couldn’t say what I thought. That there was something between Savio and me, a connection. “I thought he liked me. I thought I caught him looking at me.”

“He likes you all right,” Diego muttered. Again, I caught the undercurrent of anger in his voice when he talked about Savio. “And, of course, he checked you out. Every guy does.” Diego’s mouth pulled into a grimace as if me looking halfway decent was his worst nightmare come true.

I flushed. “I don’t want to marry Mick, or anyone else…”

Diego got up and threw up his hands. “You can’t have Savio, Gemma. Get it out of your head. Why buy a cow if you can have milk for free? That’s his credo, and the world is full of cows willing to throw their milk for free at Savio.”

I wanted Savio to have my milk, but not on his terms, not for free. Of course, that meant he’d never get my milk. Diego sighed. “Forget him. The sooner you get to terms with marrying Mick, the easier it’ll be.”

The problem was my heart belonged to Savio and even just trying to look at Mick like he could be something for me felt like I was cheating on my heart—and somehow Savio. “Easy for you to say. You don’t have to marry someone you don’t want.”

“You really think I’m going to marry for love, Gemma? Grow up. I’ll marry whoever Dad suggests, whoever helps our family improve in rank.”

“You’re such a romantic.”

“I’m being realistic. Dreaming about Prince Charming is for little girls, and you aren’t a little girl anymore. Not to mention that Savio is definitely no Prince Charming. He’s the Big Bad Wolf who wants to eat you.” He snapped his mouth shut and actually flushed. It took me a moment to realize why and then I felt my own cheeks heat.

Diego spared us both the embarrassment and stalked out of the room with a look as if he was going to be sick at any moment.

Less than ten minutes later, another knock sounded.

“Go away. I get it, I’m stupid!” I really couldn’t bear another talk with Diego.

The door opened and Mom peeked inside. Her brows crinkled and worry filled her face when she scanned my eyes. “Oh, Gemma. It’s not as bad as it seems.” She came over to me and stroked my head. “Is Michelangelo really that bad of a choice?”