The Birds and the Bees(13)

He thought back again to how calmly she had smiled goodbye. She hadn't  even blown her top when she found out he'd ransacked the joint account,  considering he had only put fifty quid in it towards the holiday in the  first place. Had he looked at Jo at that moment, he would have seen  something cross her face like a cloud. A cloud that was full of the grey  shades of confusion that said, ‘Now that is odd … '                       
       
           



       

The scent of Jo's hair chased the image of Stevie away and Matthew found  himself looking forward to the night, instead of backwards at the  afternoon. Still, it niggled him that something wasn't quite as it  should be, and Stevie ranting and raving would have unsettled him far  less than her smiling at him.





Chapter 13




Eddie walked in from work and straightaway asked his wife,

‘So, how did Stevie get on with Buggerlugs today?'

‘Don't ask,' said Catherine, giving him her customary peck. They had  kissed each other hello and goodbye for eighteen years now and saw no  reason to ever break the habit. ‘Apparently Matt came in, packed a bag  and sodded straight off.'

‘Never! Where's he gone?'

‘To a B&B, she said. He didn't give her the name of it. Told her he wanted a bit of space before the wedding.'

‘The wedding? Still on then, is it?' Eddie shook his head. ‘Blimey.'

‘He's moved out for a few days.'

‘Just a few days?'

‘Until Stevie moves out.'

‘What?'

‘He wants her out.'

‘Eh?'

‘I couldn't have put it better myself, babe,' said Catherine, who was  wondering when the Doppelgänger had taken over Matthew's soul because  this was so not like the nice guy she knew. He was everything Mick  wasn't, so why was he acting just as idiotically as him? Had it been  anyone else but Matthew, Catherine would have advised her friend to get  out and draw a line under it all without so much as a backward glance,  but Matt was a great bloke – steady and quiet, well, at least he had been  before he went batty. He was fond of Danny too, and that was something  of paramount importance to Stevie.

‘What's she going to do?' asked Eddie, stripping off his orange  skip-deliverer's tunic. He was a plasterer by trade but he'd done a day  here and there helping out his old friend Tom Broom in refuse and  recycling since they had left school. Tom made even big Eddie look like a  midget but he was a really sound bloke. Like Matt used to be.

‘She hasn't a bloody clue,' said Catherine.

‘Well, you'd better ring your Auntie Madge and tell her that Stevie won't be going to Pam's wedding on Saturday.'

‘I'm doing nothing of the sort,' said Catherine. ‘Stevie's going and that's that. It'll do her good.'

‘Nay, Cath … '

‘Eddie, apart from the fact that Pam would kill her if she didn't go,  I've told Steve that she needs to be seen enjoying herself and getting  on with life, not moping about. That's not going to attract Matt back to  her, is it?'

Pam was Catherine's rather formidable cousin. She was getting married to  William, the really nice guy who ran Gym Village, and they had all been  invited. The tartan-ribboned invitation was on Catherine's pin-board in  the kitchen, as it was in Stevie's; her own and Matthew's names on it  bracketed together as a still-present couple. The groom was a native  Scot and getting married in full tartan regalia, and it promised to be a  jolly affair.

Eddie scratched his head. It was all harder to understand than a David Lynch film.

‘What if Matt goes and takes that Joanna? Have you thought about how that would make Stevie feel?'

‘Don't be daft, he wouldn't dare! And even if he did think about  bringing her, she wouldn't be that iron-faced as to come. Besides, I  reminded Stevie how she'd promised Danny that he could stay at ours that  night with Kate. She wouldn't dream of letting him down.'

Kate, who loved the little boy to bits and pieces, and was adored in  return, had volunteered to babysit him, along with her other brothers  and sisters. Volunteered after being offered a lump sum, that was. Danny  was going to top and tail in little Gareth's pirate-ship bed and he'd  had his Mr Incredibles bag packed for a fortnight waiting for it.

‘That's below the belt,' said Eddie, wincing.

