Playing in Secret(25)

"I'm not laughing."

"Really? You're part of the Society? I'm in the Society lair?"

"Yes, and no. You're in a public office at a private foundation. This room is not part of any ‘lair.'"

"But it's here right? This foundation is a front for it?"

"Yes."

He starts laughing as he walks closer to me again. "Why would you tell me? I'll expose you all. Give me Jeanne."

The door bangs open, and Reina's standing there. "You're not telling anyone, and you'll never have Jeanne."

Jimmy grabs me suddenly, trying to use me as a shield. I do fight now,  pushing him away. With one last burst of strength, he shoves me hard,  causing me to trip. I hit my head on the desk, and start to feel myself  losing consciousness. I hear yelling as I'm caught by strong arms. The  last thing I hear is Reina reminding him that he said he wasn't scared  of her, and telling him he's going to regret that, and then everything  goes black.





Chapter 18


Audrey

They woke me up every hour for the first 24 that I was here in the  hospital ward. I know they had to check on me since I had a concussion,  but I just wanted to sleep. Kendrick was the last one to come in,  telling me the baby was fine, and that I was, too. After that, they let  me sleep. I don't know how long I was out, but I'm groggy now when I  wake up.

The nurse comes in when I press my call button, and then I have to  endure all the usual vital checks before she gives me a pitcher of water  to drink. I tell her I'm hungry, and she takes my breakfast order, too.  These are normal things for any hospital, but here my pitcher of water  is glass, and my breakfast will be gourmet, cooked to order by the chefs  upstairs. Oh, and I'm in another satin sleepshirt courtesy of Stella,  instead of a typical hospital gown. The perks of being a secret agent  are endless. At least with the Society and Corrigan & Co. behind me.

The nurse has only been gone a few minutes when there's a knock at my  door. I'm expecting Reina, but I'm not entirely surprised when Caleb  walks in. "Hi Cal."

"You don't look too surprised."

"Once everyone acknowledged what they heard through my comm unit, I knew  you'd be paying me a visit. Tegan can relate to me even though our  situations are different, and you're here for Blake."

"Is it okay? I mean, I can come back if you're not ready to talk to me."

"It's fine."

"That's what Teeg says when it's not."

"This time it is," I tell him with a laugh, and then a wince.

"Aud?"

"My head just hurts a little when I laugh, but I promise you I'm good."

"Okay. You said that you already know why I'm here?"

"I do. I don't need this talk, but I think you do. So go ahead and lay it on me."

He nods, takes a deep breath, and then begins to plead Blake's case for  him. "Guys are jerks. We don't always mean to be, but we are. When I was  sixteen, I was insecure, jealous, but most of all, stupid. I let my  insecurities, and my pride-mostly my pride-guide me, and it hurt Tegan  more than I can ever make up for. I hurt myself, too, but that's my own  fault. Teeg, what I did to her? That is something that I have to live  with for my whole life.

"And then when she came back into my life, I did it again. I called her  names, said words I didn't believe or mean, because again, I was  insecure and prideful. That whole sticks and stones thing we say as kids  is bullshit. Words hurt so much more than anything physical, and I hurt  her again. Over and over, I've hurt the woman I love, and yet she's  forgiven me."

"You've forgiven her, too."

"I have. Audrey, I fell in love with Ethan the moment I knew he was  mine. There was no hesitation, my heart just opened and let him all the  way in."

"He's an amazing kid."

"He is. Because of his mom, and all of you, not because of me. That  hurts. It hurts me so much that I missed ten years of his life. People  think I forgave Tegan too easily for that, and maybe I did, but I  couldn't dwell on what I'd lost. If I'd done that, I'd still be in a  corner somewhere, curled into the fetal position. I lost those years  with Ethan, but I also lost them with Tegan. All I could think about was  that I didn't want to lose the next ten or more with her. That's more  important to me than the past.         

