Sacrifice of Love (The Grey Wolves #7)(12)

Decebel turned abruptly and slammed his fists into the wall tearing through the plaster even as her words tore through his heart.“HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK SUCH A THING?” he snarled but kept his back to her. “You have no concept of the pain that I am going through right now, mate.” he turned slowly to face her as his breathing increased and he fought for control to keep from phasing. “The thought of you gone, where I can’t touch you, can’t hold you, can’t be there if you need me, is like a hot skewer being shoved into my gut.”
“How am I supposed to know Decebel?” she snarled right back. “You won’t let me in. You hide your thoughts from me. You keep your touch from me. It’s like you can’t stand to be with me. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK?” Tears were sliding down her cheeks and she had abandoned the half packed suitcase.
Their eyes met and the pain they both felt radiated between them. Decebel stumbled forward and fell to his knees in front of her.
“Please, I know I don’t deserve it, but please trust me,” he whispered against her stomach as he leaned against her.
Jen closed her eyes and soaked up the contact as she ran her fingers through his dark hair. It had grown enough in the past couple of months that it dropped in front of his eyes, adding to his off-limits allure.
She felt more tears slide down her cheeks and drop onto his face as he looked up at her. Decebel stood and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in as tightly as he could without hurting her.
“Baby,” he whispered against her hair. He breathed in her scent and could taste her on his tongue and he longed for the nights of shared laughter, whispers, and love. “I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you. But you have to believe me, I love you, I love our baby, and I’m not abandoning you.”
Jen shuddered as she felt his breath against her neck and his hands run up her back, firm and confident in his touch. She loved that about him. He saw what he wanted and he just took it. He had wanted her, and he had taken her and she had gone willingly with a big fat grin on her face. That felt like ages ago, but it hadn’t even been a year. She never thought she would need anyone, not the way she needed Decebel. As he held her, asking her to trust him, even though he wouldn’t tell her what he was keeping from her, she knew she would. She would give Decebel anything he asked for, even if it broke her heart to do so.
“Promise me you will be alright,” she told him as she pulled back far enough to be able to look up into his amber eyes, “promise me that you will come for me and your child. Promise me that,” her words were cut off with a choke as she tried to keep from falling apart.
“Shh, Jennifer,” he told her gently. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her chin, and then her lips. Decebel’s hand slipped up into Jennifer’s hair on either side of her face, holding her still as he took her mouth in his. He kissed her deeply imprinting his taste in her mind, his love in her heart, and, as usual, she gave as good as she got. He nipped at her lips and smiled when she moaned and pressed her swollen body against his. He continued to kiss her but let one of his hands slid down until it rested on her stomach. She gasped as she pulled back from the kiss and pressed her forehead to his. Her eyes met his as she covered his hand with her own. 
“I love you,” her whisper reached into the dark places that were beginning to form as their bond began to weaken. He pushed the thought from his mind and focused on the woman in his arms―his woman.
“Sometimes I love you seems inadequate for what I feel for you,” he whispered back.
“Please tell me to stay,” Jennifer pleaded with him and it brought a fresh wave of anguish.
“I want you to baby, more than you know. But you need to go. You will be safe there.”
Decebel’s wolf snarled at him. We make her safe, he told the man. We protect her; she is ours. He couldn’t argue with his wolf because all of those things were true, but the man knew that sometimes protecting meant letting go of the one needing protection, no matter how badly you want to hold on.
Jen waited, but he didn’t say anything more. She pulled him tighter against her, trying to memorize the feel of his body.
“I’ll go,” she told him finally, “but I’m still pissed at you.”
A small smile curved the side of his lips and she reached up to kiss him.
“It is noted that you are still pissed,” he told her in between kisses.
Their kiss grew more and more intense as words seemed incapable of describing the love and need that had been growing in both of them. Jen grabbed on to him like he was a life raft in a turbulent storm. Her hands roamed over him and he didn’t stop her the way he had so many times before.