‘I know, I'm a total witch,' said Catherine with a very self-satisfied  grin. ‘But it worked. She's going. I'll ring Auntie Madge and get her to  jiggle the seating arrangements a bit though.'

‘Cath,' said Eddie kindly, ‘are you sure it's the right thing for her?'

‘Sure as eggs are eggs,' said Catherine. ‘Think about it. If Matt had  truly known what he was doing, he would have cancelled the wedding.  He'll come to his senses, I'm totally convinced of it. He'll be holed up  in a grotty B&B wrestling with his conscience and having a  last-minute commitment panic. Soon as he sees that Stevie is fine  without him, he'll want her back.'                       
       
           



       

‘And where's this Jo then?' said Eddie. ‘Has she gone back to her husband or what?'

‘My guess is that she did. I tried to get Stevie to ring MacLean to find out, but she wouldn't. Do you think I should?'

‘No, I bloody well don't,' said Eddie. Much as he loved his wife, it  niggled him sometimes that she always thought she knew better than  anyone else. He had a feeling that one day she was going to get it so  very wrong. Or maybe, by getting Stevie and Matt together in the first  place, she already had.





Chapter 14




Adam MacLean spotted Stevie on the weights. She had her headphones on  and was watching the television screen. Now which channel would she be  tuned into? he mused. Sky News? The Music Channel? Or Morning Coffee  with Drusilla Durham and that smarmy Gerald ‘The Man' Mandelton bloke  talking about cakes?

He wondered how the day before last had gone at her end, when Matty Boy  returned home. Not too well, if her serious, pale face was anything to  go by. If only the daft woman had listened to him, this stupid business  might all have been over and done with now. No doubt she had shouted at  Finch, pleaded with him, screamed, cried, and embarrassed him back to  his Jo faster than if he was Sir Roger Bannister and his backside was on  fire. How not to win your spouse back in one easy lesson.

He could see that her teeth were gritted as she tackled far bigger  weights than were on her toning programme. He should have gone over and  told her she needed to do more reps on smaller weights, otherwise she  would end up like a miniature Hulk Hogan, but he sent Hilary over  instead because he would not have been able to resist asking how things  were and she, no doubt, would have replied with some cocky remark that  made him even more disgruntled than he was already.

The seven nights in bed without Jo's body beside him were hard enough,  but the last two had hurt more than all of them put together, knowing  all her wardrobes were empty and her jewellery and toiletries and  make-up were gone from cupboards and drawers. Poignantly, she had left  her long, pink toothbrush behind. It leaned against his own in the  glass.

He knew he had played it like a master when she walked through the door  looking beautiful and tanned and glowing and telling him how wet Wales  was. Like he had tried to say to Mrs Universe over there – basic  psychology. Jo had been shaking when she left him, and even though she  had gone out of his door with her suitcases, climbed in her car and  driven off – no doubt to the arms of her lover – he would have bet his own  car on the fact that Round 1 had been to him.



‘Mummy, is "happily" an adverb?'

‘Yes, it is, love,' said Stevie, changing his wet pyjama top. Now his  Superman short bottoms were teamed up with a Shrek T-shirt, ‘as in  "Danny Honeywell chews his pyjama collar happily".'

‘Sorry, mummy,' said Danny.

‘It's okay.'

‘Can I wear my Dannyman top instead?'

‘It's in the wash, pet.'

‘Mummy?'

‘Yes, Danny?'

‘Where's Matthew?'

‘Weeelll … ' she began, then realized she hadn't a clue how she was going  to answer that, or even if she could because her voice felt as if it  would be too wobbly to deliver the words, if she opened up her mouth.  She wasn't quite sure where tears came from, but they seemed to be  taking a fast-speed train up to her eyes these days, and the pressure of  holding them back physically hurt.

‘He's just living somewhere else for a while and we're going to live  somewhere else for a while,' she said, trying to make it sound like a  jolly adventure.