The Space Between Us(10)

"Asher is going to freak when he sees you in this dress," Reeve said as we walked through the metal doors into the school.

"Shut up. Everyone is going to freak when they see you. You look amazing  in that dress, Reeve, like, hot." She smiled brilliantly at me and I  smiled back at her. We walked into the gymnasium which was transformed  for the dance.

White curtains draped everywhere with different colored lights shading  areas in bright flashes of prismatic hues. There were big, round, white  lanterns hanging from the ceiling, spaced evenly around the white flower  streamers that also hung from the ceiling as well. It didn't look like  the gym we ran laps around, instead I felt like I'd wandered into a  cloud  –  a cloud currently hosting a rave, but a cloud nonetheless.

Reeve grabbed my hand and took me through the crowds of people on the  dance floor. Everyone looked amazing. So many girls wore beautiful  dresses, their hair perfectly styled, laughing and dancing with boys  wearing sharp suits and shiny shoes. Everyone smiled and bounced to the  music. The happiness was contagious and I found myself smiling while  admiring all the gorgeous people surrounding me. My eyes flitted from  person to person, taking in their dresses, their smiles, their dance  moves. I was enthralled by it all and completely enamored by the whole  experience.

My breath caught in my lungs and my body hit an invisible wall when I  spotted him across the cloud. He stood with some of his friends, talking  and laughing. I could only see his profile, but I could already tell he  looked incredible in his dark suit. When I stopped walking, Reeve was  tugged backwards. She shot me a confused look, but then followed my gaze  and caught me staring at Asher. She yelled into my ear, "He looks good,  Charlie." All I could do was nod. He looked amazing. My tummy was doing  all kinds of weird swirls, and it felt incredibly empty and hollow.

I turned into Reeve and pulled her arm so that she brought her ear down to my lips.

"I don't think I can go over there, Reeve."

"Why?"

"I don't know. All of a sudden I'm not feeling well."

"Charlie, everything is going to be ok. You're just nervous. Hey," she  said, trying to get my attention. I looked up at her. "It's just Asher."  Just Asher. Only Asher.

I thought about what she was saying and even though it was just Asher, I  didn't feel like I was just me. I felt like someone else, or like I was  becoming someone else. Asher was my best friend, the first person who  cared about me here. The only person who cared enough to push me to come  out of my shell. He'd been my best friend for years and if anything  took that friendship from me, I didn't know what I would do.

"I'm scared," I confessed to Reeve in a moment of mouth-filter malfunction.

"Of what?"

"That something will happen to ruin our friendship."

Her face softened and she placed a warm hand on my shoulder. "Asher  would never do anything to hurt you, Charlie. Do you like him? You know,  like, more than the boy who is your friend?"                       
       
           



       

"What does that even mean?" I laughed nervously, trying to avoid answering the question.

"You know what it means. Do you have feelings for him?"

"I have lots of feelings for him," I answered, hoping the obviousness of my answer would be overlooked.

"No, I mean, do you have romantic feelings for him." Reeve looked annoyed at my dodging of her questions.

"I don't know, Reeve. He's Asher." I lied, to Reeve and myself.

"Well, I think you should go over there and just see what happens. I  know he's looking forward to seeing you." I took in a deep breath and  let it out loudly, knowing the thumping of the bass from the music would  hide my nervousness.

"Ok, let's go." I'm not sure there would be anything I could do to  prepare myself to talk to him right now, so I might as well just go over  there. It was only Asher, after all. Reeve grabbed my hand and resumed  pulling me through the crowd again. As we inched closer to him, I saw  the moment when he realized I was near. His shoulders moved back, he  stood up straighter and turned his head in our direction. I could no  longer hear the loud beat of the music or the laughter ringing through  the gym; all I could hear was my own heartbeat and it was racing. His  eyes locked on mine and I saw the corners of them wrinkle a little,  knowing he was smiling but too lost in his eyes to look away. When his  eyes moved from mine it was to look slowly down my body, taking in my  dress. The thump-thump of my heart sped up knowing that he was looking  at me  –  really looking. My mouth was dry, my palms were sweaty, and my  stomach was somewhere in the parking lot.