     



 

"Would I have loved to have been with them, to have seen my boy be born  and take his first steps? Hell yeah. But I get to watch him navigate  high school in a few years, and fall in love for the first time. I get  to see him grow into the man that I should've been. The man I'm trying  to be now. My son will never use the words I did, against a man or a  woman. He will have his faults, I'm sure, but they won't be the same as  mine, because he was raised during his formative years by all of you. I  will never be able to thank you all enough for what you've done for  Tegan and Ethan, but in my weakest moments, I wish I'd been there, too."

"I was always going to tell Blake."

"Good. I've heard that he's great with his daughter, so I know he'll  want to be part of your child's life, even if he's not ‘with' you."

"I know that too."

"Thanks for listening to me. You're probably right-I needed that more than you did."

"You're a very good man, Caleb. I've never seen Tegan happier than  you've made her since you've been back together, and Ethan is thriving,  too. I'm so happy for all of you."

He leans over and kisses my cheek. "Thanks for saying that, Audrey. I'm  happier than I've ever been." He rubs his hands together and smiles at  me. "Now, let's talk about what we're each working on while you wait for  your breakfast. Chemistry makes everything better, right?"

"Right," I tell him laughing. We are such nerds.



Blake

A nurse came and woke me up, to tell me Audrey's awake, and I'm rushing  down the hall to her now. They wouldn't let me stay in her room, but I  was allowed to sleep down the hall in another empty one. I let Jeanne go  home with Scott Griffin-maybe meeting his wife and son will stop that  damn swooning thing she keeps doing around him. I stop short near the  nurse's desk when I see a man already in there with Audrey, kissing her  cheek.

"Oh God, Caleb Hall is so hot," one nurse says.

"I know. I mean he's a cowboy, and a scientist. Damn, I wish he was on  the market. I'd let him experiment on me," the other one at the desk  says.

"Do you think he's the father of her baby?" I blurt out, before I can even think about what I'm saying.

"No," the first nurse tells me, her eyes widening.

"I love Audrey, but I wouldn't share my husband with her."

I turn, ready to face the woman who just heard me ask if her husband was  sleeping with Audrey. She's got bright red hair, and a cowboy hat on  her head. She's smiling, so I think I'm going to live to see another  day.

"Sorry about that. I'm Blake."

"I'm Tegan, and I know who you are. He's advocating for you," she tells me, tilting her chin towards the room.

"Me? Why would he do that?"

She looks at the nurses, and then motions me over to the chairs against  the far well. Once we sit, she leans towards me, and starts to tell me  her story. "When we were sixteen, Caleb and I were in love. And then his  friend drugged my drink, and even though I got away before anything  could happen, said ‘friend' told him I had slept with him, and Cal  believed him."

"That sucks."

"Yep. Especially because I had just found out that I was pregnant."

"Whoa. That must've been hard, getting past him thinking you betrayed him so you could raise your baby."

"I didn't tell him."

"You didn't-what?"

"I won't go into details, but he was pretty horrible to me. His friends  were even worse. My parents wanted me to have an abortion, and I had no  one. I needed Caleb, and he wasn't there for me. The Society rescued me  from the clinic my mom took me to, and I left my small town, and all the  names I was being called, and gave my baby and me a fresh start."

"How long?"

"Ethan was ten when they met. He just turned eleven. They met a few months ago."

"That's … I don't … I can't imagine not knowing my daughter for twelve years."

"I know. Ethan never thought he was missing anything because he had  everyone in the Society, plus the Griffins, and other friends to love  him and teach him anything he could possibly want to learn. But when he  saw Caleb, he needed him. I could see it in his face, and feel it in my  heart. He didn't want to let me down, but he had to know his father.

"Lots of different people have opinions on what I should regret in my  life, but I only regret this one thing. Once I was safe with the  Society, I should've told Caleb. The only thing I can say in my defense  is that I was heartbroken, and scared. Probably a little bitter, too. If  Cal's mom hadn't asked us to protect him, I don't know if I ever  would've taken Ethan back to that town to meet him. That's something I  have to live with, and it hurts. I see the hurt in Caleb's eyes when he  thinks I'm not looking, and although Ethan would never tell me, I know  he wishes his dad had been around."