The Commitment(8)

He quirked an eyebrow. "Curious, are you?"

"I showed you mine. I think it's only fair to show me yours." I turned to him, smiling, watching for his response.

He finally turned to me, a grin curving his very delicious mouth. "Trying to figure me out are you, Ms. Bennet? Sometimes a little mystery is a good thing. You might be disappointed when you see it."

"Why?"

"It's not really all that interesting." Despite his smile, I could hear a hint of reluctance in his voice. "Just a nice old apartment in a nice old apartment block. My broker recommended it and I bought it sight unseen. It was decorated professionally so there's not much of my personality in it."

"Still, I'd love to see it – the Sanctum Sanctorum."

He laughed. "It's not the holiest of holies. It's just an apartment."

"If you really don't want to take me, we don't have to go but I will feel slighted."

"No, no," he said, shaking his head. He glanced at me as we stopped at a stoplight, his smile a bit forced. "If you really want to see it, we can drop by there now. In fact, if you want, we can do our scene there. I have quite a few toys…"

"I'm sorry. It's just that I'd like to see how you lived before you met me."

"No, it's fine. As to how I lived before I met you," he said and cracked a grin. "I lived like a monk most of the time. I worked at the hospital. I gave lectures at Columbia. I attended fundraisers. I played racquetball at my club. And, when I had a submissive, I went to her apartment and tied her up and fucked her. Sometimes, I went to a dungeon party or one of the local munches. That was pretty much it. I lived a bachelor's life, Kate. The Chelsea apartment is where I eat and sleep. 8th Avenue is my place. My refuge. When I think of us, I see us there."

I smiled, glad that he thought of us at 8th Avenue. It was so personal for him and we started our relationship there. I felt like he really let me in there, letting down his guard a bit when we were together despite his best efforts to keep me under his control.

The mention of his past Dom activity with other submissives both aroused me and made me jealous. I'd considered going to a munch – a monthly meet-up with other BDSM practitioners over a meal – but had been too shy to go on my own. If I had gone, would I have met Drake there? I imagined it while we drove through the city, wondering what would have happened if I'd met him completely outside of my father's realm, anonymously. Would we have found each other if it hadn't been for Lara and my father's fundraiser? Life was so filled with accidents and chance.

"How many submissives have you had?" I said, trying to sound casual.

He pursed his lips for a moment. "Eight with signed contracts."

"Eight?" I said, turning to him, unable to stop frowning.

He gave me a guilty smile. "That doesn't include the subs I topped at play parties. I don't know how many there were. Maybe another six or so. You have to remember," he said, sounding a bit flustered. "Lara trained me and introduced me to a number of different subs. She was helping me learn what kind of Dom I was, so I went through quite a few in the first couple of years. It’s not easy to find compatible people."

I nodded, but still… He'd had fourteen or more submissives in five years? I'd been with three men during that same period, and two of them were really barely out of their teens.

He reached over and took my hand in his, lifting it to his lips to kiss my knuckles.

"You don't have to be jealous. I never felt anything for them other than a desire for bondage and to dominate them sexually. They were a more rewarding way of having an orgasm than jerking off. You're completely different."

"I'm not jealous," I said, maybe a bit too quickly. "I'm curious. And intimidated."

He smiled quickly. "Good," he said. "A Dom is supposed to be a bit intimidating. It helps get the sub in the proper submissive state of mind. When you think of me as your partner, you should feel my equal."

"I'm really not your equal," I said, considering him. "You're a neurosurgeon. I haven't even had a real job yet."

He laughed at that. "Kate..." He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek briefly. "I'll let you in on a very well-kept secret." He focused back on the road. "Take away all the trappings of power, the accomplishments, the money, and underneath every mogul, however successful, is just a flesh and blood man. We all want the same thing, deep down."

"What?"

He glanced at me, smirking. "Hot sex with a really great-looking babe."

"Drake!" I pulled my hand out of his and punched his shoulder playfully.