Caleb had given her a clean bill of health, but she seemed so fragile to Stef. Women still died in childbirth. Was it worth risking the love of his life for someone he’d never met?
The closer they got to her due date, the more panic seemed to lodge in his belly, a constant companion. There were so many things that could go wrong. “I think we’re through with the guesthouse for a while.”
Even if everything was all right, Jennifer would need time to recover. They would need time to figure out how they would work as a family. So many things were about to change.
He missed his wife. He missed being her Master, but he had to take care of her.
There was a loud crash and then the maniacal laughter of the evil genius, Olivia Barnes-Fleetwood.
“That was fun, Daddy! Let’s do it again!”
Stef felt a tug on his shirt. When he looked down, Joshua Barnes-Fleetwood was looking up, a paintbrush in his hand. “Mr. Stef, I was looking at some of your paintings and they’re just colors and stuff. I wanted to help you out so I painted some dogs on there. Now they’re real paintings.”
Stef felt himself flush. “Oh, god, not the Lichtenstein.”
He ran down the hallway.
* * * *
Jen watched Stef go, her heart aching a little. More than a little. She smoothed down the front of her dress. She’d really tried this morning. She’d thought she looked pretty in the sunny yellow dress. It showed off her boobs, but kind of hid her belly as much as her belly could be hidden. Was she really so large that he couldn’t stand to look at her?
Rachel talked about how crazy Max and Rye got when she was pregnant. They were all over her. They were like that when she wasn’t, but Rach talked about how good pregnancy sex was. Even Callie said that Zane and Nate loved touching her and holding her while she’d been big with their twins.
She could barely get Stef to look at her.
“Jennifer, I can’t say how sorry I am.” Jack Barnes had folded the ladder back up. He hadn’t actually needed it. Olivia had decided that the best way to get out of a chandelier was to jump into Sam Fleetwood’s arms. Jen hadn’t been able to stop her laughter. Sam had been so relaxed, just opening his arms as Olivia jumped. Jack had nearly had a heart attack and ended up on the floor before his wife and partner got him back up.
She gave him a smile. “It’s all right. I never really liked that chandelier anyway. If it had all come down in a heap, I would have been okay with it. I’m just glad Olivia is fine.”
She was more of a contemporary girl, but Stef seemed to like it so she never said anything. It was so hard to watch him walking away from her. Or, in this case, running as fast as he could.
Jack Barnes’s eyes followed her own. “Don’t feel too bad. He’s obviously scared out of his mind.”
“Hey, Daddy!” Little Josh Barnes-Fleetwood ran up to the man who was obviously his biological father. He was the spitting image of Jack, but Josh was lucky enough to have two dads. “I’m hungry.”
Sam Fleetwood walked up, an easy smile on his face. “Come on, buddy. Your sister has already started in on the waffles. Let’s go.”
Sam gave Jack a wink and there was no way to miss the easy intimacy between the two men. Jack reached out to his partner, touching his shoulder as though he needed the contact. It was the same way he touched Abby. As though he lived and breathed for his partners.
Jen was damn jealous of those three.
She shook her head. She would pay a lot to watch those two cowboys going at it. Day-um, as they used to say in her hometown. But it wasn’t polite to ask one’s superhot bisexual guests if she could maybe sit in on their probably fierce lovemaking sessions. She focused on his words. “What did you mean by ‘he’s scared’?”
“Stefan. He’s scared. I’ve known Stef for a lot of years now and I’ve never seen him like this. He looks like he’s in control, but I know differently.” Jack placed a hand on her shoulder. “How close are you to delivering?”
Not close enough. She felt like a whale. Now she knew why Callie had complained all those months, and she’d been pregnant with twins. Jen felt like she would pop any minute and there was only one inside her. “I’m due next week, but Caleb said first babies can be late.”
And she couldn’t wait to meet her little Logan. Logan Mitchell Talbot. He was named after the man who had saved Jen’s life and Jen’s grandfather. She was so excited to meet their son, but she was starting to think Stef dreaded it. He hadn’t touched her in weeks, couldn’t seem to stand to look at her.
