The Lover Beneath Me(65)

“Where were you today? I tried calling, wanted to know if you wanted to order in,” she said softly as she walked past me. I looked up to see Jimmy sitting at the bar stool watching us both. I nodded, signaling him to leave.

“I’m off, Ms. Evans,” Jimmy said.

“‘Kay good night, Jimmy,” Addie said, reaching for the pizza box that was in the oven and placed it on the counter.

“You didn’t eat?” I asked, watching her move about our kitchen.

“No, I was waiting for you,” she said with a half-smile.

“I saw Hugh today.” I watched her carefully. She stopped for a mere second, then started up again, cutting into the pizza.

“Oh,” she said under her breath.

“He admitted to everything. My lawyers and the D.A. are working together to see how to best deal with him. His dad’s working hard to get him extradited back to London so he can stand trial there. Apparently, Hugh’s afraid of the prisons here.” Leaning against the wall, I crossed my arms, still watching her intently.

“Do you want anything to drink with your pizza?” She placed two pieces on a plate.

“Addie, did you hear me?” I pushed off the wall and walked into the kitchen.

“I heard you, but you didn’t answer my question. Do you want anything to drink?” she asked again, her eyes that I always sought out were averted, avoiding any eye contact.

“Addie, look at me,” I ordered, but she resisted. “Addie,” I said more forcefully.

“What?” Finally, she met my eyes.

“You need to deal with this. You can’t bury it like you’ve done in the past”

“What? Should I deal with it the way you are?” she fired back. “Have you dealt with it, Daimon? Because from the looks of it you haven’t either,” she attacked.

“I’m talking to you right now. I’m not hiding away with some smart-ass snide remark. I’m here in front of you talking to you about the man who took away our baby. So, yes, I’m dealing. You? What has my Addie done but revert back to her old fucking ways,” I said bluntly.

Addie squared herself off and narrowed her eyes. She peered up at me. I could tell she wanted to say something anything, but nothing came out of her mouth, not one word, not one peep as she stormed off.

“That’s right, Addie, run, hide away. Hide upstairs where the world can’t get to you. Hide, Addie, hide!” I shouted, my eyes tracking her running up to our bedroom. Drako barked at me, telling me to stop, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop. I wanted Addie to start being herself again. She wanted to stay with me; she even said she didn’t blame me.

“So you want me in your life? You didn’t want to leave?” I said loudly. I opened the door and found her sitting on her side of the bed. “Then, my beloved Addie, you’re going to have to deal with me.”

“Just leave me alone,” she said roughly.

“Are you fucked? I’m not leaving you alone. I told you to leave. I told you to save yourself, yet you stayed. Now you have to deal with it, with me and with our loss. Do you understand me, Addie? I’m not going to spend the rest of my life with you, watching you destroy yourself over something you had no control over,” I fired back as I walked into out room.

“Screw off, Daimon. I just need some time,” she replied bitterly.

“Time? Why?” I pushed, but Addie kept her mouth shut. I lowered myself down and grabbed her shoulders tightly. “Say it, Addie, just fucking say it,” I barked.

“Say what, Daimon? That I feel empty, lost. That I need time to deal with the fact I’m no longer carrying my baby? That one minute I was pregnant, and I finally felt like I knew what I wanted, and then in the next, I lost everything. Is that it? Is that what you so desperately want me to say to you? Okay, Daimon, I said it. Now what? Can you make it better? Can you change it? Can you bring back our little baby?” she shouted, her face flushed as she clenched her hands into tight fists.

My voice lowered. “No, Addie, I can’t bring back our baby, and I can’t change it either. But I’ll be damned if you stay quiet and hold all this inside you. Swear at me, yell at me, tell me you hate me, but do something other than what you’re doing now. Because seeing you like this…it’s tearing away at me, at my soul. Don’t you fucking get it?” I demanded her to understand.

“I know…I know. I’m sorry.” A flash of pain passed over her face when she reached out and touched my face.

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to be my Addie,” I said forcefully.

“Okay.” She held onto my face, bringing her lips down to my forehead. “Daimon, I don’t blame you. I’m just hurting. I finally found what I didn’t know I wanted, and then I lost it. I lost it all in one day. It’s just hard to digest. You know?” Addie gently smiled as she cried quiet tears.