"It's no big deal, really. I'm not a contender. It's mostly hobby."
Carter launched into a story about how he had a mentor in his early days after Basic who got him into Tae Kwon Do, which led to him seeking out more contact sports. "It does help the knee itself but it was something to focus on, something to do with myself since I couldn't exactly run anymore." Jeremy loved how Carter lit up, confident and proud, as he recalled his beginnings in boxing. Jeremy thought briefly that the way Carter talked about the guy who introduced him to the sport sounded more like a crush than just a friendship. He didn't know why that mattered, but the slight pang of jealousy was undeniable.
Either way, he found himself even more attracted to this grown up Carter than he'd initially been.
"You've really come into your own, son. We're all very proud of you," Jeremy's dad said.
Jeremy bit his tongue, not wanting to ruin the moment for Carter, because Carter flushed with pleasure at the praise. Sarah met Jeremy's gaze, apologetically, because neither couldn't remember his dad having ever said that to him.
But it was true. It was obvious Carter was no longer a child. He was still young, and Jeremy figured they all had some maturing to do-Jeremy more than anyone, by his estimation-but Carter was a man now. And seeing him in that new light definitely made Jeremy's blood pump faster. Maybe he should have skipped dinner. He wasn't supposed to be mooning over Carter in front of everyone.
"Got you a hot girlfriend, too," Jeremy said, all nudge-nudge-wink-wink, trying to remind himself, more than anything, that Carter wasn't out, nor was he available to help Jeremy fuck away his stupid infatuation with Troy. Carter looked at him with a tilt of the head and everyone at the table shared a look, making Jeremy think he'd missed something. He hated feeling like he was on the fucking outside, but that was par for the course. He'd committed some faux pas, yet again, and he didn't even know what it was.
Thankfully, Daphne came in shortly after with the last of the food and they all dug in. Conversation after that was surprisingly pleasant. They discussed Carter and Sarah's schooling and Jeremy's folks' work.
Conversation again came to a halt when Carter asked about Jeremy's band. "Do you guys have a lot of shows coming up?"
Jeremy and Sarah both looked at their parents, whose faces had gone grim. Daphne's look to them was of mild censure, and Carter looked around, realizing he'd caused the tension.
Jeremy answered him anyway. "No. Not for a while. We're taking some time off. You're stuck with me for a while." Carter turned his gaze away from Jeremy's loaded one and took a sip of his beer. Sarah's expression was blank when Jeremy looked her way. Shit. He figured she'd be around to warn him off any day now.
"Good. Maybe you'll think about doing something … grown up," his dad said.
Jeremy huffed. "Didn't you make your millions signing little nobodies like me?"
"That-"
"Guys!" Sarah snapped. "Can we not? We're celebrating Carter being here. Chill. Please."
Jeremy and his dad stared each other down, but Daphne broke the ice. "Anyone want dessert?"
Everyone accepted, except Jeremy. "I think I'm gonna go on up. I got an early start on the road this morning, so I'm probably gonna head to bed early."
Daphne sent him an understanding nod.
Jeremy said his goodnights and headed for his bed and away from family fun times. He had just opened the door to the stairs that led up to his room when Carter's voice stopped him short. "Hey, Jem, hold up."
Jeremy blinked. It had been forever since he had heard that nickname. He and Carter shared a love for British television shows and Carter, nerd that he could be, thought the British nickname for Jeremy was clever so he'd started calling him Jem. No one else ever had. And it was silly. It was especially a silly thing in the way it made his chest tighten like it did. The only other person who had a nickname for Jeremy was Troy's Germy, and somehow it always sounded more like an insult than Carter's Jem, which sounded … affectionate.
He turned to Carter. "What's up?"
"Can I?" Carter pointed up the stairs. Jeremy quirked a brow but shrugged and began to trudge up the steps. When they arrived, Jeremy slid his shoes off and put them by the door, lining them up by the others.
