Resentment(18)

I’m not sure what to say to that, so I just remain quiet.

He doesn’t say anything further until four more planes have taken off into the sky, until the sound of engines roaring against the air temporarily comes to a stop.

“I apologize for the asshole that is my father.” He sighs. “I didn’t think he’d come back home so early. He’s never there during that time.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.” I keep my gaze toward the sky. “Is he like that often?”

“Unfortunately. We argue all the time. You couldn’t pay us to get along.”

He gets quiet all over again, so we watch more planes take off on the runway ahead of us. As the sun begins to set, he rolls over to face me.

“I need to tell you something else personal,” he says, making me roll over on my side, too.

“I’m listening.”

“My dad is using me to live above his means. He’s been bleeding money from his retirement and savings ever since my mom left, so he wants me to play in college, and then the NFL for the pay check. He accepts gifts from recruiters and keeps them for himself...On days like this, I really miss my mom. She was nothing like him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” His smile makes its first appearance in hours. “I’m sure you can relate.”

“Yeah, just in reverse. That’s how I feel about my dad,” I admit. “He actually supported me and my brother’s art dreams. My mom couldn’t care less.”

“You have a brother?” He raises his eyebrow.

“Yeah.” I shrug. “He’s four years older, but he ran away shortly after my father divorced my mom since he couldn’t take living with her anymore.”

“Do the two of you keep in contact?”

“Twice a month we talk on the phone, and we email each other from time to time. I’ve been trying to get him to come home for Christmas.”

“I take it that he said no?”

“He actually said hell no.” I laugh and suddenly his lips are on mine and he’s running his fingers through my hair. I don’t even try to stop him—I kiss him back even harder, feeling his hands go around my waist.

I actually want him to take things further, for his hands to directly touch my skin, so I finally know what it feels like, but he doesn’t. He simply kisses me until I can’t breathe anymore, until the sun goes down, until the two of us have had enough.





Chapter 7


MIA

On Christmas Eve, my house is packed with my mother’s side of the family. They’re all congratulating me on the Harvard acceptance every few seconds and my mom is doing her best to pretend like she and I are so damn happy. (We’re even wearing matching holiday sweaters.)

“Do you still do art, Mia?” My aunt asks. “What happened to that painting you were working on the last time we came?”

“She never finished it.” My mother answers for me, passing me a bowl of mashed potatoes. “She realized that art wasn’t her thing. Thank god, you know? Remember when I thought I knew how to sing in college?”

“Oh, well that’s okay, Mia,” my aunt says. “At least you knew when to quit. It would’ve been awkward to have to hang your paintings around the house anyway. You know your mom only likes to look at the best of things. She’s high class like that.”

Everyone around the table laughs and I push my chair back. “Can I be excused for a moment? I need to get something out of the kitchen.”

My mom waves me away and I quickly rush into the kitchen and grab my phone. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I left it out of reach, and I immediately text Autumn.

MIA: Can you please come save me? Like, NOW? I feel like I’m stuck in the Christmas from hell.

AUTUMN: Can’t...I’m trapped in my own version of Christmas hell. My mom just found out that I’m not a virgin and she’s giving me the abstinence speech. (Wait...Are you still a virgin? O_o )

MIA: Damn...Sorry. (What? Of course, I am! Why wouldn’t I be?)

AUTUMN: She wants me to sign a contract saying that I won’t have sex again until I’m 21. BAHAHAHA! (Because of who you’re dating :-) We’ll see how long THAT lasts!)

MIA: Okay, wait. How did she find out? (He promised me that we wouldn’t have sex, so it’ll be lasting a long time.)

AUTUMN: She found an empty condom wrapper in my purse. God, now she’s bringing out some “The Dangers of Sex” brochures. (No, he promised you that he wouldn’t PUSH you into having sex. Big difference!)

MIA: Ew. Where is Jacob? (Trust me, we’re not going to have sex :-) )