Then, all of a sudden, I was right in front of him. I could not remember walking up to him, but here I was, staring at him.

"Hi," I squeaked out at him.

"Hey, Bit." I couldn't help but smile at his nickname for me. It calmed  me a little. I tried to remind myself that no matter what, Asher was my  best friend. "Uh," he stammered, running his hand through his short  hair. "You look amazing." He looked at my body again. My dress, he was  looking at my dress.

"Thanks. You look really good in your suit too." I replied, proud of  myself for getting out an entire sentence. Then I noticed the color of  his tie: peach. I looked at him quizzically. "Your tie," I said pointing  to his chest. He looked down and touched it lightly. Then he nearly  killed me by touching my arm and leaning into me to speak into my ear.  My eyes closed involuntarily. His nearness and his breath on my skin  sent chill bumps spreading like wildfire.

"Reeve told me what color your dress was. I hope you don't mind." I  shook my head and I'm sure my expression was that of shock. "I know you  couldn't have an official date," he said into my ear again, making  everything turn to jello again. "But I didn't want anyone thinking that  you were available."

"Available?" I stammered.

He smiled at me and then walked towards a large round table, pulling me  with him. He picked up a box from the table and pulled out from it a  beautiful corsage made with one peach colored rose surrounded with  baby's breath.

"Here," he said as he slipped it over my wrist. "Every girl needs a  corsage at a dance." I looked from him, down to the flower, and back up  to him numerous times. My mouth was broken and I couldn't even find the  words appropriate at that moment. Eventually I was able to shake off my  surprise as his thoughtfulness, but still not able to form words. I  mouthed 'thank you' to him. He winked at me and I nearly fainted.

We turned back around and joined our group of friends closer to the  dance floor. Reeve shot me a smile and I glared at her playfully,  knowing she was in on the surprises that Asher had planned for me. For  the next hour or so we all stood in a group, talking loudly over the  music, dancing in place, taking breaks for punch and generally having an  awesome time.

I tried not to focus too hard on the fact that Asher seemed to always  find a way to touch me. Sometimes his arm was around my shoulders in a  friendly way. Sometimes he wrapped it around my waist in a more personal  way which made my heart jack-hammer in my chest. At one point, he took  his hand and slid it into mine, gripping it gently. I looked up at him  and he gave me a shy smile. We never held hands before. I never held  hands with anyone. I was instantly concerned with how hand-holding  worked. Should I link my fingers with his? Was he holding my hand  because we were friends? Did other people think we were holding hands  because we were dating? Were we dating? If I had to let go for some  reason, was I allowed to wrap my hand around his again? Did I have to  let go?

I felt him give my hand a squeeze, pulling me from my hand-holding freak out. I looked up at him and he was smiling.                       
       
           



       

"You ok?"

I nodded my head, trying to smile, but I'm sure I looked like I was going to be sick.

"Are you ok with this?" He asked as he squeezed my hand again, indicating he was asking about us holding hands.

I nodded my head again.

"Can you say something? It would make me feel better about all of this." I swallowed hard, trying to push down my nerves.

"I'm ok with this," was all I could manage, but it satisfied him enough that he gave me another wink. This time I really smiled.

I think because it was a school dance, the DJ played fast songs we could  all dance to, but eventually the DJ turned on a slow song. The  atmosphere in the room changed from fun and happy to nervous and sweaty.  Some kids immediately paired off. Couples that were established took no  time and wrapped around each other. The rest of us stood in a moment of  uncomfortable edginess. I noticed many people looking around either  looking for someone to ask to dance, or trying to make themselves look  bored perhaps hoping someone would ask them. All I was doing was trying  to avoid Asher's gaze. Our hands were still linked, palm-to-palm, and I  was nervous that he was going to ask me to dance with him.