Somebody Else's Sky (Something in the Way #2)(87)

Tiffany pulled her hands into her sweater sleeves, trekking through the sand toward us. "I haven't stopped smiling since the party," she called out to me. "My cheeks hurt."

"Why?" Val asked.

Tiffany's smile fell. "Because I'm getting married."

"Oh yeah." Val snorted. "I already forgot."

Val knew how to get to Tiffany. Unlike Lake's other friends, I hadn't seen Tiffany try to engage her. Maybe she wasn't sure she'd win. "Maybe you've had enough beer," I told her.

"Maybe." Val tossed her empty beer can into a trash bag slumped by some lawn chairs. "I'll see if the guys need any help."

"So," Tiffany started, "how do you feel about hydrangeas?"

I looked over her head. Lake was walking away from the bonfire, along the water. "What's she doing?" I asked.

"Hydrangeas," she said. "What do you think?"

"Huh? What is that?"

"A type of flower. For the wedding."

"Tiff," I said, squinting to see into the dark, "you know I don't give a fuck about the flowers."

"All right, geez. I thought you might want to try to care."

I cared enough that I'd possibly made a deal with the devil, but I didn't have time to get into that now. "Where's Lake going?"

"I don't know. Probably to drown herself because I stole her spotlight."

My face heated as I dropped my eyes to her. I'd never gone into much detail about my sister's death with Tiffany, but she knew Maddy had drowned. "Why would you say that?" I asked. "You have any idea how insensitive that is?"

She rubbed under her nose, looking away as she muttered, "About as insensitive as ignoring me?"

Tiffany wasn't mean-spirited, but sometimes she did mean things out of hurt. I knew her comment about drowning hadn't been meant as a barb at me-it was too low of a blow. But she needed to think before she spoke. "I'm going to go get Lake."

"No."

I glanced down at her. "No?"

She put her hand in my free one. "She'll be fine. I need you here."

"For what?" I squeezed her hand but let it go. "I'll just be a minute. It's not safe for her to walk alone in the dark."

Tiffany folded her arms. "Manning." She thinned her lips into a bloodless line. "I said no." 

She was telling me no. It was cute she thought she could. Before anything, I was a man, and I answered only to myself. Especially after the life I'd led. I'd bent over backward to make Tiffany comfortable, but I wasn't indulging this kind of behavior. I took a drag of my cigarette and watched Lake get farther away. "I have to."

"Like you had to let her in your truck that night? You couldn't have just fucking said no and closed the door?"

I sucked nicotine into my lungs, hoping it'd morph into some kind of explanation for that night. I understood why she was paranoid after what she'd witnessed with her dad, but I didn't need Tiffany throwing that in my face the rest of our lives. "I tried."

"Try harder."

I didn't want to. Tiffany didn't know that trying harder meant me walking away from the whole situation. I'd given her as much as I was able these past couple years. This moment wasn't about her, though. Lake was hurting, and it was my fault, and I had to attempt to fix it. I kissed Tiffany on the forehead and started for the shore.

"She did this to herself," she called after me. "It's not your job to make it better."

Sand filtered into my sneakers until I made it to damp ground. The shore chased me up and down as I closed the space between Lake and me.

When I was at her back, she stopped and turned around. She didn't look surprised to see me, probably because she knew I'd come. "How could you do this to me?" she asked. "Why? I'm eighteen now."

I inhaled through my nose, then took one final drag of my cigarette. Maybe it was my fault Lake got so hung up on age. Had she thought she'd turn legal and we'd ride off into the sunset on a fucking bicycle? "It's not as simple as that."

"Summer?" she asked, sounding strangled.

"I know it's soon." Admittedly, the urgency of it made my collar tight. "But does it really matter when?" I asked. "Would it be easier if we waited a year or five?"

By the way her face fell, I had my answer. It was the same for me. Putting an end to this for good would never be easy. Maybe having the wedding now would give Lake the closure she needed to go off to school and live the life she was meant to. In that respect, summer wasn't soon at all. In fact, sooner was better than later.

"You're really going to do it?" she asked. "You want this?"

I squatted to put out my cigarette. "Yes."