Because I was staring at Manning, I didn't even hear the Bridal March begin, didn't see Tiffany come out, but suddenly she was there, passing me her bouquet, moving in front of Manning, her back to me.
"Friends and family," the priest said, "we're gathered here today to witness the union of Tiffany and Manning, and to celebrate their love by joining them in marriage."
My heartbeat thundered in my ears. The priest smiled and said things I couldn't register, things Manning and Tiffany repeated. People laughed. Not Manning. He just stared at Tiffany.
If he'd only glance over, I knew what I'd see in his eyes, because I'd seen it before, in the few raw but powerful moments we'd had the last couple years. I'd see the depth of love that kept him away, the heat that kept him close.
Henry passed Manning the rings. Things were moving too fast. He wouldn't, couldn't, put that ring on her finger without sparing me even a glance, I knew it in my gut. On the inside, I screamed for him, convinced he would hear me. He focused on Tiffany so hard as he slid on her ring, he didn't even blink.
Maybe he didn't think love was enough, but it was. I knew it was. If he wasn't going to stop this, I would. For him. I loved him enough to do this on my own. Maybe he'd be mad for a while. Maybe he'd even try to stay away. But eventually, when things had settled, he'd understand why I couldn't let him make this mistake.
I knew what I had to do, and it had to be now.
"Marriage changes you," the priest said. "It betters you. It heals you. It will define you as a couple, and deepen your love for one another."
Now. Now. Now.
Everyone on the lawn watched, rapt. Mom, Dad, grandparents, toddlers, cousins. Corbin winked at me. Val chewed her thumbnail. Gary and Henry, maybe the only two men who'd ever given Manning a fair chance, stood tall and looked on proudly. I would hurt them, too. Everyone.
"Should anyone in attendance know of any reason why this couple should not be lawfully married, speak now . . . or forever hold your peace."
Two years ago, I dove into a lake at midnight hoping Manning would follow. The world had gone instantly black, deafeningly still, until I'd heard the woozy echo of Manning calling me back. I'd stayed submerged a little too long, punishing him for denying me, wanting him to worry. The silence of this moment was the same. Dizzying. Disorienting. Sluggish but calm. Everything shrunk down to the man in front of me.
Tiffany's veil lifted with a breeze. Beads of sweat had formed on Manning's hairline. He squeezed his eyes shut briefly. Could I do it for him? Ruin a wedding, a marriage before it began, a life? My own sister?
He'd asked me not to. He'd asked me to let this go.
Sarah, behind me, rubbed my back, and I realized it was because I shook with silent sobs. Scalding tears flooded my eyes, warming my cheeks.
Manning finally looked at me, his face pale, his ever-dark brows drawn so tightly that his forehead wrinkled. In his honeyed brown eyes, I saw all the agony the last two years had caused him. Our hot, construction-site afternoons, our cool, starry nights, and all the days he'd lost because of me. He swallowed, maybe holding back his own tears.
My love for him spanned the ocean, the sky over our heads, an infinite universe of stars. I could do this to Tiffany, but I couldn't do it to him. I sealed my words inside along with a great love that somehow fit inside me.
Maybe one day, Manning and I would challenge fate, defy gravity, and move the stars ourselves.
But today was not that day.
Coming October 2017: Move the Stars, the highly anticipated conclusion to the Something in the Way series. Preorder now.
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Keep swiping for chapter 1 of Possession (currently free on all platforms). Stay notified of new releases, sales, and monthly newsletters:
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Titles By Jessica Hawkins
More info at jessicahawkins/books
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If you're up for something similar to what you've just read, try my completed trilogy, The Cityscape Series (keep swiping to read chapter 1). To get a little sexier, go with Slip of the Tongue.
THE CITYSCAPE SERIES
The Cityscape Series is the compelling story of a forbidden love affair between a married woman and the man who could be her soul mate. Start the completed trilogy reviewers have called "gripping," "sexy" and "smart."
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Olivia Germaine has already found love. Devoted wife, loyal friend, determined career woman - she's created the life she always envisioned. But when Olivia locks eyes with David Dylan, alleged playboy and eternal bachelor, across a crowded room, he challenges Olivia to confront the life she's built and to make decisions that could either lead to happiness...or regret.