And does loving me mean that you want me physically?' Claire asked him.
His eyes didn't waver. Yes,' he said gravely. I've already told you that. Wanting you, desiring you … those are a part of my love.'
But in Dallas you pushed me away!'
His eyes narrowed incredulously. Pushed you away? For God's sake, Claire, how much self-control do you think I have? You were completely naked, I was holding you in my arms. I wanted to take you to bed right there and then, and show you how I felt about you,' he admitted flatly, adding in a thick and unfamiliar voice, although, the way I was feeling, I doubt that I'd have made it as far as the bed!'
She shook visibly with the effect of what he was saying, knowing that he was telling her the truth, but totally unable to take it in.
What on earth gave you the idea I still loved Susie?'
The way you rejected me. I thought you were wishing I was her, and then since we got back from Dallas, you've been so distant.'
So have you,' he pointed out.
Yes, but … '
But what? Was it because I kissed you, Claire? Did I frighten you so much that you felt you had to keep me at a distance?'
The anguish in his eyes was too much for her to bear.
I wasn't frightened of you. I was … I was frightened of myself, Jay, frightened of how you made me feel, of … '
How do I make you feel?'
He had never looked less urbane and in control, and she had never loved him more, she thought achingly, watching the expressions race across his face; dread … hope … need.
You make me feel … ' She broke off and licked her lips nervously. She heard him make a strangled sound deep in his chest and looked at him with wide nervous eyes.
Claire?' His voice pleaded and begged, and promised terrible retribution if she strung out his torment any longer.
You make me feel like a woman,' she told him huskily. You make me … want you, Jay … You make me love you.'
There was a long, poignant silence and then he said softly, Come here.'
She almost ran into his open arms. They closed round her so tightly she could hardly breathe. He kissed her hungrily, running his tongue over her top lip and then the bottom one, probing their softness.
open your mouth.'
She shuddered as his tongue touched hers, but not with revulsion. As he felt her shudder, Jay raised his head, his eyes dark with pain. It's too soon, isn't it?' he whispered rawly. I'm rushing you too much. God knows I don't want to hurt or frighten you. I want to give you all the time there is. I want to cherish and protect you. I … '
She knew all that. She also knew gloriously and freely that she wanted him. Here and now at this moment in time, she wanted to be at one with him in a celebration of their love.
Raising herself up on tiptoe, she leaned towards him, cupping his face running her tongue over his top lip in the way he had caressed hers, and then beyond it, feeling the faint prickle of his beard. Make love to me, Jay.' She interspersed the words with soft kisses. I want to be your wife, to bear your child. I want … '
She felt his indrawn breath and shivered heatedly in delight as his mouth opened over hers.
She was drowning in pleasure, floating in a delicious sensuous haze. She felt his hands on her body, and made a soft sound of satisfaction as he stripped it free of clothes. Her breasts filled his hands as though they were made for them, her nipples tight and urgent with desire.
I think we'd better go upstairs.'
She didn't want to be apart from him, and she twined her arms around him, burying her hot face in his throat, tasting the salt heat of his skin.
Claire, you're not making this easy for me.'
She didn't listen; she was too busy struggling with the buttons on his shirt. When he helped her with them she murmured a pleased sigh of pleasure, raking her nails gently through the darkness of his chest hair.
It was soft. She bent her head and pressed her face against his body. He shuddered and moaned something unintelligible into her ear, his mouth devouring the arched line of her throat and then beyond.
When his lips gently caressed the taut hardness of her nipple Claire thought she would faint from the pleasure. She clung to him as it coiled through her, unashamedly digging her fingers into his back, her body arching suplicatingly.
Somehow they were lying on the floor, supported by the cushions Jay had dragged off the sofa. The power and beauty of his naked body thrilled and aroused her. His hands stroked her skin and she was filled with a wanton delight, giving herself to him easily and eagerly, twisting and writhing against him as his hands and lips brought her to the edge of ecstasy.
It was she who begged him to enter her, sensing that he was fearful of hurting her, but her body welcomed him joyfully, his mouth absorbing her delirious cries of pleasure as they surged together to the glittering tantalising heights and then finally fell slowly back to earth.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?'
Claire had fallen asleep after they had made love, but now she was awake, watching Jay pick up their discarded clothes. He was wearing a towelling robe and she was covered in a duvet.
We don't want the girls asking awkward questions, do we?' He abandoned his task and came over to her. How could you think I still loved Susie?' he groaned against her mouth, taking her in his arms.
I don't know.' Claire gave him a smile that was purely mischievous. Perhaps you ought to convince me again that you don't … just to be on the safe side … The safe side!' Her face changed, and Jay frowned and stared at her.
What is it?' he demanded roughly. Claire, what's wrong? Did I hurt you after all? Did … '
It's nothing like that. I love you, Jay, and I know you'd never hurt me. It's just … '
What?'
She coloured delicately and offered with a small laugh, Well, I've never done this sort of thing before, and … '
And?'
We didn't take any precautions, Jay. I could have a baby!'
You said you wanted my child,' he reminded her, watching her.
I do … but you might not … '
Is that what you really think?' he asked thickly. Bending down, he scooped her up into his arms, duvet and all.
You're right,' he told her. I do have to convince you.'
At the top of the stairs Jay paused and, looking down into her glowing face, asked softly, Which room, madam, yours or mine?'
How about ours?' Claire suggested.
Ours. Mmm. I think I like the idea of that-we'll buy ourselves a new bed, I think, and it won't be ten feet wide! I want you as close to me as it's possible to be from now on. Close to me in all the ways there are, Claire. I've been so lucky to find you … '
Fate had not been unkind to her after all, Claire acknowledged headily as he shouldered open his bedroom door and carried her over to the bed.