Simple Things(11)

Carter felt  …  good. He didn't feel awkward. Though, that could be the  beer talking. And as Jeremy returned with a fresh towel around his  waist, he smiled lazily and lit his joint, so he obviously wasn't  freaking out.

Then he pinned a look on Carter, blowing out a puff of smoke. "Carter, shut up."

"I didn't-"

"Your face is doing a hundred things. It's loud. Stop. Freak out in the morning."

Carter laughed at himself, which made Jeremy roll his eyes and smile again.

Holy shit, you just blew Jeremy Beck. You just came all over Jeremy fucking Beck.

"Shut up, Carter."

Carter laughed again and sat down to have another beer.





6





Jeremy switched off the ATV and just sat there, looking out over the old  back pasture. It was one of the only plots of his parents' land that  wasn't utilized. There had always been big plans, had been since he was a  kid, but it sat unused and overgrown with knee-high brown grass and  weeds. Out in the distance stood the old barn with its rusty tin roof,  the one that had been built by the original owner of the land a good  fifty years ago.

He and Sarah had always escaped back there when they were kids. Then  Carter had come along and joined them as well. They would ride their  ATVs back and hang out around a bonfire, or sometimes Sarah would read  in the old hayloft. More than once, Carter had disappeared back there to  be alone because he had nowhere else to hide when they were kids and  Jeremy and Sarah had respected that that was one thing they could offer  him-unconditional support and a little space.

Life had thrown so much at them all since those easier days, but that was life, Jeremy figured. Everyone had their lot.

He had woken that morning and he'd been the one who needed space. He  told Carter the night before not to freak out, but here he was, the one  who needed to chill the fuck out.                       
       
           



       

He hadn't done anything wrong. His phone went off, like his buddy Milo  had read his mind. He read the text. It isn't like you to overthink it.  Hell, if anything, it's far healthier than that bullshit with Troy.

Jeremy snorted. Wasn't that just the damn truth? All of it. He had never  been quite so concerned over a hookup before. But it wasn't just any  old fuck buddy or fuckboy from a show, this was Carter.

Milo was right about the Troy situation, too. Jeremy had been wrapped up  in the weird non-threesome for way too long. Maybe that had been why he  had so quickly given in to Carter. To feel good about himself while  being with someone, to feel like he was actually wanted, was a nice  change. Even if they had both been shocked by their actions, it had been  a damn good blowjob, and Jeremy had been able to enjoy the afterglow,  rather than sit back and let Macy and Troy do their thing.

He wasn't even that infatuated with Troy anymore, so much as he had been  accustomed to what they had been doing for so long. In the beginning,  it had been kinky and fun, then he had gotten more attached than he  should have. But ever present was the fact Troy was with Macy, bisexual  or not, and even if Jeremy turned him on, their sex was just a means to  an end for the couple. Jeremy wasn't part of the equation.

Jeremy texted Milo back. It's just been a while since I wanted more. I don't want to get wrapped up.

Seconds later, he got a Woah in response. He was as surprised at himself  as Milo. Ever since he had seen Carter again, he had felt this small  part of him wanting to show Carter how he wasn't that guy who had cussed  him out, who had been strung out all those years ago. Especially since  he had found out Carter was gay too. There was an itch under his skin  now. One he didn't know what to do with.

A buzzing sound pulled Jeremy out of his thoughts. It took only a moment  to realize he was watching Carter come up on one of the ATVs. Carter  didn't spot Jeremy until he had come closer, and Jeremy laughed to  himself that it felt like a game of chicken, both trying to figure out  who would run first.

And dammit, that really helped him lose a huge chip he'd had on his  shoulder since he'd first seen Carter. What were either of them doing?  They were old friends, not as close as Sarah and Carter, but still  friends. They hadn't seen each other in ages, but they had gotten along  well since Carter had gotten back, and now they both knew the other was  gay and they obviously had something physical. Carter may have some  social anxiety, but Jeremy was far from cautious. Why should they make  this weird? Why should Jeremy?

