The Forever Man(7)

She held the envelope in her hand, squeezing the bulk of it and watching  him closely. His eyes were dark, but not brown, as she'd thought at  first. They were a deep, deep gray, with just a few blue flecks around  the edges of the pupils. Sometimes they were flat, hard-looking, like  when he'd gone to talk to the boys about the dog, earlier today. Now  they were softer, more vulnerable, as if he were hesitant to lay his  life out before her, all stuffed in a envelope and waiting for her  perusal.

"I'd like to know a couple of things, Mr. Montgomery." She squeezed the  papers, hearing the faint crackling of the crisp envelope.

"Do you think you could call me Tate after we're married?" he asked quietly. "In fact, maybe you could start now."

She bit against her top lip. "It's unseemly for me to use your given name."

"Try." His eyes entreated her, and she looked away, settling her gaze on  his folded hands instead. They were good hands. Strong and well formed,  clean, with a tracing of soft curls across the back. She'd warrant his  forearms were covered with the same brown hair. Her eyes closed as she  recognized the drift of her thoughts. What was covered by his  shirtsleeves was none of her business.

"Try, Miss Johanna," he repeated, and she sighed, aware that he wasn't about to give in on this matter.

"All right. I want to know how long your wife's been dead, Tate."

"A year and a half. She drowned in a spring flood."

It was more than she'd asked, and somehow the thought of the unknown  woman being swept away by rushing waters made her want to cry. She  gritted her teeth against the feeling and looked up at him. "It must  have hard on your boys, losing their mother that way."

"They'd been staying with her sister for a few days when it happened.  Didn't seem to cause much of a fuss over it, to tell the truth. But  then, they were close to Bessie. That was her sister's name, and she  kept them for another week after it happened."

Johanna felt a hollow spot in her middle expand and grow chill with his  words. "Why were they with their aunt? Didn't their mother want them  home with her?"

He unfolded his hands, and her eyes were drawn to the movement. He'd  formed them into two fists, and his knuckles were whitened, so hard had  he curled his fingers into his palms. "My wife hadn't been herself,  hadn't been feeling well."

"She was sickly?"

He shook his head, and his gaze bored into her, impelling her eyes to  sweep up the length of his chest, up his throat and chin, over his  flared nostrils, and jam smack against the hard, cold look he offered  her. "She had problems. She was unhappy with her life, and sometimes the  boys bore the brunt of it Her sister … well, her sister understood, and  when things got touchy, she'd come and get Pete and Timmy and take them  home with her."

"Was she mental?"

His mouth thinned, his teeth gritting together, and he moved his hands  to the edge of the table, shoving his chair back and rising swiftly to  his feet. "Do we need to discuss this now? I'd think it was sufficient  for you to know that she wasn't herself sometimes."

Johanna shook her head. "No, I guess we don't have to talk about it any more. I just wondered … "

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to be rude. It's just not my favorite  memory. It happened, and it changed our lives. My boys need a mother. To  tell the truth, I decided when I first laid eyes on you that you were  strong and had a clear mind and your eyes were honest and kind. And  that's what I was looking for for my boys."                       
       
           



       

"You knew all that by seeing me out there by your wagon?"

He nodded. "I knew all that when I saw you come hotfootin' it across the  field between here and your orchard. Any woman who planned on hauling  all those apples to the house had to be strong. A woman who's been able  to keep this place going obviously has a clear mind. And you've got the  bluest, sharpest eyes I've ever seen on a person in my life. When you  looked at my boys, the kindness just sort of shone through over your  mad. Then, when you called me back, I knew it was because you'd seen how  tired and antsy they were, riding on the wagon."

"I like your children, Tate." It had come easier this time, saying his name.

"You're a born mother, unless I miss my guess. You should have been married with a bunch of young ones of your own before now."

She stiffened, feeling the rigid length of her backbone as if it had  been turned into ice within her. "I told you, I never planned on being  married."

"I won't make you sorry you changed your mind, Miss Johanna."

The words were spoken like a promise. Almost as if they might be a  preface to the wedding vows they'd be taking before long. "I'll not make  you wait till tomorrow for my answer, Tate," she said, her voice coming  out strained and harsh-sounding, as if it belonged to somebody else.

He stilled, reminding her of a deer at the edge of the woods. She heard  his indrawn breath, and then he let it out in a silent sigh. "You  haven't read the letters, Miss Johanna."

Her movements were abrupt as she handed the envelope back across the  table. "I don't need to read them. Theodore Hughes read them and passed  his approval. That's good enough for me. If we don't start this out with  a measure of trust between us, we'll have a hard time later on. Maybe  someday I'll want to read them, but I think the fact that you offered  without holding back is good enough for me."

"You'll marry me?"

"You've got a strong body and clean hands, Tate. You treat your boys  well, and you come highly recommended, if my minister is to be believed.  You told me I'd have my own room to sleep in, and I'm not afraid of  you." She took a deep breath and lifted her chin, eyeing him squarely.  "I'm not afraid of hard work, either, but I'm mighty sick of it. I'll  tell you right now, I've toted the last crate of apples I'm going to.  You can unload that wagon of yours tomorrow and go out to the orchard  and do the honors. It'll be fine to have a horse and wagon on the place  again."

"When can we marry, Miss Johanna?" His words were harsh, as if he were  holding back a measure of emotion he wasn't comfortable with.

"Sunday morning, after service, if that suits you." She bit at her lip, suddenly aware of the step she was taking.

His hand snaked across the table and grasped hers, enveloping it within  his. It was warm and a bit rough, callused across the palm. She was  still, her fingers touching his warm flesh, unmoving, as if she were  fearful of brushing his skin with her own. It was the first time she'd  touched a man's flesh in years. Except for when she'd helped to lay her  Pa out in his Sunday suit for burying.

She felt the squeeze of his hand as he brushed his thumb over her  knuckles, and she closed her eyes at the sensation of prickling heat the  touch aroused within her.

"Miss Johanna, I'd ask that you treat me nicely when we're around other  folks. You know, like we're really married. And if I touch you, or act  friendly, you could … " He faltered as he searched for words.

"Act like this is a real love match? You don't want people to think  we're not married in … in fact? Is that what you mean?" Her cheeks bore a  faint flush as she provided the words he'd sought. "That's fine with me,  Tate. I don't think it's anyone's business what we arrange between us.  I'll take your arm when we go into church."

He nodded. "I won't ask for more than I told you this afternoon." He  released her hand and stood. "This is Friday night, Johanna. I'll ride  to town in the morning and tell your preacher he'll be having a wedding  in his church come day after tomorrow."                       
       
           



       

"Good. You can take the eggs and butter into the general store for me  while you're at it, if you don't mind. It'd save Mr. Turner a trip out  if you'd take a couple crates of apples along for him to sell over the  counter, too."

He nodded his assent and turned to the doorway. "I'll go settle down in  the barn, then. It's getting late enough for those boys to be in bed.  We'll wash up out back."

She was halfway up the stairs when she heard a muted shout of childish  laughter. She'd crossed her bedroom to the window when the sound reached  her ears again. The two boys were in front of the barn, Timothy on the  ground with the dog. Sheba's tail was wagging to beat the band, and the  boy's hands were buried deeply in her ruff.

Johanna's heart lurched in her chest as she watched, and the doubts  she'd entertained throughout the evening vanished with the setting sun.  It would be worth it to move to the sewing room, or even up to the  attic. More than worth it to scrub a man's work-soiled clothes again and  cook three full meals a day for his consumption. She'd have children;  finally, she'd know the feel of a soft, warm body and small arms around  her neck. Timothy was young enough to need hugs.