Taking It All(11)

The bitterness in her voice made him wince. He'd never expected their   marriage to come to this. Not only was she questioning his fidelity, but   she was also questioning every aspect of their marriage. And all of  his  shortcomings and failures over the last two years.

"She was a potential client," he said, looking her straight in the eye.   "I don't know what the hell you thought you saw, but I was not all over   that woman. I was having drinks with her and discussing the  possibility  of her transferring her portfolio to me. She'd be a big  coup. Her  husband died and left her a lot of money. Most of it in  stocks and  bonds, and she's unhappy with the financial advisor her  husband used. So  yes, I was having drinks with her. I told her I could  only meet with  her a short time as I had another commitment. I got  delayed. Time got  away from me. I had no idea so much time had passed,  baby. I would never  purposely do anything to hurt you. You have to  believe that."                       
       
           



       

"But you have hurt me," she whispered. "Over and over again. I can't   even count on two hands the times you've left me for a client. When   we're at friends', with Dash and Joss or Kylie and Jensen. When I'm   alone at the house on a weekend because you're off golfing with clients   or taking them to dinner. Without me. You used to include me in your   dinners and social affairs but then you quit. Are you ashamed of me? Did   I fail you in some way?"

He was shocked by her outburst. God, by the magnitude of hurt she was   feeling. All piled up and finally exploding last night-and now. It   flayed his heart open and he was bleeding on the inside for all he'd   done to this precious woman.

"God no, Chessy! Fail me? Me ashamed of you? You are the most beautiful   woman in the world to me. You light up the entire room when you enter.   Ashamed? Jesus Christ. I didn't want to burden you anymore. I could see   how it was affecting you being called upon so many times, always going   out, or entertaining in and you taking care of all the details. I  could  see the toll it was taking on you. I never wanted that for you. I  wanted  you to be financially secure and for you to do whatever the  hell you  wanted in your free time. Not always having to rush around  because of  the obligations I had. They weren't yours to bear."

"I never minded," she said in barely above a whisper. "I felt important   to you. Like we were a team. I wanted to support you. Be there for you.   And then it was the only way I got to spend time with you because you   were always gone, always on the phone, never here with me. And then I   lost that too. I lost you."

"You haven't lost me, damn it! Chessy, I love you. I can't say that   enough. Nor can I say I'm sorry enough. I wish to hell I could say that I   saw when everything went all wrong, but it just happened gradually and  I  took for granted that you'd always be here. My wife. The woman I   loved."

"Don't you turn this around on me," she said, fire sparking in the eyes   that had been dull and filled with sorrow just minutes ago. "Don't you   dare insinuate that I haven't been here. I've been here every damn day.   Waiting for my husband to come home. To be here. To fulfill my needs.   You're supposed to be my Dominant, Tate! And even my friends and their   significant others can see you aren't living up to your promise to me   when I gave you my submission."

Tate's lips thinned into a tight line. "What the hell do you mean about Dash and Jensen seeing anything?"

Chessy gave him a tired look. "They're both dominant and they treat Joss   and Kylie like queens. I've heard from them time and time again that  in  return for the gift of my submission you're supposed to put my needs   above all others. That you're to cherish me and my gift absolutely.   Respect it. Recognize how precious such a gift is. And they said you're   failing miserably. Now how do you think that makes me feel to have my   marriage picked apart and judged by my best friends and their husbands,   or rather husband and lover in Kylie's case."

Tate let out a low growl. "They have no right to judge anything. What we   do is our business and our business alone. Our marriage is not up for   public speculation. Ever."

Chessy's accusing eyes found his. "It seems that if you were living up   to your promise and acting as a true Dominant, not to mention husband   and lover, that no one would have fodder to point out your   shortcomings."

The shot hit home and left him devoid of speech for several moments. She   was right and it hurt that he had no comeback. No excuse.

"There's no one else in this relationship except you and me," he finally   said in an even voice. "I readily admit that I've royally fucked up  and  I intend to rectify that starting now. This is our anniversary  weekend  and I intend to salvage it."

She looked at him for a long moment, hope stirring in her eyes. "How?" she whispered.

"It goes beyond a simple weekend," he continued, briefly ignoring her   question. "There's a hell of a lot more I have to make up for and a   weekend won't do that. I have to start over, from the beginning, and   make damn sure I never let you down again. Going forward you will be put   first in everything, Chessy. I don't expect you to believe it right   away. I have to regain your trust and, God, I hope your love as well.   I'm not letting you go without a fight."

Chessy's expression softened and she offered him the first smile he'd   seen in so very long. He couldn't remember the last time she'd smiled,   and that hurt him. He couldn't look back and pinpoint a time. And now he   realized just how long she'd been miserably unhappy. He'd ignored it.   Ignored the signs, so wrapped up in his job and ensuring his business   grew and flourished after his partner had bailed. All at the expense of   the one person he loved most in the world.                       
       
           



       

"I do love you, Tate. So very much. I've never stopped loving you."

"Thank God," he whispered fervently, relief pouring over him.

"I don't want to leave you," she said as fervently as he had. "That was   never an option for me. I hope I never gave you that impression. God,   it's the very last thing I ever want. I can't imagine my life without   you-your love. I just want  …  us  …  back. That's all I want. Your   dominance, your love, your priority. That isn't too much to ask, is it?   Am I being selfish? I've fought with myself for two years, feeling   guilty-and selfish-for craving your attention and love when I knew you   were working so hard to keep your business going. But I can't do it   anymore. I don't care if I sound selfish. I want us back!"

He pulled her into his arms, praying she didn't resist. He hugged her   tightly, wrapping his arms around her, encompassing her until she was   fully against him, her soft body molded to his. Finally she relaxed   against him, her rigidity gone. She let out a soft sigh and rested her   cheek against his chest.

"You aren't being selfish," he said fiercely. "Everything you've said is   what I should have been giving you. It's my failure, not yours. I  swear  to you, Chessy, everything is going to change starting now. I  know I  fucked up our anniversary night, but I want a do-over.  Everything starts  now. We have the weekend just to ourselves. I'm  turning my goddamn  phone off. I don't give a fuck about business. Not  if it means I don't  have you."

He pulled her gently away so he could look into her eyes, judge her decision. They were full of hope-and relief.

"Baby, I know a weekend can't fix what's between us. I know I have to   regain your trust and faith in me and that's going to take longer than a   few days, but I swear to you that if you give me the chance, I'll get   us back. That's what you said you wanted, wasn't it?"

Slowly she nodded.

"Then that's what I'm going to work on," he vowed. "It-and you-will be   my foremost priority. I know you'll have to wait and see to judge my   sincerity, but I will not give you any reason to doubt where you are on   my priorities from this point forward."

Then she smiled and he couldn't breathe. It was so radiant, lighting up   the room. His old Chessy, the one who sparkled and shone just by being   was back, even if just for a moment. The light that he'd effectively   stomped out repeatedly over the last while. God, all he wanted to do was   take her to bed and make love to her.