“I’m sorry baby. I’m so sorry,” he murmured over and over and his own hands caressed and loved her as he had not allowed himself to do in so long.
He knew he should just kiss her, help her pack, and then walk her out to go, but he couldn’t. This might be the last time he would be with his mate, the last time to kiss her, touch her, and love her, and so he would take what was his, what he had denied himself and her for too long.
“I love you Jennifer,” he told her as he laid her on their bed and covered her body with his own.
“Show me,” she was breathless as the words left her mouth.
“I plan to,” he whispered against her ear. His wolf howled triumphantly and Decebel was powerless to stop himself as he sunk his teeth into his mark on her neck that branded her as his.
“Yours,” she agreed.
“Mine.”
“I understand why you want to go.” Fane was standing with his back against the wall and his arms were folded across his chest. He just barely kept the growl out of his voice, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from glowing. He was angry - angry with Cypher for sending Lilly away, angry at Jacquelyn for deciding to go without speaking with him first, angry at his father for agreeing to it, and angry at himself because he couldn’t do a damn thing about any of it.
“If you understand, then what is the problem?” Jacque asked as she threw her clothes haphazardly in her suitcase not bothering to check what was in her hands.
“The problem is I’m not going to be there to keep you safe.”
Jacque stopped what she was doing and looked over at her mate. “Have I not proven that I’m capable of protecting myself?”
“That’s not the point,” Fane snapped, “You’re my mate. You belong by my side.”Jacque groaned and threw her head back. “Are you kidding me? Look, I understand that you males have this weird complex that makes you all possessive and whatnot, but this is my mom, Fane. She’s hurting and I’m not going to stand back while she goes back to the states after the man she loves has sent her away.”
“It’s for her own good. He’s just trying to keep her safe.” Fane pushed off of the wall and walked towards his mate. “It’s not like he doesn’t love her.”
“And you think that makes it less painful?” Jacque slammed her suitcase closed and zipped it shut with much more force than was needed. Poor suitcase, she thought, it’s not your fault all the males on this blasted continent are clueless buttheads.
“I can hear you, you know?”
Jacque raised her eyes to look at Fane. “Yes, I’m well aware of the fact that you frequently listen in when you are not invited.”
She jerked the suitcase from the bed and set it on the floor, pulling up the handle so that she could roll it behind her. She made another pass through the bathroom, but then decided that whatever she’d forgotten her mom would have at her house. If not, then Walmart was a hop, skip, and a jump away.
Fane watched in brooding silence as his mate flitted around the room. He couldn’t make her stay. He had argued all the things he could think to argue and it just wasn’t enough. As she headed towards their bedroom door, dragging the suitcase behind her, she looked back over her shoulder.
“Walk me out?” she asked him in a voice that was much softer than the one she had been using with him. It was the voice she used when she wanted something, the voice he could rarely deny.
He growled but walked to her and took the suitcase from her.
“I’m not happy about this Jacquelyn,” he told her as his blue eyes bore into hers.
“Noted.”
“Do you care?”
She huffed, “You know I do.”
“But you’re still going?”
“Yes.”
He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, surprisingly gentle considering the scowl plastered on his face. He grabbed her then and pulled her from their room, suitcase in one hand, Jacque in the other. There was nothing more to say. Now he just had to hope that he could hold it together until they were together again.
Sally was extremely surprised at Costin’s volatile response to her decision to go to the States with Lilly and the others. Of all the male wolves, Costin was the most relaxed and easygoing. But his relaxed nature was gone as he paced around their room, having just hastily shoved on a pair of pants, which was necessitated by his rage induced run. 
She stood silently next to her packed things and waited for him to speak. She had packed everything while he was gone and now had an hour to spare, or argue with her unreasonable mate, whatever the case may be.
“I’m not unreasonable,” he snarled. “My mate wants to fly across the globe without me. I’m sorry if I find that a little upsetting.”