If Carter wanted more, that was cool. They could make each other feel  good. If Carter didn't, they could be friends again. They were going to  be seeing each other regularly, so there was no sense in acting like  silly angsting teenagers over the fact they'd shared a hot ass moment by  the pool.

Carter must have been put at ease by Jeremy's loss of tension, because  he smiled, looking a little more sure of himself-and it was sexy as  hell-before continuing up to Jeremy. Jeremy's phone went off again, but  he couldn't tear his eyes from Carter. He was in a hoodie that was  practically painted on from the perfect V that was his trim waist to his  broad shoulders. Jeremy felt his flirty smile appear on his face.

Carter pulled up beside him and cut the engine. "Sorry if you wanted  alone time. I didn't know you were out here." Carter didn't have to  throw the "you didn't talk to me at breakfast" out there.

"Nah, I'm good. Sorry about breakfast. Needed to clear my head."

Carter studied Jeremy, but seemed to have decided to take Jeremy at his  word. "It's good. I understand." Jeremy was impressed when Carter kept a  steady gaze on him as he said, "Last night was pretty intense. I get  it."

Jeremy chuckled. "Yeah. Intense." He raked his eyes over Carter. "Didn't know you had that in you."

Carter looked out over the field behind Jeremy, but Jeremy didn't miss how pleased Carter looked.

Jeremy sighed. "Look, Carter … "

Carter didn't look directly at Jeremy, but out of the corner of his eye. "Uh oh."

"No. Not uh oh." Jeremy laughed and moved to stand in front of Carter's  ATV, looking him directly in the eyes. It was time for Jeremy to do what  Jeremy did best. Keep it simple. Keep it real. Those things had saved  his ass and his sobriety. Which is why he'd told himself it was time to  get away from Troy, because there was nothing simple about all that.

"Carter, I enjoyed last night."

Carter's lips ticked up. "Me too."                       
       
           



       

"I've been a bit of a jerk since you got here because I have-well,  hopefully had-some complications in my personal life. And I didn't  realize you were out, even to yourself. So I put you in the column with  ‘complicated shit' and tried to keep you at arm's length."

Carter nodded. "I can understand that."

"I apologize for how wishy-washy I've been. I promise it was all me."  Time to keep it real. "When you came up to my room the other night,  though," Jeremy put a hand on where Carter's rested on the handle bars  of the ATV. "No one's done anything nice like that for me in a while,  just to see how I was. It reminded me …  You're a good guy. No bullshit,  no band drama, no questions. I've missed your ass." Carter snorted and  Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Not your actual ass, though it ain't half bad."  He winked.

"Thanks. I think." Carter studied Jeremy in an inscrutable way, his jaw  firm. It almost sucked to see Carter wasn't as trusting as he once had  been. Granted, Jeremy knew he'd given Carter plenty of reasons not to  trust him, but that hard look was more than just Jeremy being a flake  the last couple of weeks. That was a man who had been through, and seen  things, Jeremy would never know; a man who'd been jaded by life, not  just a couple bad run-ins with Jeremy.

"So …  you're cool?" Carter asked.

Jeremy cocked his head in question.

"I won't lie and say you hadn't seemed different. I want you to know I  didn't hold the past against you. I'm glad you're clean and all. I just  don't want to be a cause for stress. I'll stay out of your way if you  need space to get your head on straight. After the stuff with your band  and all."

Jeremy felt a fondness he'd only ever reserved for Carter, one he hadn't  even been able to deny when they were younger. "No. You're one of the  good things." He came around the side of the ATV and put a hand on  Carter's face. Carter seemed surprised, but he didn't move, just leaned  in fractionally. The soft look in his eyes broke the last of Jeremy's  resolve and he did something he hadn't done in a very long time …

He placed a closed mouth, simple kiss on Carter's lips. It was a hello  and an I've missed you, and it held no promise. But it was more than  just friends. Carter pressed into the kiss after a moment of stunned  stillness. Neither of them opened their mouths, it stayed a gentle  meeting of lips.