I thought I could breed her take my child and go, destroying her in the process. The anger that had led me to such a decision had lived in me for well over a year before I’d finally taken her. But now, now that she was here, now that I’d had her, my mind was beginning to revolt.
I returned her to the bed and she didn’t even complain when I tied her down again before leaving. I left through the backdoor at ditching the mask, not wanting to run into any of the rescuers. I’d ran into them that first day the morning after she’d first been missed. A few terse words had sent them packing and as expected they’d done some inquiries about the strange man roaming the woods.
I’d foreseen such a thing happening and had already dropped a word in the ear of a close acquaintance, who’d called into the local sheriff and got the dogs off my back. He’d given them a story, a true story though there was a lot missing. All they needed to know was that I’d suffered a great loss and was here to recuperate.
It must be burning their ass that they couldn’t get near my place, but I’d heard them talking once when I’d hid in the bushes spying on them, and just as I’d hoped, they’d been convinced that she wasn’t there because they’d been close enough to hear her scream if she was.
They had no doubt that she would’ve answered their call had she been that close. Little did they know that she’d tried only to have her mouth stuffed with my cock for her efforts. Neither she nor they knew that the place was soundproof.
8
I tromped through the woods with my dog at my side, lost in thought. It had been some time since I’d let myself think of anything other than revenge. It had fueled my anger and hate and kept the enormity of my loss at bay. But now it seems it was catching up with me.
I stopped with my hand braced against a tree as the world came crashing down on me. I bit into my fist to keep the cry of rage trapped inside. I dropped to my knees there in the brush and let the memories come for the first time since I’d got the news.
I saw their faces again for the first time without brushing them away and felt my heart break all over again. I wanted to scream the word ‘why’ but there was no point. What was done cannot be undone no matter how I might wish it.
I sat back against the rough bark of whatever tree I’d ended up under and let the memories flow. I’d been away on assignment, gathering information against a foreign faction that had infiltrated a very sensitive part of our government.
It’s what I’d been trained to do and something I took great pride in. Most people when they think about wars and soldiers, think only of the men on the battlefield, most of them having no idea that there’s a whole new battle being played out behind the scenes.
That’s where I come in. I have a head for computers and what my superiors call a criminal mind. As such I was able to think like the men and women I hunt down. Most of my work is done from an eight by eight room with my trusty computer and my wits, but when I’m called upon to go out in the field, I’m more than well equipped to handle whatever comes my way.
I’d been in the middle of a job, things were finally coming to a head when I got the call. My wife and son had been in an accident. My son was gone but my wife was hanging on, though it didn’t look good. She’d lost the child she was carrying, eight months.
We’d already picked out names and made the nursery ready. I’d been so excited, we hadn’t wanted to know the sex, choosing instead to be surprised. I’d rushed back to the states and went straight to her bedside. She’d been in a coma since the accident.
It was a little girl and she never stood a chance. I’d sat at her bedside for days refusing to move, and then she’d opened her eyes. Five minutes, I had five minutes with her in which she’d said only two words. “Red Mercedes.”
After that she was gone. There was no one else in the room with us, no one else had heard.
I’d given it a lot of thought, whether or not I should share the information with the cops. The police report had said that it was a hit and run. She’d had a flat on a deserted stretch of road in a small town on her way to visit her parents.
A car had slammed into her while she’d been parked on the side of the street trying to call for help. She’d got out of the car disoriented and fell in the middle of the road, bleeding out. The driver of the other car had not stopped and no one had reported an accident on that road. There was no doubt that he knew what he’d done, whoever he was. He’d just not cared.
After I buried my family, I took leave from work and hid myself away with a bottle for a good week and a half. It was then I got the idea to take matters into my own hands. The cops were no closer to finding out who was responsible, but I had one piece of information that they didn’t.
I’d gone back to that town and researched her steps. I put in a few calls and got access to any CCT cameras in the area. And that’s how I found him. The red Mercedes just as she’d said. The owner had no idea that he was about to commit murder, so he hadn’t hid his face or his license plate. I lucked out there.
It was obvious as he left the store that he was drunk and that just made me even more pissed off than I already was. With his license plate it was easy to find him. I should’ve passed the information over to the cops, but a deep search of the asshole showed that he was one of those guys who could and had bought his way out of shit.
The more I learned of him, the more I hated him. The decision to destroy him was an easy one, the only thing left was how. Then I’d come across a picture of him and his family and my eyes landed on his daughter. There was a right up in the paper for her eighteenth birthday. Daddy’s girl they’d called her.
The report had talked about his love for his daughter and all the things he’d done for her birthday. A birthday my own daughter will never have. The seed had been planted and from there I’d put my plan in motion. I’d asked for an extended leave, bought this place and set about getting things ready.
Now here we were. I’d achieved all that I’d set out to do but it was leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. I had no doubt my wife would not approve. She was soft hearted and kind where I wasn’t so much of either. She would’ve wanted me to go to the cops and let them take care of it. But that wouldn’t have given me back what I’d lost.
I wanted to make him bleed from within the way I was. I’ve been following the news and knew that he was indeed suffering. The next phase of my one-man operation was already in the works and should bear fruit by tomorrow. I’d forwarded evidence of his insider trading to the SEC and knew that tomorrow was the day his world would implode.
He’d lose everything, including his wife who I knew from hacking into her shit already had one foot out the door. I’d sent her a nice little message telling her to ask her husband what he’d done to cause his daughter’s disappearance.
I knew she had, you could see the strain between them in the latest interviews they’d done for the cameras. He wasn’t looking too good himself but I didn’t give a fuck. So why was I feeling this guilt? Why now that everything was just as I’d hoped was I feeling like I’d crossed the line?
I rested my head against the tree and looked up at the sky, for the first time hearing the cry of the birds as they flew overhead. I felt as if I’d been walking blind for the past year and a half, like the sun had been hidden behind the clouds all this time.
“What have you done Royce? Fuck! My wife always did say my anger was going to get me in trouble one of these days. It was too late to turn back now, she was carrying my child. In that moment I missed her more than I’d ever missed anything in my life.
I should hate that, hate that I couldn’t be away from her for more than a few minutes before feeling that pull as if there was an imaginary string holding us together. I saw her little face all the way back to the cabin and was running by the time it came into view.
My heart raced sickeningly in my chest now for a different reason. I shouldn’t have done it, I should’ve taken the fight to him. Fuck, what have I done? I opened the door and braced myself to see her now with these new confusing feelings playing havoc with my mind. I pulled the mask on over my head and felt sick doing even that, but I needed her.
She was lying on her back with her eyes closed and her breath even in sleep. My heart squeezed just a little at the look of innocence on her face. She didn’t hear me approach and I stood next to the bed looking down at her and my hand reached out to touch.
9
She opened her eyes slowly and turned her head my way. I saw the question in her eyes, as if she knew that something had changed. I held her eyes with mine as my hand moved down her thigh and back because I couldn’t resist touching her.
I opened my mouth to say something to her but closed it again. What could I say? How could I possibly make this right? She opened her legs wider as if in invitation and the move made me tear up. My eyes flew to hers and she had a quizzical look on her face.
I still couldn’t find the words to give her, so I looked away. I let my hand trail to her pussy and played in the hair that had grown back there before dipping my fingers inside. She moaned and pushed up and into my hand.