"God, I forgot how freakishly neat you are." Carter walked in and looked around. Jeremy followed Carter's gaze. His room hadn't changed since he'd first been allowed to move up there at sixteen. And yes, Carter was right, he was very neat. Even his king size bed was perfectly made, hospital corners and all.
Carter paused and looked at Jeremy, sticking his hands in his pockets. "I'm really sorry for earlier. I didn't realize the band thing was a sore subject."
Why had Carter come up for this? "Carter, what are you doing?"
Carter looked surprised. "Apologizing for your dad still being a dick to you."
Jeremy's head went back in surprise, then he let out a laugh. "Old habits die hard for Dale Beck. You don't have to apologize."
"No, I do. Sarah told me they don't like that you're slumming it, or whatever."
Jeremy huffed. "Or whatever." He studied Carter for a moment. "Why are you really here, Carter?"
Carter looked at him, really looked at him. "I guess … I just … " Carter stopped, then puffed up his chest a bit, looking more like that grown up Carter Jeremy had wanted to make out with earlier. "We're both going to be here. I want to be friends again. I get your relationship with your parents is weird. And I get the last time we spoke was … awkward." Jeremy closed his eyes. Those last words were why he didn't get why Carter was being nice now.
"I shouldn't have been such an ass to you."
Carter shrugged. "You were embarrassed."
"You think?" Jeremy asked. Seventeen year old Carter had spent the summer talking Jeremy's ear off. Jeremy hadn't felt worthy of the hero worship. At all. And he'd been half convinced Carter was gay and half convinced Carter was dating his sister. He hadn't been sure until a year ago when his sister said, "Ew, gross," that they hadn't.
Carter had caught Jeremy snorting a few lines in the bathroom during the fourth of July party that last summer he stayed at the ranch, five years ago, and Jeremy … He had been so ashamed. He'd been tweaked out and embarrassed, and fucking devastated to see the horror on Carter's face. He'd cussed a blue streak and almost punched Carter.
So no, he did not deserve kind words.
But.
"I got clean after that." Jeremy didn't know why he told Carter that.
But then Carter's eyes got that old shine, the one that no one but Carter had ever gifted him with. "That's great, Jeremy. I mean, Sarah told me you had. But I didn't realize."
"Yeah." Jeremy didn't tell him how important, or what a pivotal thing, Carter's good opinion of him had been. He hadn't realized it himself back then, and hadn't really realized the gravity of it until this very moment. That might also be why he was so weird around Carter now, too, since Carter had once again sort of witnessed Jeremy being a dumbass-this time with Troy and Macy.
"I just wanted you to know I've followed you and your band. And, if it's worth anything, I'm proud of you." Carter's shoulders tensed. "Not that I think you need my approval or-"
Jeremy laughed, holding up a hand to stop Carter. "No. I know what you meant." And goddamn. He hadn't realized how much it would mean to hear someone he'd known for so long-other than Sarah-say those words. He hadn't realized how it would affect him to hear Carter say those words.
"Thank you, Carter." The words were quiet enough that Carter had leaned in to hear them. They both were leaning in. The moment was almost … intimate.
"Jeremy," Carter said quietly, eyes searching Jeremy's face.
Jeremy suddenly remembered himself, though. Carter may be hot, he may be nice, but-no but. Carter was nice and sweet. Jeremy didn't do sweet. He didn't do his sister's friends. He might have a little thing for Carter. He might wanna lick the guy. But teasing was as far as this went.
But you said two hours ago if he asked.
That moment was more than asking for head in the shower, though. It was loaded with emotion. Fuck that. Besides, something was off, obviously, but he'd followed Carter too. He saw what some of the blogs who cared about Carter's parents had to say, and he was pretty sure he had noticed a girlfriend. He hadn't just been being a dick when he'd asked about her. He wondered what the hell was up with that.
Jeremy moved back, then leaned against the wall behind him, crossing his ankles and giving Carter a sideways grin. "Well. I'm headed to bed. Best run along now, straight boy."