Resentment(77)
“I want to convince you to stay for another week. No, wait, you’ve only been here two days so far. Can you make it three weeks?”
“I would if I could.” She smiles. “But I don’t have a lenient boss and I’m pretty sure my fiancé won’t appreciate that.”
“I can’t believe you and Jacob lasted all this time. That’s amazing.”
“Yeah, we’re so not going there today. Answer my question, what do you want to do today?”
“I was thinking about going up to the roof and standing at the edge. Then jumping.”
“Okay. Dramatic much?”
“Sorry.”
“You know what, I have the perfect pick me up,” she says, walking over to the corner and retrieving her laptop. She gets back into her sleeping bag and motions for me to do the same.
“Online shopping?”
“Better, online dating.”
“You’re not serious right now?”
“I’m completely serious, you know what they say: The best way to get over a guy is to get under another.”
“Yeah...I’m pretty sure that only applies after some significant time has passed.”
“Some significant time has passed, this is day three.”
“Could you please be serious for five seconds?”
“I am being serious. Everyone does it, Mia. It’s time for you to join the rest of the world.”
“I’ll pass. Thank you.”
“Like hell you will.” She places the laptop down in front of me. “Let’s create your profile.”
I shake my head at her and take a big gulp of my coffee.
“Okay, what are you looking for?”
“Peace of mind, freedom from assholes.”
“No,” she says, typing. “You’re looking for guys between the age of 26 to 34, friendship, short-term dating, and casual sex.”
“Wait, what?” I nearly choke “Autumn! I’m not looking for casual sex.”
“Yes, you are. Some great sex might be just the thing you need.”
“I’m not screwing a guy I meet online.”
“No, you talk to him online, you meet in person. and then you screw. See, it’s not the same thing.”
Jesus... I sigh.
“Let’s start with your name. You need a flirty and fake one just to be safe. How about Candy?”
I give her a blank stare.
“Okay, okay. Let’s do Audrey.”
“Let’s go all out. How about Audrey Hepburn?”
“Good choice on that last name, it’s unique,” she says. “How would you describe yourself?”
“Depressed.”
“Twenty-eight.” She keeps typing. “Single, sexy, curvy. Oh, and it asks for your bra size. What’s your bra size?”
“I’m not giving you my bra size.”
“You’re so difficult.” She leans over and literally grabs the tag of my bra from under my shirt, reading the size. “34C.” She returns to typing. “Long, brown hair. Brown eyes. Porn star lips. I think that’s good enough for now. Let’s upload a profile picture.”
She opens my photo gallery and shakes her head at all of my demure and “boring” photos.
“Finally!” She stops on a picture of me from last year. “Here. This one is perfect.”
“Autumn, you’re not using a picture of me in a bikini for my profile picture.”
“Okay, I’m using this one then, your boobs look huge, trust me.” She uploads the picture of me in a tight tank top and hits the button to make my profile public.
“So what now?” I ask.
“Now we check out your options.”
For hours we browse through the available single guys, but I’m only halfway paying attention. I know damn well I’m not open to even thinking about dating someone else.
She knows this too, but I love the hell out of her for trying to pretend otherwise.
***
Sometime around midnight, I feel my phone buzzing against my sleeping bag. I figure that it’s Eric, checking on me for the umpteenth time since I moved out. I’m still in awe that he paid the rent on my apartment for the next two years.
I pull out my phone, ready to tell him that I’m still okay, but then I see that it’s not his name on my screen at all. Its Dean’s. I let the call go all the way through to voicemail.
He calls again.
Same thing.
He calls one more time and my heart begs me to answer it, but my mind overrules.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, that’s not happening asshole.
Chapter 38
MIA
“So, let me get this straight,” Eric says, putting his fork down over lunch the next day. “You and Dean fucked in my kitchen?”