Had he decided he didn’t really want a baby? She could still remember the moment he’d first heard she was pregnant. He’d gotten to his knees and placed his hand on her belly and they had been so connected. There had been such joy in that moment, but it had faded over the long months. Somewhere along the way they’d lost that deep sense of oneness.
“Men are different, you know,” Barnes said.
She was utterly fascinated with the Barnes-Fleetwood family. They had come into the estate like a hurricane a few days back and she hadn’t stopped laughing since. Between the Barnes-Fleetwood clan and Julian Lodge’s family, the estate was suddenly filled with laughter and baby coos and the craziness that came with kids and family. She’d always longed for a big insane family. Jen had been raised as an only child. So had Stef. She wanted to change that for the next generation. She wanted her baby to have a couple of siblings they could rely on. “I don’t think we’re so different. You love your kids. I’m going to love this baby.”
She didn’t say the words she was really worried about. She didn’t say that she was scared that maybe Stef didn’t want their son. She tried not to even think the words.
Jack Barnes was a handsome man, but he was truly beautiful as his face softened and he leaned the ladder against the wall. “Oh, you don’t understand what I mean. We don’t really understand what it means to be a dad until the baby is here. Men are simple creatures. We start out just wanting sex and somewhere along the way we get caught and we find ourselves really loving a woman. That one woman who can make us turn away from all the others, well, she becomes our whole damn world. We don’t understand that things can change and yet still remain the same.”
Stef had been her world from almost the moment she’d seen him. She could still remember the minute she’d walked into Stella’s Diner and seen him sitting at the counter. He’d been so beautiful. He’d taken her breath away because he was so much more handsome than his pictures. She’d loved his artwork. He was a master, and she’d come to learn from him. And then he’d been a Master and oh, she’d learned more than she could have imagined. She’d learned about love and sex and she’d become something more than she had been before. Her sweet Master who brought her such pleasure, who made her feel precious and beloved, like she was the only woman in the whole world.
Had she lost him? Had he lost interest? Her heart ached at the very thought.
“I don’t know about that,” Jen replied. “I think some men like the hunt. Maybe they’re not so interested once the hunt is over.”
“Stef? I don’t think that he was much of a hunter.” Barnes shook his head. “The way I remember it, Stef always just let the subs come to him. I’ve been to some clubs with the man. Now, I was a helluva lot younger back then, but he never aggressively looked for anyone. He simply waited until he found someone deeply submissive and then negotiated a single encounter with her. He would negotiate longer contracts, but only rarely and only when the sub seemed to really need a Dom. At first I thought he was in love with Callie, but time proved me wrong.”
Callie Hollister-Wright was Stef’s best friend. There had never even been a hint of romance between them, just a loving friendship. “No. He views her as a sister.”
“Yeah, I got that after a while. Stef reminds me a little of myself. I was more about the D/s portion of the relationship than any one woman. I didn’t take any woman seriously until I met that redhead who wears my ring and my collar. I knew she was the one. I knew I wanted to marry her a couple of weeks after I met her.”
A little bitterness surged. It had taken Stef a very long time to wear down. “Stef didn’t feel that way about me. He pushed me away at first.”
The big cowboy grinned, a mischievous look. “Stef was a lot younger than I was. There’s a certain wisdom that comes with age. Hell, Stef still isn’t the age I was when I met Abby. It takes some of us longer.”
“Well, I think maybe Stef is wondering if he shouldn’t have taken a bit longer to get married.” He’d pulled away. There were nights when he didn’t come to bed until almost dawn, as though he tried to stay away from their bed for as long as possible. He would still kiss her, but they were fleeting pecks that did nothing to assuage her desires.
She missed her Dom. She missed her husband.
“He’s not.” Jack glanced back at the long dining room table where his family was enjoying a breakfast. A lovely blonde entered from the opposite door. Dani Lodge-Taylor was escorted by her husbands. Julian Lodge held her hand, looking coolly elegant in a suit. She got the definite impression that Julian only wore suits and leathers. He was that kind of a man. Finn Taylor walked behind him, carrying a baby in his arms. Little Chloe. She was so sweet. Finn didn’t seem to have a problem with being a dad. Neither did Julian. He was scary, but it was obvious he loved his daughter.